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Early And Awful

  1. early and awful
    Wilbur Ross Jokes Syria Strike Was ‘After-Dinner Entertainment’ at Mar-a-LagoThe Commerce secretary added that it “didn’t cost the president anything,” as the crowd chuckled.
    By Margaret Hartmann
  2. early and awful
    GOP Senator’s Debate Tactic: Jab War Hero Over Ethnicity and Military Heritage“I forgot your parents came all the way from Thailand to serve George Washington.”
    By Margaret Hartmann
  3. early and awful
    Congressman Explains Charlotte Protesters Just ‘Hate White People’Meanwhile, Mike Pence thinks we should all set aside “this talk about institutional racism and institutional bias.”
    By Margaret Hartmann
  4. early and awful
    Governor LePage: Disease-Riddled Asylum Seekers Are Maine’s ‘Biggest Problem’Though some of their illnesses aren’t real.
    By Margaret Hartmann
  5. early and awful
    Paul LePage Claims Racist Remarks Were Part of a Clever StrategyShocker: He was talking about black drug dealers the whole time!
    By Margaret Hartmann
  6. early and awful
    LePage Blames Maine’s Heroin Woes on ‘D-Money’“I was going impromptu and my brain didn’t catch up to my mouth.”
    By Jonah Shepp and Jaime Fuller
  7. horrible racists
    CSPAN Caller Lets It Slip That Republicans ‘Hate That N*gger Obama’The problem with live political television.
    By Joe Coscarelli
  8. early and awful
    Maine Governor Paul LePage Explains Obama Hates White PeopleBut he’s learned his lesson about calling people Nazis.
    By Margaret Hartmann
  9. early and awful
    Bob Filner Hits Rock Bottom [Updated]He’s accused of making inappropriate sexual advances on a great-grandmother.
    By Dan Amira
  10. early and awful
    Jesse Jackson Jr. Gets 30 Months in PrisonHe “smiled slightly when he received his punishment.”
    By Dan Amira
  11. early and awful
    Missouri Officials Now Realize Obama Rodeo Clown Was in Poor TasteOffering to show “Obama run down by a bull” doesn’t shout all-American fun.
    By Margaret Hartmann
  12. the internet
    Another Politician’s Teenage Son Used Twitter to Offend EveryoneCongressman Joe Heck apologized.
    By Joe Coscarelli
  13. early and awful
    Senator Jeff Flake’s Son Completes the Bigotry TrifectaGays, Jews, and black people. 
    By Dan Amira
  14. early and awful
    Rumsfeld ‘Can’t Tell’ If Obama ‘Switched Sides’Nice, real nice. 
    By Dan Amira
  15. early and awful
    Jeff Duncan: Gun Database Could Lead to GenocideSomebody has finally made the connection between gun control and Rwanda. 
    By Dan Amira
  16. early and awful
    Bush, Clinton Chef Defends Presidential Tasters“Let’s not characterize this as some kind of Medieval court food taster.”
    By Dan Amira
  17. early and awful
    First Campaign Ad by Stephen Colbert’s Sister Is Not Funny at AllBooo, be funny.
    By Dan Amira
  18. early and awful
    Psy Rapped About Killing American Soldiers We don’t feel like doing the horse dance anymore.
    By Dan Amira
  19. early and awful
    Marco Rubio’s Deceptively Pro-Science Answer on the Age of the Earth“I’m not a scientist, man.”
    By Dan Amira
  20. early and awful
    Dozens of Mysteriously Nonwhite People Voted in Maine Last WeekThe outgoing GOP chairman will investigate where these so-called “black people” came from.
    By Dan Amira
  21. early and awful
    Woman Vastly Overestimates Importance of Husband’s VoteShe ran him over with her car.
    By Dan Amira
  22. early and awful
    Joe Scarborough Buys His Way Out of Mustache BetHe’s giving lots of money to a good cause, but still.
    By Dan Amira
  23. early and awful
    People of Ohio: Mitt Romney Thinks You’re All IdiotsHis new ad on the auto bailout is only successful if you are as uninformed and gullible as children. 
