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Fug Girls

  1. in other news
    Lindsay Lohan Finally Comes Down HomeLast October, our columnists the Fug Girls asked: “Can New York help save Lindsay Lohan?” Rumor had it at the time that she was going to be spending more time here, living out of her apartment at the tony Atelier building in Hell’s Kitchen. (Nick Lachey lives there, too!) But it turns out we had to wait longer than expected to find the answer to the Fugs’ question. Well, the wait is over! According to Ben Widdicombe’s “Gatecrasher” column, LiLo has moved into her apartment — and, appropriately, she threw a chem-free party with her younger sister, Ali, in the building’s rooftop party space to celebrate. How do we know this? Because Lindsay’s friends over at the Shadow PR agency were there and they took photos to send to the press. In the staged pics, she really looks swell! (And not in the nasty, “YOU’RE A HOG” way “Page Six” said she looked “swell” in a photo today.) Anyway, we know she’s not only staying at home and going to bed early: We’ve already spotted her out on the town. But we still think there’s hope that the Big Apple will help her and her tagalong sister keep their heads on straight. After all, it’s done wonders for the Olsen twins. Lohan’s Sibling Revelry [NYDN]
  2. new york fugging city
    No Golden Globes? Now Everything’s Fugged UpAs Sunday night approaches and the Golden Globes’ “Night of a Thousand Yawns” press conference looms large and boring, we’re still struggling to absorb the fact that the whole affair will be void of the traditional pageantry. Usually, this is the time when we’re stocking up on Ruffles and dip in preparation for an evening on the couch, wondering if Cate Blanchett will wear Armani (possibly) or something metallic (probably) and laying bets on whether Nicole Kidman’s inevitable Balenciaga will successfully make her look less waxen (doubtful). But this year, no ceremony means no fashion parade: no hits, no misses, no Marchesa. Fine, the sacrifice is all in the name of union labor and whatnot — but will no one think of the outfits?
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    The Fug Girls: A New TV Diet for Spring!With Hollywood’s warring writers and producers seemingly spending more time on PR statements than negotiations, it’s going to be a long, wretched winter for television fans. To patch scheduling holes, networks are rushing out “mid-season replacements” (everything from game shows to reality hours) — essentially, shows that are handy in a pinch, but weren’t good enough to debut in the fall. It’s the idea that if there’s no water at the oasis, we’ll just drink the sand; too bad for them we’re not so easily satisfied. However, we ARE easily bored without our stories, so if our holiday wish for a speedy, fair strike resolution is impossible, then it’ll take some crafty TV-diet substitutions to get us through the drought. Here are a few simple swaps: American Gladiators. The show that brought us such spandex-wrapped warriors as “Turbo” and “Zap” obviously occupies its own vital place in TV history. But it also ably replaces the absent 24. Think about it: Jack Bauer runs a lot. He sweats. He does things to America, for America. And he likes to hit people with blunt objects. If he’d had the wherewithal to do it all with a Speedo and a tennis-ball cannon, you’d never even know the difference.
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    The Fug Girls Can’t Hardly Wait to Put on a BikiniSomehow, despite having a hit show on CBS, Jennifer Love Hewitt has always been best known as that girl from adolescent sob-fest Party of Five. But thanks to the recent combination of a revealing black bikini and a paparazzo’s long lens, she’s now most famous for the contours of her thighs. While having our cellulite plastered all over the Internet would have us crying into a bottle of tequila, Hewitt’s reaction — a quiet, sane post to her blog — was both low-key and dignified. So we’re wondering two things: Who knew Jennifer Love Hewitt, of all people, would become our real-girl hero, and why was she the first person to hit the high road?
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    The Fug Girls: A Report Card for 2007’s Lawless LadiesWe were delighted by Tuesday’s news that Paris Hilton’s first major humanitarian effort involved encouraging people to stop making alcohol available to a roving gang of binge-drinking elephants in India. Given Paris’s countless inarticulate, heavy-lidded avowals that she would devote her post-prison life to charitable work, it seemed poetic than one of Hollywood’s most visible drunk party animals would gravitate to staging an intervention for actual drunk animals. Tragically, her publicist debunked the rumor, but it was too late: We were already reminiscing about the Summer of Legal Shenanigans, wondering how the midterm report cards of our favorite famous celebrity miscreants would look — and whether, as they promised, things are going to be different this time.
