Lauren Bacall: Canine Before ComfortNothing gets between Lauren Bacall and her dog. The legendary Big Sleep star is about to set off on an epic voyage to reach Norway, where she’ll be filming the indie flick Wide Blue Yonder. On the way, she’ll have to stop and do a costume fitting in England, where it’s illegal to fly in with a pooch. Rather than be separated from her 5.5-pound papillon, Sophie, she’ll fly to Paris, and then drive to Calais on the northern coast (the Eurostar train prohibits pets, too). There, at U.K. Customs, poor Sophie will be examined. “It’s a nightmare, just a long nightmare,” Bacall griped to Intel as she was packing in her Dakota apartment. After the exam, they board a boat. “We have to be in the car on the ferry and not get out of the car until we arrive in Folkestone, in England,” she said. “I’m not quite sure how I’m getting to Norway yet, but I do know the border patrol has to be notified 48 hours before you arrive. The whole scene is so ridiculous!” Yes, yes, it is. —Geoffrey Gray
Britney, Not OkayDuring a recent photo shoot for OK!, Britney Spears fondled herself, peed in public, and walked away with $21,267 in clothing. Jay-Z is considering jumping from Island Def Jam to Columbia Records, perhaps because Jermaine Dupri was named president of Island’s urban music division. A lot of coarse language will have to be edited out of the roast of Flavor Flav when it’s aired on Comedy Central. Lauren Bacall can’t find herself a man who isn’t already married. Judi Giuliani hosted a fund-raising cocktail party at the Ritz-Carlton in Battery Park. Tom Brady and Donald Trump played golf at Trump’s club in Westchester. Scary Spice is starting to hint at “troubling aspects” of ex-husband Eddie Murphy’s lifestyle, but she hasn’t specific. An upcoming book on personal hygiene portrays the French as rather smelly.
Tom Ford, CommandoTom Ford doesn’t wear underwear. Foxy Brown may get dropped from Def Jam, though this would come as news to her. Former flames Derek Jeter and Mariah Carey are set to meet this Friday, and it could be awkward. Chelsea Clinton recently got a job at a hedge fund, and her boyfriend may be her stockbroker. Is the Times playing favorites with suspended reporter Lola Ogunnaike and op-ed columnist Maureen Dowd? “Page Six”, ironically, lectures a company about freebies. (Also, it turns out Harvey Weinstein didn’t actually “swig” champagne on Halloween, as the “Six”ers reported. And that the “stripper” he was chatting up was actually Margherita Missoni. Whoops.) Ron Perelman is now dating designer Tory Burch, though she’s yet to finalize her divorce. Former Martha Stewart broker Peter Bacanovic tried to avoid getting his picture taken, failed. Lauren Bacall was denied backstage entry at the Metropolitan Opera. Guitarist Al Di Meola is a bad father. Tara Reid was drunk, again. A politician cheated on his wife in Albany, a married director got another woman pregnant, and the daughter of a retired news anchor got busy with a female fashion designer in a car, though names aren’t named. Joshua Jackson defended Lindsay Lohan. And her dad, who has thus far been unable to help himself, wants to write a self-help book.