    By Dan Amira
  24. early and awful
    Senate Candidate Tells Male Debate Moderator He’s ‘Prettier’ Than Candy CrowleyNot the way to win over women, buddy.
    By Dan Amira
  25. early and awful
    Repubs Pulling Money Out of Ryan Soup KitchenThat seems fair.
    By Dan Amira
  26. early and awful
    Issa to Investigate Unemployment Rate“It is not as exact science as it needs to be.”
    By Dan Amira
  27. early and awful
    Illiterate Racist Shares ThoughtsSomeone spray-painted “Muslim Lier” on a banner at Obama’s Iowa headquarters.
    By Dan Amira
  28. early and awful
    Political Opportunism of the DayA New Jersey politician wants to ban the NFL’s hapless replacement refs from the state.
    By Dan Amira
  29. early and awful
    Orrin Hatch Probably Going to Die Soon, Says OpponentYikes.
    By Dan Amira
  30. early and awful
    Jon Kyl Has Just the Rape Analogy for This Cairo Embassy MessWhyyyyyyyyy?
    By Joe Coscarelli
  31. early and awful
    Juxtaposition of the DayWhat a difference a few hours make.
    By Dan Amira
  32. early and awful
    Fox News Misleads on Unemployment Rate“Other than Fox News, where are you really seeing those statistics?” asks one proud Fox contributor.
    By Dan Amira
  33. early and awful
    Some Voters Worried About All Those Wives Mitt Romney Probably HasMore proof that people just believe what they want to believe.
    By Dan Amira
  34. early and awful
    Mitt Romney Bars Interviewer From Asking About the NewsNo questions about “abortion or Todd Akin.”
    By Dan Amira
  35. early and awful
    The George W. Bush Presidential Museum Will Literally Play 9/11 on LoopThere’s also also a virtual “training simulator” to recreate his biggest mistakes.
    By Joe Coscarelli
  36. early and awful
    Megadeth Front Man Shares Despicable Conspiracy Theory About President ObamaA new low in baseless attacks on Obama.
    By Margaret Hartmann
  37. early and awful
    Large Swath of New York City Frowns Upon Atheist PoliticiansThirty percent of New York City adults say they’d be less likely to vote for an atheist politician. 
    By Dan Amira
  38. early and awful
    The Unnecessary Lies of the Obama and Romney CampaignsAren’t there enough real facts to work with? 
    By Dan Amira
  39. early and awful
    Man Hits Girlfriend Over Mitt Romney PhotoSad.
    By Dan Amira
  40. early and awful
    Joe Walsh Concedes Opponent Is a HeroStill would prefer it if she would shut up about it. 
    By Dan Amira
  41. early and awful
    Illinois Congressman Joe Walsh Tired of Hearing About Opponent’s War ServiceUgh, enough already.
    By Dan Amira
  42. early and awful
    Bush’s Severed Head Appears in Game of ThronesNot buying it. 
    By Dan Amira
  43. early and awful
    Marion Barry Offers Heartfelt Apology for Using an Ethnic Slur“I misspoke: I should have said, Polish.”
    By Dan Amira
  44. early and awful
    Marion Barry Makes New Racial Gaffe While Apologizing for Old Racial GaffeThis time, it was about Polish people.
    By Dan Amira
  45. early and awful
    Some People Were Impressed by Mitt Romney’s High-School CrueltyOne percent of America, to be precise.
    By Dan Amira
  46. early and awful
    Ted Nugent Cleared by Secret ServiceThe end.
    By Dan Amira
  47. early and awful
    This Conversation Between Ted Nugent and Dana Loesch Will Melt Your Brain“I’m about positive change.”
    By Dan Amira
  48. early and awful
    In Context, Allen West’s Communist Remark Still Doesn’t Make Any SenseHere’s what he was talking about.
    By Dan Amira
  49. early and awful
    Why Allen West Will Never Be Romney’s V.P.Or, “Why Allen West Will Never Be Anybody’s V.P.”
    By Dan Amira
  50. early and awful
    For Reasons Unclear, the Huntsman Daughters Recorded a ‘SexyBack’ ParodyIt is horrendous.
    By Dan Amira
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