They Report, You Decide?Wherein we arrange Times headlines in verse to bring you secret messages from the paper of record.
Still Unsettled in Wake of New Questions
What Seller Wants a Low Price?
Who Says They’re Too Old to Stay in the Game?
Where’s the Other Half of Your Music File?
Any Wonder It Wasn’t Built in a Day?
How Weird Are Your Daydreams?
Time Wasted? Perhaps It’s Well Spent.
Who Says Warming Is a Problem?
Where Now, for the Wind?
An Answer to Help Clear His Fog .?
Break a Confidence? Never. Well, Hardly Ever.
‘Times’ Couplets: Must We Pay to Drive to Midtown?Wherein we arrange Times headlines in verse to bring you secret messages from the paper of record.
Mayor Has New Plan to Cite Drivers Who Block the Box
Ignoring the Warnings, Again?
In This Clash, Both Sides Are Good:
No Segways Needed.
Get Moving on Traffic Relief.
Get Out and Go,
Erin. Go Faster!
‘Times’ Couplets: Watch Where You’re Going!Wherein we arrange Times’ headlines in verse to bring you secret messages from the paper of record.
The Troubles: A Walking Tour
No Sleep Is Part of the Ordeal.
Passing Mile Markers, Snapping Pictures
Woman Falls Through Sidewalk Grate.
Going Like 60 (Tick Tick Tick)
The Suns Forge Ahead Without Stopping for Pity.
Rescuers Try to Lure Lost Whales With Sound.
5-Year-Old Marathoner to Walk 300 Miles —
Not for Kids Only, Seeking Buccaneer Bliss.
A Long Road Ahead,
The Last Eden. Paradise Preserved — in a Restless Continent.
‘Times’ Couplets: Undead Find You Tasty, Healthy, Too!Wherein we arrange Times headlines in verse to bring you secret truths from the paper of record.
The Satire Is Biting, and So Are the Zombies
Mother Nature’s Helpers
Toasting the Neighbors
Chasing an Old Flame, Taking No Prisoners.
Channeling Group Dynamics, Fueled by the Power of Funk
The Human Community
Sowing the Substance of Life
For Life, Sometimes.
Because It’s Good for You, That’s Why!
‘Times’ Couplets: Finally Over That Whole Tea-Party ThingWherein we arrange Times headlines in verse to bring you secret truths from the paper of record.
Back in U.S., Queen Celebrates Ex-Colony
Hopper’s America, in Shadow and Light:
Sometimes You Can Go Home Again.
Confusion and Deception as a Royal Family Affair
In a New Space and Time, a Classic Story of Tragic Love,
Family Values, Betrayed.
As the Climate Changes, Bits of England’s Coast Crumble
Away From Her– Time’s Wounds. And the Heart’s?
Yankees Find Just Enough to Get By.
‘Times’ Couplets: The Children Are the FutureWherein we arrange Times headlines in verse to bring you secret truths from the paper of record.
Mankind’s Appetite for Destruction in the 20th Century
One Bad Swing Can Often Lead to Another:
The Drama of Daytime: Friendships, Feuds and Fury;
Murky Emotions Floating to the Surface,
The Pressure of Great Expectations —
Struggles to Regain Equilibrium.
Digging for Clams and Difficult Answers
(Not Any Time Soon)
Seek Balance of Unity and Differences.
Glimpsing the Future (and a Babe)
Change the World (and That Diaper).
‘Times’ Couplets: There’s No Place Like HomeWherein we arrange Times headlines in verse to bring you secret truths from the paper of record.
An Anglophilic Yankee Aristocrat and His Finds Across the Pond
From Asia to the Caribbean to New York, Appetite Intact,
Putting Up His Dukes, for His Country, His Race and Money,
Going Against the Flow.
Ferry Required? No Bridge, No Problem.
Solitude and the Sea…
A Brutal Passage From India to Misery at Sea, and Back.
Innocence or Experience? An American Tale.
On Friendly Turf, Suggests History Will Be Kind to Him.
‘Times’ Couplets: Not Everyone’s Built to Be a Man-eaterWherein we arrange Times headlines in verse to bring you secret messages from the paper of record.
Hooking a Big One?
Revolution Begins at the Beauty Salon.
Sallie Mae Said to Talk to Suitors —
No Matter the Message, It’s Delivered With Dazzle.
Mixing Poise and Panache
Parise Wastes Little Time in Firing Up the Devils.
