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  1. stand clear of the closing doors
    MTA’s Late Notes Pose Little Threat to the Standard Tardiness ExcuseYou can still blame it on the train.
  2. James Clapper Comes Up With Latest Excuse for Lying to CongressHe just “didn’t think” about the program that collects phone metadata from everybody. 
  3. cicada plague
    Impending Cicada Plague a Great Excuse to Work From HomeBecause who’s to say you don’t have a deadly fear of cicadas?
  4. stand clear of the closing doors
    MTA Ruins Subway-Related Tardiness ExcuseBut there won’t actually be fewer delays.
  5. stand clear of the closing doors
    New Yorkers Had a Pretty Good Excuse for Being Late TodayThe MetroCard machines stopped working.
  6. excuses
    Rubio Cancels Appearances on The Daily Show and Focal PointSuspicious.
  7. billionaires they’re just like us
    When It Comes to His Bridge Game, Warren Buffett Can Be a Little Flaky“Tell them I have a business meeting.”
  8. science
    So, Actually, The World Might Not End in 2012Cancel your New Year’s plans.
  9. jury duty
    President Obama Skips Out on Jury DutySounds like more of the same.