The Sexed-Up Comedian With a Boss CrushOnce a week, Daily Intel takes a peek at what your friends and neighbors are doing behind doors left slightly ajar. Today, the Sexed-Up Comedian With a Boss Crush: 26, female, Upper West Side, bisexual, in a relationship.
6 a.m.: Awaken to sensation of boyfriend’s boner pushed against my ass. Not sure if I’m in the mood. Decide to fuck him in an effort to find out.
6:15 a.m.: About to come, and then dog bursts into room and licks my face. Ironic, as we’re doing it doggy style. Incapable of coming with dog staring at me. Boyfriend comes anyway. Perv.
10 a.m.: Lady-boss tells me that I did a great job on the last project. She’s younger and hotter than I am. I contemplate ramifications of making out with her at the Christmas party in two months. If both my boyfriend and the CEO were watching, would it still be cheating/gross professional misconduct?
Noon: Lady-boss tells me I really need to speed things up on the next project. Hate criticism. Hate lady-boss. No office-party make-out for her.