The ‘GQ’ Whipped List Includes Some of New York’s MeekestWe were just tipped off to GQ’s list of “the twenty-five most emasculated, disempowered, henpecked husbands on the planet” by Portfolio’s Jeff Bercovici. He was fascinated by the fact that Wendi Deng, our best friend, pushed Rupert Murdoch around so much. Well, yeah. Doesn’t everyone know that it’s the powerful men who love to be dominated? But what other New York men did GQ out as submissives? Despite the obvious and frankly just-for-show sexism (because everyone knows that all dudes who work for GQ are either gay or Sensitive) we clicked over, and we were not disappointed.
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Woody Allen: One Way Scarlett Can Get Taken Seriously Is Hot Lesbian Sex ScenesWoody Allen, no stranger to scandal himself, had some wise advice to offer his new muse, Match Point and Scoop star Scarlett Johansson. “She can do anything, but she has to make the right choices of films and she’s got to not go the ‘Page Six’ party route,” he says in the current issue of Maclean’s, “Page Six” reported yesterday. “She has to take her acting seriously … the way someone like Meryl Streep did it.” It was sweet, actually, the wizened director’s concern for Johansson, even when he said somewhat daddy-creepily that, “I don’t want to read about her in the paper with this boyfriend or that boyfriend.” So how is Woody helping to keep the “Page Six” wolves from the young actress’ tender flesh? How is he ensuring that Scarlett won’t become, well, a scarlet woman? Well, for starters, he’s given her a “steamy lesbian sex scene” and a ménage à trois scene in his new film, Vicky Cristina Barcelona, “Page Six” reports today. “It is also extremely erotic,” a source tells the Post. “People will be blown away and even shocked. Penelope and Scarlett go at it in a red-tinted photography dark room, and it will leave the audience gasping.” Indeed.
Sapphic Steam [NYP]
Atoosa to Spawn!Rush Limbaugh is catching flak for using the phrase “anal poisoning” in conjunction with John McCain and his potential running mate, Senator Lindsey Graham. Heather Mills will represent herself in divorce court next week. Nicky Hilton couldn’t get into a Fashion Week party at the Gramercy Park Hotel’s Rose Bar, perhaps because owner Ian Schrager doesn’t like her or her sister. Woody Allen wants Scarlett Johansson to be like Meryl Streep and not go the “‘Page Six’–party route.” Also, he calls her “sexy,” which is gross. Former Seventeen editor Atoosa Rubenstein is expecting a baby in July.
Woody Allen Doesn’t Mind That No One Puts Him in Their Movies. Really!Woody Allen’s Cassandra’s Dream, which opens Friday, is his fourth movie in a row that was shot outside of New York. The city, he thinks, is losing its character. “There are certain areas that have not been encroached upon too much — Carnegie Hill, the West Village, Tudor City, places that are still lovely to look at,” he told the Daily News this weekend. “But once they put up those big new buildings, it looks the same as Houston.” Despite his disapproval, he’s preparing a new movie that will shoot here this spring, although he hasn’t said what it’s about, or whether he’ll be in it. He is not in Cassandra. Which brings up a funny point: Even though he’s starred in plenty of his own films, people don’t really think of Woody Allen as an actor, and he’s only been in a couple of movies he did not direct. Why not? “No one ever really offers me anything,” he told the Daily News. “I think I’m an ideal person to fill a certain void,” he said. Maybe it’s because he always plays himself. But even that could be funny, in the right role. “If you were casting a guy vaguely my age and wanted either, you know, a slimy little New York bookmaker or a New York sportswriter or a psychoanalyst or a professor … there are any number of things that I’d be very right for, and could be amusing in,” he said. “But for some reason — and again this is not something that bothers me, just mentioning it as a fact — no one ever calls me for anything, ever.” Well, it seems like someone should cast Woody Allen as something. How about as a revered but aging filmmaker who ends up marrying his own adopted daughter? Now that would be amusing.
Woody Allen Sounds Off [NYDN]
Underwear Model Hits the FloorA publicist for model Annabel Vartanian claims that the model fainted at a La Perla party because “she wore herself out,” not because she has an eating disorder. Kim Cattrall is donating all the furs she wore in the Sex and the City movie to PETA, which in turn will give them to charity. Cindy Adams is taking credit for breaking Enquirer’s John Edwards–is–having–an–affair story. East Village landmark dive bars Sophie’s and Mona’s are both going up for sale after the holidays. Police commish Ray Kelly says he won’t make a decision about running for mayor until after the presidential scrum plays out. Donald Trump will be David Letterman’s first guest back when he goes live on January 2. Model Selita Ebanks, who may have been dating James Blake, was at a Knicks game with Giants lineman Osi Umenyira.