Sharon’s “Condition” Is Said to Improve:
Statistics Show Ups, Downs and Betweens.
When the Haunted One Turns Into the Hunter
Paris Believes in Tears (and Love and Real Estate).
From Call Girl to Kant Girl in a Flash of White Panties
Giving All for Her Country but Also Feeling the Pain.
‘Times’ Couplets: Monogamy?Wherein we arrange Times headlines in verse to bring you secret messages from the paper of record.
On Gilded Sharks and Loverboys
Gotta Minute? So, There’s This Guy Tony …
Going With the Flow.
Enter an Old Rival, Again
Material Muse for Some Strange Bedfellows
Creatures More Slothful Than You and Me.
Three-Way Connection of Minds and Bodies;
Episodes of Vanity;
Whimsy Collides With Tragedy.
See You in Court, Sweetie!
‘Times’ Couplets: A Rebellion in the Food ChainWherein we arrange times couplets in verse to bring you secret messages from the paper of record.
Communing With Nature on a Grand Scale
The Way the World Ends, Vividly Imagined?
No Pet Left Behind:
Rats in His Sights, and in His Backpack, Too
Maple Leafs Fall, Crosby Lifts Penguins,
A Featherless Audubon Menagerie
Romping With Henry and His Rat Pack.
Bulls Clinch Berth in Playoffs
With the Greatest of Ease;
Unusually Good Food at an Unusual Hill
May Lower Scallop Population.
The Vicious Victim,
Pork Goes to War.
We Welcome You, Alien OverlordsWherein we arrange Times headlines in verse to bring you secret truths from the paper of record.
Government Opens U.F.O. Files
Minister Critical of ‘Blond’ Envoys,
A Hidden Populace in a Vacant Lot
Seeking Office Where Fiction and Fact Blur.
A Bittersweet Return
Stirring Up Cultural Storm.
Citizen of the World,
How to Come Close?
No Sex, Please! We’re French.
Better Buy a HybridWherein we arrange Times headlines in verse to bring you secret knowledge from the Gray Lady.
Real Stars of Darwin’s Turf
Just Like Life, With Quiet Journeys and Cosmic Whirls
Call for Speed Limit Has German Blood at 178 m.p.h. Boil.
Bending Toward Elegance With a Virtuosic Efficiency,
Fiat Plans a Low-Cost Car.
Relighting Snuffed Candles,
Green Energy Enthusiasts Are Also Betting on Fossil Fuels…
Between the Precise Layers, a Cultural Narrative:
The Sky Is Falling. Really.
The Greenness of Al Gore
Do You Know Where Your Slogan Is?
‘Times’ Couplets: Even the Galaxy Knows Urban RenewalWherein we arrange Times headlines in verse to bring you secret knowledge from the Gray Lady.
Big Wishes, Easy Credit, Tough Times
“A Seedy Stretch, Sure, but Worth Saving, Denizens Say—
Modernity and Tradition at a Cultural Crossroads”—
Where Is the Clarion Call to Arms?
Winners Amid Gloom and Doom
Describe How They Hope to Improve the World.
(Take a Big Hit? Then Deliver a Bigger Blow.)
Dividing Wall Starts to Fall …
Finding Peace, and Looking for a Job,
Saturn Goes Back to Warm and Fuzzy,
Finds He Can Go Home Again—
Goes Around, Comes Around.
‘Times’ Couplets: Urban CowboysWherein we arrange headlines in verse to bring you secret messages from the paper of record.
Man Is Convicted of Attempted Murder as Hate Crime in Village Rampage
Athlete and a ‘Cultured’ Tarzan
Savior of a Crumbling Village, Dies.
‘The Rats Will Not Win,’ Chief Varmint Hunter Vows
Hunting a Killer as the Age of Aquarius Dies.
In the Shootout, Two Stars, One Goal—
More Than Just Two Ex-Cowboys
Hitting the Road for Some Hot Man-on-Bike Action,
Exploring Identity as a Problematic Condition.
Deconstructing the Costs, and Emotions, of Warfare
Everything Crumbles Toward Eternities—
The Big Meltdown
A Suddenly Convenient Truth.
Imagine More Hope, All Ye Who Enter Here.
As Night Falls, Farmer Trades His Tractor for the Blues.
You Might Want to Skip LunchWherein we arrange Times headlines in verse to bring you secret messages from the paper of record.
All the Body’s a Stage
Brother Who Left Wine for Cheese, Dies —
Agency Confirms That Peanut Butter Was Tainted.
