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Early And Awful

  1. early and awful
    Wilbur Ross Jokes Syria Strike Was ‘After-Dinner Entertainment’ at Mar-a-LagoThe Commerce secretary added that it “didn’t cost the president anything,” as the crowd chuckled.
  2. early and awful
    GOP Senator’s Debate Tactic: Jab War Hero Over Ethnicity and Military Heritage“I forgot your parents came all the way from Thailand to serve George Washington.”
  3. early and awful
    Congressman Explains Charlotte Protesters Just ‘Hate White People’Meanwhile, Mike Pence thinks we should all set aside “this talk about institutional racism and institutional bias.”
  4. early and awful
    Governor LePage: Disease-Riddled Asylum Seekers Are Maine’s ‘Biggest Problem’Though some of their illnesses aren’t real.
  5. early and awful
    Paul LePage Claims Racist Remarks Were Part of a Clever StrategyShocker: He was talking about black drug dealers the whole time!
  6. early and awful
    LePage Blames Maine’s Heroin Woes on ‘D-Money’“I was going impromptu and my brain didn’t catch up to my mouth.”
  7. horrible racists
    CSPAN Caller Lets It Slip That Republicans ‘Hate That N*gger Obama’The problem with live political television.
  8. early and awful
    Maine Governor Paul LePage Explains Obama Hates White PeopleBut he’s learned his lesson about calling people Nazis.
  9. early and awful
    Bob Filner Hits Rock Bottom [Updated]He’s accused of making inappropriate sexual advances on a great-grandmother.
  10. early and awful
    Jesse Jackson Jr. Gets 30 Months in PrisonHe “smiled slightly when he received his punishment.”
  11. early and awful
    Missouri Officials Now Realize Obama Rodeo Clown Was in Poor TasteOffering to show “Obama run down by a bull” doesn’t shout all-American fun.
  12. the internet
    Another Politician’s Teenage Son Used Twitter to Offend EveryoneCongressman Joe Heck apologized.
  13. early and awful
    Senator Jeff Flake’s Son Completes the Bigotry TrifectaGays, Jews, and black people. 
  14. early and awful
    Rumsfeld ‘Can’t Tell’ If Obama ‘Switched Sides’Nice, real nice. 
  15. early and awful
    Jeff Duncan: Gun Database Could Lead to GenocideSomebody has finally made the connection between gun control and Rwanda. 
  16. early and awful
    Bush, Clinton Chef Defends Presidential Tasters“Let’s not characterize this as some kind of Medieval court food taster.”
  17. early and awful
    First Campaign Ad by Stephen Colbert’s Sister Is Not Funny at AllBooo, be funny.
  18. early and awful
    Psy Rapped About Killing American Soldiers We don’t feel like doing the horse dance anymore.
  19. early and awful
    Marco Rubio’s Deceptively Pro-Science Answer on the Age of the Earth“I’m not a scientist, man.”
  20. early and awful
    Dozens of Mysteriously Nonwhite People Voted in Maine Last WeekThe outgoing GOP chairman will investigate where these so-called “black people” came from.
  21. early and awful
    Woman Vastly Overestimates Importance of Husband’s VoteShe ran him over with her car.
  22. early and awful
    Joe Scarborough Buys His Way Out of Mustache BetHe’s giving lots of money to a good cause, but still.
  23. early and awful
    People of Ohio: Mitt Romney Thinks You’re All IdiotsHis new ad on the auto bailout is only successful if you are as uninformed and gullible as children. 
  24. early and awful
    Senate Candidate Tells Male Debate Moderator He’s ‘Prettier’ Than Candy CrowleyNot the way to win over women, buddy.
  25. early and awful
    Repubs Pulling Money Out of Ryan Soup KitchenThat seems fair.
  26. early and awful
    Issa to Investigate Unemployment Rate“It is not as exact science as it needs to be.”
  27. early and awful
    Illiterate Racist Shares ThoughtsSomeone spray-painted “Muslim Lier” on a banner at Obama’s Iowa headquarters.
  28. early and awful
    Political Opportunism of the DayA New Jersey politician wants to ban the NFL’s hapless replacement refs from the state.
  29. early and awful
    Orrin Hatch Probably Going to Die Soon, Says OpponentYikes.
  30. early and awful
    Jon Kyl Has Just the Rape Analogy for This Cairo Embassy MessWhyyyyyyyyy?
  31. early and awful
    Juxtaposition of the DayWhat a difference a few hours make.
  32. early and awful
    Fox News Misleads on Unemployment Rate“Other than Fox News, where are you really seeing those statistics?” asks one proud Fox contributor.
  33. early and awful
    Some Voters Worried About All Those Wives Mitt Romney Probably HasMore proof that people just believe what they want to believe.
  34. early and awful
    Mitt Romney Bars Interviewer From Asking About the NewsNo questions about “abortion or Todd Akin.”
  35. early and awful
    The George W. Bush Presidential Museum Will Literally Play 9/11 on LoopThere’s also also a virtual “training simulator” to recreate his biggest mistakes.
  36. early and awful
    Megadeth Front Man Shares Despicable Conspiracy Theory About President ObamaA new low in baseless attacks on Obama.
  37. early and awful
    Large Swath of New York City Frowns Upon Atheist PoliticiansThirty percent of New York City adults say they’d be less likely to vote for an atheist politician. 
  38. early and awful
    The Unnecessary Lies of the Obama and Romney CampaignsAren’t there enough real facts to work with? 
  39. early and awful
    Man Hits Girlfriend Over Mitt Romney PhotoSad.
  40. early and awful
    Joe Walsh Concedes Opponent Is a HeroStill would prefer it if she would shut up about it. 
  41. early and awful
    Illinois Congressman Joe Walsh Tired of Hearing About Opponent’s War ServiceUgh, enough already.
  42. early and awful
    Bush’s Severed Head Appears in Game of ThronesNot buying it. 
  43. early and awful
    Marion Barry Offers Heartfelt Apology for Using an Ethnic Slur“I misspoke: I should have said, Polish.”
  44. early and awful
    Marion Barry Makes New Racial Gaffe While Apologizing for Old Racial GaffeThis time, it was about Polish people.
  45. early and awful
    Some People Were Impressed by Mitt Romney’s High-School CrueltyOne percent of America, to be precise.
  46. early and awful
    Ted Nugent Cleared by Secret ServiceThe end.
  47. early and awful
    This Conversation Between Ted Nugent and Dana Loesch Will Melt Your Brain“I’m about positive change.”
  48. early and awful
    In Context, Allen West’s Communist Remark Still Doesn’t Make Any SenseHere’s what he was talking about.
  49. early and awful
    Why Allen West Will Never Be Romney’s V.P.Or, “Why Allen West Will Never Be Anybody’s V.P.”
  50. early and awful
    For Reasons Unclear, the Huntsman Daughters Recorded a ‘SexyBack’ ParodyIt is horrendous.
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