Bruce Willis Acts Like Liz Smith Was Born YesterdayBruce Willis says he’s dating a model because she’s pretty on the inside. Plus, Kirsten Dunst and Ryan Gosling go on a date, as do Silda and Eliot Spitzer, in our daily roundup of the juiciest bits from New York gossip columns.
Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon Set a Bad ExampleJake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon texted on their BlackBerrys during the matinee show of August: Osage County before sneaking out at intermission. Criminal! Judith Regan is now suing the lawyers who are suing her for alleged unpaid fees. Anna Wintour sat courtside at the Knicks-Cavs game last night courtesy of LeBron James (she’s putting him on the cover of Vogue’s shape issue with Gisele in April). Jeremy Piven texted two separate models he met in New York to come meet him at the Mercer Hotel, though he didn’t know at the time that they knew each other. The Champagne Marilyn Monroe drank during her famous 1962 shoot was spiked with either drugs or vodka.
in other news
Plaxico Burress to Score a Book DealThe first of the post–Super Bowl book proposals is being shopped around by agents, on behalf of Plaxico Burress. Burress, as if you could forget, is the receiver who caught Eli Manning’s winning touchdown pass in the end zone of this year’s big game, leading the Giants to victory. Though it will be about his whole life, the tome will probably focus on this season and the Super Bowl. Which basically means, he’s selling it based on his big catch. Most sports books have limited appeal, according to the Post’s Keith Kelly, so sources expect Plaxico’s deal to be in the mid–six figures. “To do a Super Bowl book, you have to have it out right away,” one publisher (who said no to it while the price was still $100,000) told Kelly. Agents expect the bidding on the proposal to be done today. We love Plaxico, but we have to say, if there’s going to be a book about a catch from this Super Bowl, we’d rather see one about David Tyree’s amazing swanlike snatch after Eli Manning made that amazing escape from the Patriots’ defensive line. We can just see the dramatic, airborne cover image now. And the title! The Helmet Catch; Or, How I Saved the Giants in the Super Bowl Shortly Before Landing WWF Style on Rodney Harrison’s Knee.
His Story [NYP]
Eli Manning’s Little Town Blues Have Melted AwayEli Manning and Yogi Berra sang “New York, New York” together at Rao’s. Male madam David Forest says Marc Jacobs used to employ his services. Mariah Carey shot a video on the rooftop of Lenny Kravitz’s Crosby Street apartment. Mayor Bloomberg celebrated his 65th birthday with Steven Ratner and others at Michael’s. R.E.M. front man Michel Stipe got into a go-cart accident two weeks ago but is fine now. Blackstone Group co-founder Pete Peterson sold his River House digs to financier Jeffrey Leeds for $10 million.
the sports section
Confetti and Courage: Video From Today’s Giants ParadeIf you missed some of the footage of the Giants’ victory parade today on television, New York’s Tim Murphy went on location to the Canyon of Heroes (a.k.a. lower Broadway in Manhattan) to gather some of the overwhelming fan joy into one short video. Click above to watch as children admit to playing hooky and streaking in celebration, Tim admits to not knowing who Osi Umenyiora is, and some extremely excited people admitted that, yes, Eli Manning is officially a New Yorker.
Giants’ Victory Parade [NYM Video]
the sports section
Happy Giant Monday
Last night, only moments after the Patriots stuttered out their last plays in Super Bowl XLII, the shouts began. From our window facing East 14th Street, we started to hear chants of “Eli! Eli! Eli!” A communal roar echoed out of bars like the Blarney Cove, Otto’s Shrunken Head, and Mona’s. A few minutes later crowds poured out of Stuyvesant Town and Alphabet City, walking down the street towards the First Avenue L stop. They whooped, they chanted — we even saw one guy dive tackle a friend into the (hard-looking) sidewalk, screaming “PLAXICO!”
This morning, when we woke up, we picked up the Daily News. Not being from New York originally, we’ve never really understood the rationale behind the “commemorative covers” that the tabloids put out sometimes. Do people in the city really have walls covered with Daily News and Post covers? But when we unfolded the paper to check out the giant photo of Eli Manning clutching the trophy, with a yell of triumph on his face, we thought to ourselves: “Huh. We’d better save this one.”
Anyway, if tomorrow is Super Tuesday, today has definitely got to be Giant Monday. Leave us some comments! We want to hear where you were last night when Plaxico Burress caught the touchdown pass with 35 seconds to go, and what you did when Manning escaped from the Patriots’ clutches to make that longshot pass to David Tyree. Oh, and which Super Bowl ad was your favorite, because ours was totally that Coke one with the Macy’s parade balloons
Related: Underdog: The Rise of Eli Manning
the sports section
Giants Win!In one of the biggest upsets in Super Bowl history, the New York Giants just toppled the undefeated New England Patriots, 17-14. The turning point of the low-scoring game was a set of dramatic moves by Giants quarterback Eli Manning in the late fourth quarter, culminating in a comeback touchdown pass to receiver Plaxico Burress with 35 seconds to go. In the closing ceremony, Manning was just named MVP.