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    The Fug Girls: It’s a Halloween Roundup!Hollywood is already practically one big costume party, so it’s unsurprising that celebrities go nuts dressing up on Halloween — the one night of the year they can let their inherent terrible taste run wild. But don’t let our festive holiday eye-patches fool you. We are watching and judging, because in the celebrity world there’s no such thing as a free pass. After the jump, a look at who scored, and who merely whored…
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    The Fug Girls: Taking a Peek Inside Karl Lagerfeld’s Mind of SteelEven in an industry full of eccentrics, Chanel’s Karl Lagerfeld is an icon: those omnipresent shades, the man-jewelry, and, of course, the leather glove, which lends his style that special “ringmaster at a Michael Jackson–themed circus” feel. So when filmmaker Rodolphe Marconi touted his new documentary Lagerfeld Confidential as a profound peek behind The Kaiser’s sunglasses, we had to investigate — after all, this is the man who once told Elle, “It’s too easy to forgive. I love revenge.” What could be better than an hour and a half of that?
  8. new york fugging city
    Why the Fug Isn’t Anybody Paying Attention to Michael Jackson? With the Jolie-Pitts invading the city in their armored SUVs, we’re hardly surprised that other celebrity tidbits have been swept under the rug — clearly, by-the-hour updates of what Maddox is up to at the park would supersede news of what Tinsley has done with her hair, or which blast of hot air most recently burst from Trump’s blowhole. But for America’s First Family to eclipse even the dramatic return of deposed King of Pop Michael Jackson and his theatrically veiled kids … does that mean we’re ready to forgive and forget with America’s most (in)famous man-child? Or is it that no one can be bothered to care?
  9. new york fugging city
    The Fug Girls: Team K-Fed?If you’d suggested last summer — or even this past spring — that sleazy miscreant Kevin Federline would someday have the favor of both public opinion and his mother-in-law, we’d have smiled supportively and sent you to Promises. But as the ugly custody battle between Britney Spears and her infamous sperm donor rages on, with K-Fed’s lawyer now sending legal papers to Brit’s bodyguard and former assistant, the man who once accurately rapped that he’s “America’s Most Hated” has gone from poster boy for bottom-feeders to potential Father of the Year.
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    Fug Girls: Even the Tabloids Are Giving Up At first, we thought it was the summer heat making us numb and irritable. But Us Weekly’s recent “Hollywood’s Hot Dads” cover, focused on the hot-as-lemonade Jason Priestley, confirmed that what we’re actually suffering from is crippling gossip ennui. Even the tabloids are deathly bored of the current crop of celebrity shenanigans.
  11. new york fugging city
    Fug Girls Trend Report: Prison Is So Hot Right Now With Paris fresh out of the big house, Nicole heading to the joint, and Lindsay likely facing some slammer time, it’s beginning to look like prison is the new black. Forget worrying about what this says about the youth of America and its corresponding societal decay. What we want to know is what the bandwagon will look like when it leaves the station as this passion for incarceration becomes the next hot social and fashion fad. Step aside, cool hunters. After the jump, read the top-secret trend forecast companies pay top ducats for.
  12. new york fugging city
    The Fug Girls See the End-Times Coming Scanning the horizon for signs of the apocalypse, we don’t see any plague, pestilence, or marks of the beast. But is that Paris Hilton cuddling the Bible? Hollywood’s recent headlines point only to end-times. Take heed, and take cover. The signals are after the jump.
  13. new york fugging city
    The Fug Girls: We’ll Always Have Paris, Even When We Don’tWe’ve long suspected that the weak, clammy feeling in our bones was Paris fatigue and not wicked heatstroke. So it warmed our hearts when Us Weekly editrix Janice Min vowed that the July 9 issue of the celebrity weekly would be devoid of Ms. Hilton. What a beautiful, blessed social experiment: a world without Paris, as imagined by some of the people who helped create the monster in the first place. Could Us Weekly really be peddling such a Utopia? And if so, what would it look like?
  14. new york fugging city
    We’ll Always Have ParisThought we’d forgotten something? Oh, no. Not at all. We’re as excited as you are for tonight’s clash of titans: the Paris Hilton–Larry King interview. (A brief aside: Perhaps our favorite pairing of sentences to have ever appeared in an American newspaper comes from Larry King’s now-defunct USA Today column. “You’d have to go far to find a worse airport than New York’s LaGuardia,” he wrote on April 16, 2001. “Do I eat meat in Paris or London?” Indeed.) Who will be more nonsensically vacuous? Find out tonight when the Fug Girls live-blog the Thrillio in a Studio, starting at 9 p.m. Eastern. Right here at Daily Intel. Stay tuned.
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    The Fug Girls Are Posh Apologists It’s going to be hard to escape David Beckham this summer, especially when the lavishly coifed soccer god arrives in Los Angeles to play for the Galaxy. But for us, the main event isn’t Becks: It’s his wife, Posh (a.k.a. Victoria). When NBC announced it had slashed the promised summer reality series about the pair’s move from six full episodes to a one-hour blip of a special, and we heard that no one showed up to her DVB clothing launch at Saks last week, it almost crushed our spirit. Because we love Posh — every last overtanned, surly inch of her — and we have to wonder: Does no one understand her like we do?
