Marion Cotillard’s Five-Step Plan for Destroying a Burgeoning Acting Career
Seemingly on her way to stardom after winning the Best Actress Oscar a week ago, Marion Cotillard has stumbled upon what just may be the most surefire way imaginable to instantly erase all American goodwill and devastate her box-office potential:
Step 1: Posit that 9/11 was a conspiracy designed to renovate the Twin Towers without having to pay for costly rewiring.
Step 2: After denigrating America’s greatest tragedy, question the validity of America’s greatest accomplishment: landing a man on the moon.
Step 3: Be French.
Step 4: When confronted with your conspiracy theories, claim they were taken out of context, but don’t disown them.
Step 5: In fact, remind America that it’s not the only one that makes movies and that you can simply film in other places.
Done. That’s all it takes to complete the Marion Cotillard “Five-Step Plan for Destroying a Burgeoning Acting Career.” It’s that easy, friends. —Dan Amira
Marion Cotillard ‘in shock’ over 9/11 row, but will not apologise [Times Online]
William Kristol Has the Gray Lady’s Knickers in a TwistMEDIA
• Both Times public editor Clark Hoyt and former Times conservative standby William Safire have panned Arthur “Pinch” Sulzberger’s decision to foist William Kristol on the editorial page. Among the other conservatives considered and passed over: Charles Krauthammer, Ross Douthat, Max Boot, and a bunch of other Weekly Standard stalwarts. But at least Judith Miller approves: “[I]t’s an appointment that’s a long time coming. The page needed balance.… [But] an unabashed neocon without remorse is unacceptable to Times people.… He’s not kosher in that sense.” [New Republic]
• New York Observer president Robert Sommer nailed his MSNBC interview: “We like to view our readers as some of the smartest, most insensitive — most… Some of the most brightest readers in the country and especially New York.” [NYO]
• David Blum goes through his fifth sex columnist in little more than a year, firing his latest hire at the New York Press after she stole questions from Dan Savage. Some might call that slutty! [NYO]
Britney, Not OkayDuring a recent photo shoot for OK!, Britney Spears fondled herself, peed in public, and walked away with $21,267 in clothing. Jay-Z is considering jumping from Island Def Jam to Columbia Records, perhaps because Jermaine Dupri was named president of Island’s urban music division. A lot of coarse language will have to be edited out of the roast of Flavor Flav when it’s aired on Comedy Central. Lauren Bacall can’t find herself a man who isn’t already married. Judi Giuliani hosted a fund-raising cocktail party at the Ritz-Carlton in Battery Park. Tom Brady and Donald Trump played golf at Trump’s club in Westchester. Scary Spice is starting to hint at “troubling aspects” of ex-husband Eddie Murphy’s lifestyle, but she hasn’t specific. An upcoming book on personal hygiene portrays the French as rather smelly.