If you’re still watching TV to get your post game recap, for the love of Eli, turn it off and go outside right now. That’s where the fun is!
Click here to read all of our in-love-from-afar Manning coverage.
Anderson Cooper and Ryan Seacrest: Messaging Buddies
In the above video, found for us so cleverly by Soup Cans, you can watch a (shakily filmed) segment of Kathy Griffin’s latest comedy routine. In this portion (click above to view), she reveals that while she was co-hosting a New Year’s Eve Times Square special with Cooper, he spent some time sending gossipy texts about her to none other than one of her favorite targets of ridicule, Ryan Seacrest. Apparently they are text buddies. Which means, and we’re just guessing here, that they’re probably IM buddies, too! So, because it’s Friday, we’ve gone and imagined up what we think is probably an extremely accurate imaginary IM conversation between CNN anchor Anderson Cooper and American Idol (and Super Bowl) host Ryan Seacrest:
HanginWithMrAnderson: DOoooooooood whasssup
OhSayCanYouSeacrest: whatchoo up to
HanginWithMrAnderson: nothin man getting psyched for the superbowl
OhSayCanYouSeacrest: hell yeah you watchin me?
HanginWithMrAnderson: don’t tell the old ball and chain but I laid $500 on the g-men
OhSayCanYouSeacrest: word go jints
OhSayCanYouSeacrest: tough to stop brady and moss tho
HanginWithMrAnderson: stopping moss won’t be a problem with that pass rush
new york fugging city
The Fug Girls: But Who Do You Take Home to Mama AFTER the Super Bowl?With Super Bowl Sunday looming, football pundits worldwide are typing their fingers to the bone predicting who will step up, who will choke, and which commercials will be the most buzz-worthy. Sure, football is a group sport and there’s no “I” — or “Eli” — in “team,” but we can’t help boiling down the big game to its most fascinating matchup: the budding legend versus the legacy kid. How do Tom Brady and Eli Manning stack up, and more important, which one looks better in spandex? Let us be your guides.
TABLOID APPEAL: Tom Brady has been all over the rags this year, thanks to his baby-mama drama with Bridget Moynahan and his ensuing photo-friendly relationship with Gisele. Whereas we only know from Wikipedia that Eli Manning is engaged; “Giants QB Really Digs College Sweetheart” probably won’t move any magazines unless he knocks her up with some baby joy. At Tom Brady’s house.
Advantage: Tom. Unless you prefer keeping your private life private, but where’s the fun there?
Jerry Stiller Forgot His Manties!Jerry Stiller said he had a senior moment when he exited the locker room at the Jewish Community Center on Amsterdam sans bathing suit. Peter Brant, who bought out his ex-wife’s half of Interview magazine last week, is pleased to have traded Ingrid Sischy for Glenn O’Brien. On Friday, Lindsay Lohan drank vodka at the Box and at the Beatrice Inn while partying with Stavros Niarchos and Brody Jenner before returning to the Four Seasons Hotel to spend the night with Niarchos. Eli Manning and fiancée Abby McGraw ate dinner at Il Mulino in the Village (he got a standing ovation when he left). At the Plumm, Tracy Morgan ordered two bottles of Champagne, ripped off his shirt and started dancing on the banquette, seemingly lost his credit card, found it in his pocket, and then asked a waitress if he could father her baby. Sacha Baron Cohen and Isla Fisher ate at Café Gray.
the sports section
Can Eli Manning Save the Stock Market?It’s another bum Monday on Wall Street, and market watchers are glumly certain that when the Fed meets on Wednesday, they’ll bow to pressure and offer another rate cut, which could have some nasty long-term effects on the economy. So maybe they should hold off until after the Super Bowl? After all, according to Super Bowl Stock Theory by legendary Times sports writer Leonard Koppett, the market is likely to surge if the Giants beat the Patriots. Koppett’s theory holds that if the January Super Bowl winner was in the NFL before it merged with the AFL in 1970, the market will rise. The Giants have been a part of the NFL since 1925; the Patriots joined the AFL in 1960. If the Patriots win, the theory holds, the market will drop. We have no idea why this is, but according to Business Week, the Super Bowl hypothesis has had a 75 percent success rate. Which means that if they win, the Giants will not only be saving New York’s sports record; they might save America, and by extension, the global economy, from a terrible recession! But, you know, no pressure or anything.
