Judge Takes Away Jeffrey Epstein’s Freedom, PornThe billionaire moneyman will go into lockup for eighteen months. But thanks to judge Deborah Dale Pucillo, his subsequent home confinement will have its own special torture.
Can’t We Just Blame Everyone?
• With Bloomberg’s congestion-pricing plan dead, the finger-pointing begins in earnest. Mayor Mike decries Albany’s lack of “guts” while state officials accuse the mayor of springing a fully formed proposal on them at the last possible moment. [NYT]
20-person poll
Bush Commutes Libby’s Sentence, New Yorkers Shrug
The Times is indignant, Gawker is indignant — hell, we’re even feeling a little indignant — that President Bush commuted convicted perjurer Scooter Libby’s 30-month prison sentence yesterday afternoon. “I respect the jury’s verdict,” Bush said yesterday. He continued: “But I have concluded that the prison sentence given to Mr. Libby is excessive,” which is basically the opposite of respecting the verdict. (He also said back in 2003, when the Plame leak first came to light, that “if there is a leak out of my administration and if the person has violated the law, the person will be taken care of.” Just not too harshly.) But we wondered: Are average New Yorkers indignant, too? A quick 20-person poll later — our interns asked twenty passersby in front of the office on Madison Avenue — it seems they’re not, or at least not as much as we’d hoped. Damn. Questions and tallies after the jump.
intel
Lily Allen Knew She Was Going to Be Arrested
Our favorite blog-happy pop star, Lily Allen, was arrested last week — but she knew it was coming. “I’m about to be arrested,” she told us when we spent a day with her in New York last month, “just as soon as I get back to England.” She wasn’t coy about what she’d done. “I punched a paparazzi in the face,” she said. “There were 70 of them surrounding me. And I left the country the next day. They’re saying I’m going to be arrested as soon as I get back.” This was the same day Paris Hilton was sent back to prison after briefly being released for unspecified health reasons. “I could be Paris Hilton soon enough,” Allen said as she watched the scene play out on CNN from the Heatherette offices. “Oh, my God, her life is so fucking insane,” Allen groaned. “She doesn’t even do anything. I can’t wait until Lindsay Lohan goes to jail. ‘Boo hoo. I’m going to jail.’ Good. Does that mean you’ll stop showing me your pussy now?” Allen clearly thinks herself tougher than those two Yanks. “I bet English jails are nastier than American ones,” she said with a hint of pride. We’re not sure that they are. —Jada Yuan
photo op
Free at Last! Free at Last!
Mothers, lock up your Greek shipping heirs and handbag dogs: Paris Hilton walked out of Century Regional Detention Facility in Los Angeles at 12:15 a.m. Pacific time this morning. She was greeted by throngs of media, throngs of fans (seriously), and her mother. She’d spent three weeks in jail, and, if we may say, we think it did her wonders: This is perhaps the most normal and human we’ve ever seen her looking. Hott.
Paris Hilton Is Released From Jail [AP via NYT]
it just happened
Braunstein Gets Twenty Years to LifeAnd now fashion-mag offices can return to the relaxed, carefree, nurturing workplaces they used to be for women before this guy was on the loose.
Braunstein Sentenced to 20 Years to Life in Prison for ‘05 Assault [NY1]
the morning line
Is This the End of Braunstein?
• Faux firefighter Peter Braunstein will be sentenced today at noon, and our short citywide nightmare shall be over. Oh, jeez, will he write a book in jail? Clemency! [amNY]
• The Matos-vs.-McGreevey matter keeps getting more colorful. Now Dina Matos is claiming her ex-husband is sabotaging not just her book sales but her charity work as well. Fellow fund-raisers snip that she’s “taken her eye off the ball.” [NYP]
• The New York State Restaurant Association is suing, mostly on behalf of fast-food franchises like McDonald’s and Burger King, for the right not to disclose calorie count on the menus. They’re crying Big Government. [Crain’s NY]
• City Comptroller William Thompson is about to become housing activists’ darling: He thinks the recent property-tax cut should trigger a rent freeze in stabilized apartments. [NYDN]
• And Eliot Spitzer is apparently ruining Albany’s nightlife. Not through regulation, mind you; it’s just that his staffers are more coffee-shop people than bar people. Figures. [NYT]
new york fugging city
The Fug Girls: Paris Hilton’s Prison Diary Things just have a habit of springing open around Paris Hilton, but this time, it wasn’t her legs: The haughty heiress walked out of her prison cell early this morning after serving only five days of her already-reduced 23-day sentence. The Big House was causing her mental distress, she claims, so Paris will instead return to her own big house and wear a kicky anklet for the next 40 days.
So what really happened? Until her hyped prison diary is somehow released, nobody will know which is why we are so fortunate to have uncovered some exclusive excerpts.