Carson Kressley Was Working It Even Before ‘Queer Eye’Woody Allen’s new film Cassandra’s Dream is about a pair of brothers who do something dreadful and are plagued with guilt. So naturally, we asked guests at the Cinema Society’s celeb-studded screening of the flick on Tuesday what was the worst thing they’d done for money. Colin Farrell admitted that he once line-danced, and Rosie Perez said she did an ABC movie, but our favorite answer was Carson Kressley’s. Because it was so, well, not fake. “When I was a young struggling stylist, I had a credit card that my parents would help me pay for, and when I would run out of money for food, I would go to Bloomingdale’s and buy something and I’d put it on my charge card and I’d ask for a gift box,” the former Queer Eye style guru told us. “And then I would take it back to Bloomingdale’s and say I’d received it as a present. Then I would ask for the money back, and if they wouldn’t do that, I would buy popcorn or Mrs. Prindable’s Apples or whatever food they sold at Bloomingdale’s, and that way I could eat. But now they have much stricter return policies, it totally doesn’t work.” We’ve never tried this tactic, but we did run out of money during college and use our parents’ credit card to pay for group dinners so our friends would give us cash. So we really feel him on this one. —Fiona Byrne
From the Beginning, Donald Was a One-NamerSince this summer, the magazine Mental Floss has been running an online feature called “The First Time News Was Fit to Print,” in which they look up in the New York Times archives the first instances the Paper of Record mentioned people or items that are famous today (Woody Allen, for example, first appears in 1962 under the headline: “Young Men’s Hebrew Association Presents 2nd Jazz Concert”). Today they ran an all–New York edition, which reveals some gems:
• January 28, 1973: The big change in Fred Trump’s operations in recent years is the advent of his son, Donald Donald, who was graduated first in his class from the Wharton School of Finance of the University of Pennsylvania in 1968, joined his father about five years ago. He has what his father calls “drive.” He also possesses, in his father’s judgment, business acumen. “Donald is the smartest person I know,” he remarked admirably. “Everything he touches turns to gold.”
Insurance-Man BluesWoody Allen once had to drop Winona Ryder and Robert Downey Jr. from a movie because no one would insure them — just like Lindsay Lohan is getting dropped because no one will insure her. 50 Cent claimed that he’ll no longer put out any solo albums if Kanye West’s Graduation outsells his record when they both debut on September 11. In Jay McInerney’s latest book, Evelyn’s is based on now-shuttered West 9th Street speakeasy Marylou’s. Ashley Olsen says that she and sister Mary-Kate have a psychic bond and “carry the weight of each other.” Chris Rock and Jerry Seinfeld ate together at the Brooklyn Diner. Cheryl Tiegs likes to play hard-to-get with guys.
Saddam Lives?An agent claims to have forensic evidence and government documents that allege Saddam Hussein is still alive and well. Former CBS News reporter turned professional CBS basher Bernard Goldberg takes shots at Les Moonves and Katie Couric in his newest book. The relationship between 77-year-old Barbara Walters and 80-year-old Robert N. Butler is heating up. Arianna Huffington broke her cheekbone and got stitches after fainting in her office from exhaustion. Taxi tycoon Andrew Murstein bought a suite at Madison Square Garden for $500,000. The man accused of shaking down Oprah Winfrey claims he was set up by her lawyer, according to Radar. Exes Tom Arnold and Roseanne Barr continue to dislike each another.
Woody Allen Fights AIDS, Bores Us
Speaking of Wednesday’s amFAR benefit, it also brought out Woody Allen for a rare public appearance. (He presented an award to an old friend, Dr. Mathilde Krim, amFAR’s founding chairman.) After a charmingly bumbling speech, he sat, quite oddly, across the table from Soon-Yi and listened to Garry Shandling tell the room about watching Allen years ago on a short-lived Saturday-morning TV show, Hot Dog. “It was a show where they explained to kids how things worked and Woody Allen was one of the people who explained things,” Shandling said. “I’ll never forget the time he came out and told us that baseball bats were made of halvah, so that when you strike out, you can eat it.”
Later we approached Allen to ask for an interview and were shocked to have him agree. Suddenly, visions of brilliant, hilarious, angst- and Yiddish-filled quotes leaped to our mind. We were thrilled. And then he proceeded to give us a series of totally boring replies. (Except for one tiny bit of news, that despite his last few films, he hasn’t forsaken New York forever.) Feh.
‘New York Was His Town, and It Always Would Be’
The Film Forum’s three-week Woody Allen marathon is winding down this week, ending Thursday with a double feature of Crimes and Misdemeanors and Deconstructing Harry. But this weekend’s show was Manhattan, and, well, if you haven’t seen that opening sequence recently, take another look. It’s yet one more reason to love New York.
Manhattan Opening Sequence [YouTube]
Essentially Woody [Film Forum]
Reasons to Love New York Right Now [NYM]