The Super Bowl Stock Indicator [Business Week]
What the Fed is considering at its meeting. [Reuters]
Related: Underdog [NYM]
the sports section
Eli Manning’s Nubile Agility Brings Up All of Andrea Peyser’s Old Feelings
Elisha Nelson Manning was a Seinfeld fan who walked around his high school quoting lines from Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey, the Daily News, which got ahold of his yearbook, tells us today. Which backs up our earlier point: Eli is way too geeky to score with a cheerleader, but it turns out he could have scored with a certain type of lady, like the Post’s Andrea Peyser, who writes an uncomfortably pornographic love letter to the quarterback in today’s Post. “I WANT me some Eli,” she writes. “When it comes to men, there is no competition. Eli Manning is New York’s new super stud — an ‘aw shucks, ma’am’ hottie with jug ears, an infectious grin, and immaculate breeding to go along with his fast hands and field smarts.” Fortunately, Peyser went to high school far away from, and about 45 years before, Manning, and thus was never able to sully him with her fast hands. But reading these two pieces in tandem, a brief vision of what might have happened if they had met in high school came, unbidden, into our brains…
the sports section
So What Have Tom and Eli Been Up to Lately?So the week is drawing to a close, and we’re just beginning the ten-day countdown to the Super Bowl. Sports fans are stocking up on beer and flat-screen TVs. Spouses and roommates of sports fans are watching Rachael Ray to see what they should cook next Sunday. And gay people, well, they’re starting to finally pick up on the fact that there’s something going on. But what have Giants quarterback Eli Manning and Patriots quarterback Tom Brady been doing? It would be a great insight into the interior mental workings of those two pivotal players to see how they are spending their final days before the contest. If only we knew.
Oh, just kidding. As if the press would let either of them out of their sight for a minute this time of year. We know exactly what they’ve been doing, and, indeed, it does tell us something about the two athletes.
• Tom Brady got rid of that scary orthopedic boot he was wearing earlier in the week, just in time to stay out late at downtown hot spot Butter and hang out with Gisele and her ex-boyfriend Leonardo DiCaprio. [Boston Herald]
the sports section
Eli Manning Wins One for the GeeksThe main story line going into the Giants-Packers NFC Championship Game at Lambeau Field revolved around Eli Manning: Had he really turned the corner during the final game of the regular season against the Patriots, or was his solid — even superlative — postseason play thus far merely a tease?Lost in all that was the fact that Manning’s opponent under center had also turned his own corner this year. After breaking the all-time interception record last year, Brett Favre led the Packers to their best season in years by finally learning how to not be a hero — that is, play within himself and resist the moon-shot interceptions that have plagued his whole career.
The ‘Post’ Has a Giant, Crazy CrushOkay. We love the Post. We really do. And not even just the ironic way we “loved” it yesterday when a homeless person in a wheelchair was masturbating on the subway while we were on our way to work, and his shoe fell off and nobody on the train even noticed. Like, we actually look forward to the Post every day. But we have to say, there’s something a little demented about its Giants coverage. At the beginning of the week, the tabloid devoted its entire cover to a Jessica Simpson look-alike, who they claim distracted Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo into losing Sunday’s game (Romo, for those of you lucky enough not to know, is dating the real Simpson and she’s been credited with giving him bad luck when she attends games). This one stunt wasn’t enough, though. They took the poor girl to New York this week on a victory tour, with an online video on Tuesday and another article on Wednesday.
And now today, the paper has another superstitious trick up its sleeve. After reports that the manager of a TV station in Green Bay, Wisconsin, will yank Eli Manning’s favorite show, Seinfeld, from the airwaves while the Giants are in town to play the Packers, the Post talked Jerry Seinfeld himself into sending the Giants quarterback a complete DVD set. Seinfeld said he’d also be “dispatching George Costanza to be the new traveling secretary for the Packers.” (Those of you who are fans of the show will get the reference.) It’s funny coverage, sure, but it’s just kind of getting lazy at this point. In fact, one of the “Giants fans” they quoted at the end of the article works for the Post. Come on, guys. Isn’t there a brilliant pun headline you could have come up with instead of all of this? Or maybe a Photoshopped picture of Tom Brady’s head on McLovin’s body?
YADDA YADDA YADDA [NYP]
Related Which Episode of ‘Seinfeld’ Should Eli Watch Before He Loses to the Packers? [Vulture]
Anonygossip Terrifies Hamptons!The society column in The Southampton Press is now anonymously written, and some East Enders are worried. Danielle Steel plans to write a novel based on her ex-husband’s boating incident in France, which left a French doctor dead. Sharon Stone is scheduled to emcee an AIDS benefit at the Dubai International Film Festival, despite the fact that the city has a bad track record on dealing with homosexuals and AIDS victims. Vanessa Minnillo may star in a reality show, though the Lohan knife pictures may be an issue. Peter Beard likes to take Polaroids of topless models. The Olsen twins sold pictures from their 21st-birthday party for $300,000. Paul McCartney performed a surprise show at the HighLine Ballroom with his “almost boy band.” Eli Manning dumped beer on teammate Shaun O’Hara at his 30th-birthday party.