Displaying all articles tagged:


  1. amazing things
    ‘Big Ass Turtle’ Survives High-Speed Car Crash in FloridaThe turtle was hit by one car and propelled through the windshield of another car going more than 70 mph. 
  2. bad ideas
    Canadian Man Faces Jail Time for Smuggling Turtles in His PantsHe strapped 41 turtles around his legs and hid 10 in between.
  3. companions
    Meet New York’s Oldest Third-GraderMolasses, an Eastern box turtle, is 55 years old and lives in Room 208 at Friends Seminary.
  4. turtle men
    Mitch McConnell Looks Like a TurtleWe were all thinking it, but the Daily Caller acted on it.
  5. why they hate us
    Terrifying Turtle Stampede Delays Flights at JFKThis again?
  6. in other news
    Two-Headed Turtlenapping in Brooklyn!A famously freaky turtle in a Brooklyn pet shop has been stolen. We imagine what must have been going through its head … er, heads.