PETA Causes a Ruckus in the House of Donna KaranA PETA protester accosted designer Donna Karan inside her Central Park West apartment after an assistant mistakenly let her in. Kyle MacLachlan and his wife are expecting a child. Tom Cruise, Jennifer Lopez, Demi Moore, and a host of other stars all turned out for Madonna’s “Raising Malawi” (Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon did not, however, after learning that the event was sponsored by Gucci). Rachel Zoe came to Fashion Week with eight suitcases, two of which were for accessories. R.E.M. played a series of impromptu shows on the Lower East Side earlier this week.
Gwyneth: Hungry AND Pregnant?Gwyneth Paltrow may have gone to Mount Sinai Medical Center on Monday to deal with pregnancy complications. Pink is teaming up with PETA to help stop horse-drawn carriage rides in Central Park. Billionaire Band-Aid heiress Libet Johnson refused to let her husband, weight-loss guru Dr. Lionel Bissoon, see their adopted child after they broke up. WD-50 chef Wylie Dufresne had BBQ and finger food at his wedding to former magazine editor Maile Carpenter this past weekend. Maroon Five guitarist James Valentine wrote about how much harder he used to party on his MySpace page. 5WPR founder Ronn Torossian has really low standards for the cases he’ll agree to take on. Ed Burns claims that critics in New York hate his films because he didn’t go to an Ivy League school and his dad’s a cop.
PETA Shakes Up Anna WintourThe folks at PETA are really outdoing themselves this year. First, there were the Hairy Kate and Trashley dolls. Now, they’ve reverted to their old standby, Anna Wintour, whom they’ve stuck in a snow globe this holiday season — you know, so you can “shake some sense into her.” Inside the virtual globe, fearsome opera plays as Anna drifts through a fiery netherworld inhabited by workers in Karl Lagerfeld glasses whose job, it seems, is to skin shrieking animals and toss their carcasses into a massive pile for “pelt pusher” Anna’s future coats. It’s creepy, of course, but it’s still kind of fun to shake the globe and watch “Anna” bounce around in the snow. Until you realize that, whenever she falls, her neck bends at a disturbing angle.
PETA’s Holiday Snow Globe [PETA]
Underwear Model Hits the FloorA publicist for model Annabel Vartanian claims that the model fainted at a La Perla party because “she wore herself out,” not because she has an eating disorder. Kim Cattrall is donating all the furs she wore in the Sex and the City movie to PETA, which in turn will give them to charity. Cindy Adams is taking credit for breaking Enquirer’s John Edwards–is–having–an–affair story. East Village landmark dive bars Sophie’s and Mona’s are both going up for sale after the holidays. Police commish Ray Kelly says he won’t make a decision about running for mayor until after the presidential scrum plays out. Donald Trump will be David Letterman’s first guest back when he goes live on January 2. Model Selita Ebanks, who may have been dating James Blake, was at a Knicks game with Giants lineman Osi Umenyira.
PETA Gets Way Too Personal With the Olsen TwinsNow, everyone knows how we love the Olsen family, so it pains our heart to do this, but we really have to recommend that everybody go over to the PETA Website and play their Dress Up the Trollsens game. See, that’s the new nickname they have for Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. You can go on their site and dress “Hairy Kate” and “Trashley,” who begin the game naked, in what we can only assume is the makeup they used during their auditions to be extras in I Am Legend. In their closet, you’ll see items like a “Choked Chinchilla Cap” and a “Mauled Mink Shaw” (the “Dead Doggie Shoulder Bag” and “Kitten-Trimmed Mittens,” we must say, are a stretch, even for PETA). The creepiest part isn’t the bloody clothing, nor is it the fact that both twins have the same naked body-warts that plague Mr. Burns on The Simpsons. It’s that their giant dead eyes follow your cursor as it moves around their bodies and does whatever it wants. They just dully regard you with a silent mix of sneering disdain and mild terror. For anyone who has ever had a fantasy about having sex with either of them, that should just about cure it. Because we’re no Lance Armstrong, but we suspect that in real life, that’s exactly how it goes.
Dress Up The Trollsens [PETA]
Jessica Simpson Has the Same Crummy Friends As the Rest of UsJessica Simpson got totally pissed at Eva Longoria for hanging out with her ex John Mayer at GoldBar. MSNBC pundit Lawrence O’Donnell, who plays a lawyer on Big Love, bashed Mormonism on The McLaughlin Group on Sunday. Richard Belzer says he’s “hurt” his role on Law & Order: SVU has been cut back. PETA has dubbed the Olsen twins the “Trollsen Twins” because of their affinity for fur. Among the items in J.Lo’s gift registry for her twins are a Balmoral enameled black carriage for a $3,495 and a $289 suede play mat.
Breaking: Lohans Not Best ParentsLindsay Lohan’s bodyguard claims Dina and Michael weren’t the best parents. Maria Bartiromo pissed off PETA by posing in a Michael Kors coat with fox-fur cuffs. The Box smelled like burnt hair for two hours after a patron’s hair caught on fire. Jay McCarroll’s friend says he has an Upper West Side apartment, contrary to what the designer told New York. Katie Couric belted out “Sweet Caroline” at a piano bar in Nantucket. Harvey Weinstein picked Clint Eastwood to compose the score for John Cusack’s new movie. City comptroller Bill Thompson says he was able to buy an apartment in Brooklyn shortly after graduating college in 1974, but his daughter couldn’t even afford to rent one. Chris Noth will be in the Sex and the City movie.