Boston Police to Destroy Pepper-Spray Guns:
Bile and Vitriol by the Ton, and Yet Still Never Enough.
As Piazza Sips Elixir of Youth, Williams Nips a Bitter Tonic —
Only the Swans Know Why a Love Has Died….
Aid Sought for Fishermen:
Half-Ton Squid Reeled In,
A Tomato Soup Can, and a Pocketful of Coins.
Let Them Eat Foie Gras (Gift Bags Are So Last Year).
The Post-Valentine’s Day VerdictIn which our faithful correspondent arranges Times headlines in verse to bring you secret messages from the paper of record.
On a Clear Day …
Looking to the Future, Living With the Past,
There’s Good News and Bad News
The Past Masks the Present,
New Grievance Deepens Old Quarrels
A Collision of Role Players on the Busy Avenue of Life,
Transcending Pain, a Friendship Fed on Imagination —
Adventures in Geometry and Color, as Well as Dancing,
Blasts of Color, Evoking Memories
Freedom from Fear?
Forget What You Know: Listen Anew
All Eyes Are on You.
Have Fun, Kiddies! (Just Use Protection)Wherein our faithful correspondent arranges Times headlines to bring you secret truths from the paper of record.
The Romance of a Dozen Roses, the Gritty Reality of a Truckload
In Defense of the Desperate (And the Notorious),
Who’s Afraid of an Artist Who Loved Flowers?
Relics of the 19th Century, in a Sentimental Mood
He’s Bringing Commitment Back (and Not in a Box).
How He Arrived at That Acquired Taste?
A Turnaround Born of Pain, Now Yielding Opportunity:
Sex, Repressed and Unleashed—
The Big Bang and the Bucks Set to Collide in Inner Space.
A Matter of Fair Play…
A Cigar Isn’t Just a Cigar? Ay-Ay-Ay.
‘Times’ Couplets: Water, Water, EverywhereIn which we assemble Times headlines in rhyme to bring you secret messages from the paper of record.
Slip-Sliding and Loving It—
World Climate Report Is Criticized as Too Optimistic.
A Tax at the Pump,
Praying at the Pump,
State Sues Wyoming Over Water.
Bolivia’s Only Ski Resort Is Facing a Snowless Future —
Houses With Saunas: The Hottest Amenity!
Snow or No, It’s a Party.
‘Times’ Couplets: Poetic Truths in the Paper of RecordWherein we arrange Times headlines in rhyme for your poetical amusement. Today’s message: Things just aren’t working out.
The Rules Are Different, but a Rivalry Remains
To Execute, or Not to Execute? That Is the Uneasy Question.
Approach Boss With Caution:
New Low on ‘Idol’?”
All Together: Let’s Go, Jack. Let’s Go, Jill.
A Talking Head Meets His Comic Doppelgänger, and Sparks Fail to Fly.
Innovator and Master, Side by Side,
Royal Ruffled by Aide and Partner;
Nowhere to Turn for Shelter—
Very Strange and Very Naked—
Apology Not Accepted.
‘Times’ Couplets: Poetic Truths in the Paper of RecordWherein we arrange headlines from the Times in rhyme to bring you secret communiqués from the center of the universe. Today’s message: Remember the greediest.
Pfizer’s Ex-Chief to Get Full Retirement Package
BlackBerry Maker’s Profit Beats Forecast
$14.8 Million Bonus at Bear Stearns;
A Boom Year for Mergers and a Furious Pace for Law Firms
Fidelity Makes Restitution in Gifts Case:
Generosity on Display — An Artful Give and Take
Surviving These Blessings Is, Hey, Another Blessing
Comfortable Shoes Recommended
‘Times’ Couplets: Poetic Truths in the Paper of RecordWherein which your faithful correspondent assembles Times headlines in rhyme to bring you secret bulletins from the paper of record. Today’s message: The World Needs a Cold Shower.
The French Riviera Is an Adult Playground, With a PG Side
The Netherlands: Iron Rita Sidelined;
Legislators Vote for Gay Unions in N.J.
Commendatore, Where the Devil Are You Taking Me?
Spies, Lies and Noir in Berlin
A Woman Who Wore Couture Like a Second Skin
Albania, Europe’s Rough Corner, Loosens Up
Hofstra Women Starting to Think, ‘Why Not Us?’
Administration to Drop Effort to Track if Visitors Leave
The Cost of an Overheated Planet?
We’re Glad You Love Us; Don’t Overdo It.