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Displaying all articles tagged:

Geniuses

  1. satire
    Don’t Fall for Trump’s Latest DistractionLeaving the White House in disgrace is his most cunning diversion yet.
    By Benjamin Hart
  2. brain food
    NYC Is Home to More MacArthur Geniuses Than Michelin 3-Star RestaurantsWe’re hoping Nicole Eisenman can now more easily get a table at Per Se.
    By Nathan Pemberton
  3. geniuses
    Long Island High-Schooler Gets Into All 8 IviesThe Nigeria native is now the envy of teens everywhere.
    By Jessica Roy
  4. daily lintel
    Manhattan Man Makes $20,580 Profit Flipping a Jeremy Lin Basketball CardLinflation!
    By Dan Amira
  5. geniuses
    2011 MacArthur ‘Genius’ Grant Recipients AnnouncedYours is probably just caught in the spam filter.
    By Caroline Bankoff
  6. stoners
    Pothead Arrested for Asking a Perfectly Reasonable Question“I was just growing some marijuana, and I was just wondering how much trouble you can get in for one plant.”
    By Jessica Pressler
  7. bogus
    Hedge-Fund Executive Explores Other Growth OpportunitiesAn executive at a Connecticut hedge fund is arrested for cultivating a huge amount of pot.
    By Jessica Pressler
  8. geniuses
    Introducing the LIRR ‘Gap Rap’Dr. John Clarke drops another hit.
    By Chris Rovzar
  9. Paolo Pellegrini: Duh, of Course ACA Knew We Were Planning to Short AbacusA deposition from the former Paulson and Company employee contradicts the government’s case against Goldman Sachs.
    By Jessica Pressler
  10. Money Manager’s Death-Faking Flight Was Totally Awesome, Exhilarating“It felt like my face was just going to explode,” says accused Ponzi-schemer Marcus Schrenker.
    By Jessica Pressler
  11. white women with money
    Bank of America’s Lisa Carnoy Uses Mom Skills in the BoardroomThe executive at Bank of America recently engineered a huge deal to sell $19 billion worth of shares in the bank. How?
    By Jessica Pressler
  12. geniuses
    Diane and Jodie Fanelli’s Biggest Assets Are Their MindsA pair of model/real-estate entrepreneurs with grand plans.
    By Jessica Pressler
  13. the wisdom of socialites
    What Evelyn Lauder and Elizabeth Hurley Talk About at LunchLadies who lunch don’t just wear pearls, they distribute pearls. Of WISDOM.
    By Jessica Pressler
  14. ballsy crime
    Buy Sam Israel’s Getaway WheelsAnother piece of financial-fraud history is yours for the taking.
    By Jessica Pressler
  15. italian men with money
    Hedge-Fund Manager Paolo Pellegrini Is a Jazz Lover With ‘Entry-level Supercars’John Paulson’s former right-hand man is charming in a Hannibal Lecter kind of way.
    By Jessica Pressler
  16. the lindsay protests too much
    Lindsay Lohan Denies Rumor No One Has Heard Yet“Hahahaha my publicist just called me & said she heard I was in a psych ward!!!! Hahaha WHAT IS WRONG with people????”
    By Jessica Pressler
  17. panic-demics
    Long Island Doctor’s Swine-Flu Rap Unexpectedly Awesome“Stop the bedlam,” the good doctor rhymes. “If you think you’re infected, seek attention.”
    By Jessica Pressler
  18. geniuses
    Paul Krugman Is Music to Our EarsA plea for help from Nobel Prize–winning economist Paul Krugman, in song.
    By Jessica Pressler
  19. geniuses
    Russian ‘Scholar’ Needs to Lay Off the VodkaPredicts collapse of the United States in 2010, return of Alaska to Russia.
    By Dan Amira
  20. geniuses
    Paul Krugman Challenged to Nerdiest Bet EverHarvard economist Greg Mankiw wants Krugman to put some of that sweet Nobel Prize money on the line.
    By Dan Amira
  21. ‘Kidney Wife’ TriumphsA judge rules the kidney her ex-husband gave her was a gift.
    By Jessica Pressler
  22. bright ideas
    How Cool Would a Microsoft Store Be in New York?About as cool as we would imagine.
    By Jon Methven
  23. geniuses
    Flying Financier Marcus Schrenker’s Wife Was ‘Shocked’ He Turned Out to Be a WackjobThe wife of disgraced financier Marcus Schrenker went on the ‘Today’ show this morning to clear her name.
    By Jessica Pressler
  24. the greatest depression
    John Meriwether, the Wile E. Coyote of Hedge FundsWe thought the Long-Term Capital Management founder had blown up for good, but now he’s running around with a new stick of dynamite.