She’d Rather Go Naked
Is it wrong that we often find PETA protests — like this one yesterday against the Burberry store on 57th Street, where it seems they’re selling things made of fur — to be entertaining and amusing? Because we do.
Whose Interviews These AreThe New Yorker confuses Robert Frost and David Frost (whoops!), much to the amusement of both “Page Six” and the Gatecrasher. Porn star Jenna Jameson has lost a lot of weight and has started acting unprofessionally since her divorce. Real-estate developer Harry Macklowe gets preferential treatment at all Icon parking garages in Manhattan. Ben Widdicombe got an earful from Pauly Shore. The Russian Tea Room uses out-of-context quotes to give the impression that it has been well reviewed. Tom Wolfe will give a speech in Miami about art and architecture. A number of J.P. Morgan bankers are expected to attend Dana Vachon’s book party tomorrow night, despite the treatment the firm (or, rather, the fictitious firm based on Morgan) gets in the book.
Reliving HistoryJeff Gerth and Don Van Natta’s Hillary bio will come out in August and may cause ethics problems for her in the Senate. Bonnie Fuller worried she showed too much chest on TV; also, she was cold. Hooters won’t host a PETA book party, prompting bad jokes from a PETA exec. Newt Gingrich and Lally Weymouth ate lunch. Thora Birch’s dad watched her shoot sex scenes. Martin Scorsese wants Leo DiCaprio to play stock swindler Jordan Belfort. And he’s also making a movie about Queen Victoria, says Liz Smith, with Sarah Ferguson as a co-producer. Sean Penn spoke at an antiwar rally in Oakland, didn’t make much sense. Whoopi Goldberg and Kiefer Sutherland had brunch.
Orlando Boosters, PETA Protesters All Disappoint UsSo how was the big Florida–in–Times Square event the Orlando tourism people planned for this morning? And how was the big how-dare-you-bring-tropical-animals- to-this-frigid-climate protest PETA promised? As it turned out, really, really disappointing. On all counts.
PETA to Protest Florida VacationsHow do you say “It’s on!” in Animal Kingdom–speak? As New York reported in this week’s magazine, animal-rights activists were considering a protest of the Orlando, Florida, tourism bureau’s plans to stage a “mini-Orlando” in Times Square tomorrow morning. Why? The stunt is set to include penguins, flamingos, and live gator-wrestling, and PETA doesn’t think too highly of moving tropical animals to frigid New York — let alone wrestling them. Now it seems the activists weren’t kidding: We’ve received a press release promising a protest at 8:30 a.m. Maybe they’ll even catch Anna Wintour on her way into work! — Tim Murphy
People Don’t Like Lennon’s Murderer, ApparentlySome people are boycotting the Lohan-Leto movie about John Lennon murderer Mark David Chapman because they think it gives him too much publicity. Mayor Bloomberg made an ill-timed Leonardo DiCaprio–Bar Refaeli joke. Mary-Louise Parker and Weeds co-star Jeffrey Dean Morgan have split, though in this case she was not pregnant with his child. The Daily News sticks to its claim that Sienna Miller and Hayden Christensen are actually doing it in Factory Girl. George Soros spoke at Davos last week about America’s need for a “de-Nazification” process. The U.S. Postal Service refused to ship cards from Chez Josephine owner Jean-Claude Baker because they had pictures of boobies — Josephine Baker’s boobies — on them. — on them.
Giuliani Not the Only GOPer Who Knows His Campaign Faces ProblemsSome Republicans think his business and the press will keep Rudy Giuliani from running for president. Robin Williams made friends with a bunch of former enemies in the New York Film Critics Circle. Ron Perelman brought rabbis over to bless a plot of land he purchased on the secluded Harbour Island in the Bahamas; locals, having never seen a rabbi, thought they were terrorists. Dita Von Teese left Marilyn Manson because he was partying too heartily with Lindsay Lohan, Angelina Jolie, and Evan Rachel Wood. Word association with Forbes publisher Steve Forbes: Nancy Pelosi: “Trouble.” Hillary Clinton: “Future Trouble.” Speaking of Pelosi, daughter Alexandra’s latest documentary features a telling interview with outed pastor Ted Haggard. Claire Danes’ new boyfriend, Hugh Dancy, seems to be more interested in boys than in poor Claire. Simon Cowell prefers Kelly Clarkson to Bob Dylan. Britney Spears went out drinking, shacked up with model Isaac Cohen at the W Hotel on Monday. Bill Nighy prefers his matzo-ball soup without matzo balls. Coke-loving, hooker-loving Pat O’Brien is out at The Insider. Amy Sedaris was listening to “Desperado” when she lost her virginity; an 11-year old Tracy Morgan had “Superfreak.” The guy behind the N.J. sale of Whitney Houston memorabilia may not actually own all the stuff he’s selling. Paris Hilton pleaded innocent to her DUI charge from September. Katie Couric is having a 50th birthday party at Tiffany this weekend. Cross-town goalie rivals Henrik Lundqvist and Marty Broedeur avoided each other at Tao. PETA claims that the makers of POM pomegranate juice fund experiments in which the arteries of male bunnies are severed so that researchers can study the effect of the juice on male impotence.