  16. new york fugging city
    Whoopi, Paris Win Fug Girls’ Real-Life Daytime Emmys Friday’s Daytime Emmy Awards telecast will honor soap-opera actors for so artfully telling tales of babynapping, tainted face cream, faked deaths, and secret cancer. As a tribute to those invaluable contributions, we’d like to acknowledge some of their real-world counterparts, the hard-luck celebs starring in their own melodramas.
  17. new york fugging city
    The Fug Girls Crown the Next ‘It’ Party Girl With Paris Hilton summering in the slammer and Lindsay Lohan going cold turkey (again), America’s paparazzi, bartenders, and boy toys can breathe a sigh of relief. But it’ll be brief: With the tabloids’ two most popular subjects locked away, there’s a gaping hole atop the celebustarlet hierarchy, and Hollywood, like nature, abhors a vacuum. Who’s most likely to seize the “It” Party Girl crown?
  18. new york fugging city
    The Fug Girls: How to Hire a Celebrity Fashion Designer Desperate to join the ranks of retailers who’ve used celebrities for brand cachet, cheapie clothier Steve + Barry’s has decided to follow up its first attempt — Sarah Jessica Parker’s fashion line Bitten — by partnering with actress Amanda Bynes. Who? Exactly. Either Steve + Barry only watch Nickelodeon, or the founders just haven’t had a proper lesson in picking the proper celebrity to pimp their wares. Thank God we’re here with some sage advice (after the jump). You’re welcome, boys.
  19. new york fugging city
    The Fug Girls: Plaster of Paris Just when we thought we’d seen all there is to see of Paris Hilton, along comes the opportunity to pick through her internal organs. Brooklyn artist Daniel Edwards — the man who created the statue of Britney Spears giving birth naked on a bearskin rug — is trying to turn the pointless heiress into socially conscious modern art. Crazy? Yes. And also no.
  20. new york fugging city
    Fug Girls: ‘All My Children’ Goes Transgender But Loses Fashion SenseOn Friday, the ABC soap All My Children will conclude its groundbreaking, GLAAD-award-winning six-month story of Zarf — a male rocker who came to terms with his inner woman, and started living and dressing as Zoe. Here was a unique opportunity: Fabulous clothes and progressive gender politics. Unfortunately, the wardrobe department blew it, and Zoe’s frumpy outfits caused the storyline to trip and tumble on chunky-heeled pumps.
  21. show and talk
    Meanwhile, Back at Bryant Park…While you’re huddling for warmth under your desk, our sister blog, Show & Talk, is braving the tents at Fashion Week. Here’s what’s going on. There’s dirt: • Jay McCarroll unloaded both barrels on Tim Gunn. • We tracked down why Marc Jacobs shows are always late. • Model May Andersen explained why anorexic women are ruining it for the naturally skinny ones. • And what does a straight man do at Fashion Week? John Legend knows.
  22. new york fugging city
    The Fug Girls Play Bookie, Make ‘Project Runway’ OddsWe’re not really betting women — well, except for all those days at the track, and those weekends in Vegas, and that football pool. Oh! And March Madness. Okay, so we are really betting women. With the finale of Project Runway mere hours away, here’s a highly unreliable, knee-jerk handicapping of the four designers left. Our incredibly unscientific odds-making methods include weighing the snippets of finished outfits and works-in-progress that we saw in last week’s episode; combing through the photo galleries of Laura, Michael, Jeffrey, and Uli’s respective runway shows; and using our finely honed psychic abilities to read Michael Kors’s mind. (Oh, he’s not going to send us any dresses, but he does like your hair like that. So good job, you). So what odds are we giving?
  23. new york fugging city
    The Fug Girls Watch the ‘Project Runway’ FinaleThe Fug Girls are some of our favorite fashion experts — you may remember their splendid snarksmanship from nymag.com’s Fashion Week coverage — so we asked them to weigh in on the Project Runway finale. We now present the first in a two-part series. For the first half-hour of part one of the Project Runway finale, we were just twiddling our thumbs waiting for all the finger-pointing to start. Sure, seeing Michael Knight’s dad leading a prayer circle was nice, and we never get tired of five unruly Laura Bennett spawns creating havoc in her house while she cleans up turtle poop in enviably glam dresses and heels. And though we were interested in the clothes — would Uli Herzner show up with twelve identical sundresses in mildly different splashy prints? Might Jeffrey Sebelia arrive wearing a tee reading “Save Angela’s Mom”? — what we really wanted to see was the big drama everyone knew was coming: Laura accusing Jeffrey of cheating. And we had to wait almost 40 minutes for that.