    By Hugo Lindgren
  25. geniuses
    When Judd Apatow Humor Goes Bad’You’re gay.’ ‘Really? You’re served.’
    By Jessica Pressler
  26. geniuses
    Awesome: Marcus Schrenker Pleads Not GuiltyLet’s review the evidence.
    By Jessica Pressler
  27. geniuses
    Marcus Schrenker Officially the Worst Criminal Mastermind EverThe runaway hedge-funder left behind several awesome clues to his whereabouts.
    By Jessica Pressler
  28. geniuses
    Con Ed Guy Used Effin’ Shakedown Money to Pay Effin’ Daughters’ Effin’ TuitionIn effin’ hundreds!
    By Jessica Pressler
  29. geniuses
    Man Stunned to Be Punished for Attempting Illegal Jump Off Empire State Building’He expressed surprise and disappointment at the verdict.’
    By Tim Murphy
  30. geniuses
    ‘Pretty Girls Are Like Cars That Need a Lot of Oil’The 9-year-old author of ‘How to Talk to Girls’ offers timeless advice.
    By Jessica Pressler
  31. geniuses
    What Do Socialites Think About Barack Obama Winning the Election?What. Aren’t you DYING to know what Lydia Hearst, Steve Lewis, and Devorah Rose have to say?
    By Jessica Pressler
  32. geniuses
    Mon Dieu! Cocky Hermès Heir Arrested for Drunkenness, Crotch-GrabbingHermès fashion-house heir Mathias Guerrand-Hermès got into a soupçon of trouble on an Air France flight to JFK last night. Which goes to show that you should really never fly commercial.
    By Mark Fass
  33. geniuses
    Paul Krugman Wins Nobel Prize for EconomicsThe ‘Times’ columnist wins laurels for his work on international trade and economic geography.
    By Chris Rovzar
  34. geniuses
    Judge Dismisses Hedge-Fund Hottie’s Lawsuit Against DiddyA young hedge-funder’s argument that she didn’t know she’d be photographed when she wore pasties to P. Diddy’s White Party did not fly with a savvy judge.
    By Jessica Pressler
  35. geniuses
    Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson Reflect on the Anniversary of 9/11No, really.
    By Jessica Pressler
  36. geniuses
    A Cock and Bull StoryA man is suing Johnny Utah’s after being thrown from their mechanical bull.
    By Jessica Pressler
  37. geniuses
    ‘Social Heights,’ Starring Kristian Laliberte and Devorah Rose, Will Make It to RealityBehold the cast of a show that wants to be ‘The Hills’ in Manhattan, except older.
    By Chris Rovzar
  38. the sports section
    Where Were You When Michael Phelps Won His Eighth Gold Medal?We know you were drunk. But please tell us you still managed to find the remote.
    By Chris Rovzar
  39. white men without money
    Judge Orders Samuel Israel to Hand Over His ToysDeems them a distraction.
  40. in other news
    Did CBS and Katie Couric Conspire to Make McCain Look Better?The liberal blogosphere is aflame after a gaffe from McCain is edited out of a CBS broadcast.
  41. in other news
    How to Succeed in the Offensive-T-shirt Business by Really, Really TryingThe T-shirt designer who brought us ‘Jews Against Obama”s five-step plan for achieving microfame.
  42. in other news
    Lawyers Trot Out ‘Uncle Leo Defense’ for Thieving Saks Saleswoman“She’s old! She’s confused! She didn’t know what she was doing would net her a million dollars!”
  43. in other news
    Last-Minute Settlement in Seth Tobias Case“No one wins and no one loses,” in case of hedge-fund drowning, says attorney.
  44. in other news
    NYC Waterfall Gets Turned On!Late last night, a tipster spotted a test run of the waterfall on Pier 35 and snapped a picture. Our intial thoughts: So wet! So artsy!
  45. in other news
    Meaning of Ashley Alexandra Dupré’s Tattoo Revealed!Scholars and journalists put their noses to the grindstone, and tutel-y deciphered the prostitute’s belly tattoo.
  46. in other news
    Spin-Class Shouter Will Not Be SilencedStuart Sugarman continues his fight against “spin rage.”
  47. in other news
    Ashley Alexandra Dupré’s Mom a Total MILFThe woman who mothered Eliot Spitzer hooker Ashley Dupré blows our minds.
  48. in other news
    Vegan Cupcakes Dishonored by Brooklyn ResidentsArtist Jillian May learned an important lesson when she set a tray of vegan cupcakes out on the street in Brooklyn.
  49. it just happened
    Another Man Is Climbing the New York Times BuildingSeriously. This is happening right now.
  50. it just happened
    There’s a Longhair on the Times Building!A man scaled the Times building, all 52 stories. Arthur Ochs Sulzberger Jr. declined to comment, but it was really fun for everyone else.
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