Naked Bunch

It’s illegal to be naked in public in New York State. So, many city naturists hop the (appropriately named) SeaStreak ferry to Sandy Hook, and proceed to Gunnison Beach, where they meet up with their Jersey comrades-without-pants. There’s a crowd through October. “These people have a much longer beach season than usual,” says Brian Feeney, spokesperson for the National Park Service. “But no one’s having sex on the beach. We don’t permit that.”

Jennifer Gass, 38
University HR administrator; lives in Battery Park City
Why are you naked?
I feel more comfortable naked on a beach than in a suit.
Are you a nudist?
It’s not my lifestyle. I wouldn’t be comfortable sitting down at dinner naked.
So why are you wearing a bikini bottom?
Because I feel fat today.

Yvonne V., “over 60”
Retired bank teller; lives in Matawan, N.J.
Why are you here?
There’s nothing like it in the world. I met my husband here.
It was my second time on the beach. I took one look at those turquoise eyes, and I knew. I hit pay dirt.
How’d you meet?
He was reading a book, and I stuck my butt in his face and told him to laugh. [Demonstrates.]

L, Berenger; R, Guadagnino.Photo: Courtesy of Arianne Cohen

Tony Guadagnino, 35
Magazine marketing manager; lives in Hackensack, N.J.
How’d you get into this?
I was born this way! And it’s a great place to meet people. We all come out here every weekend, at least ten of us—twenty times this summer.
What do you do all day?
We swim, walk, hike, jog.
Do you have parties?
We have themed parties. Like we just had a seamen’s party. With little sailor hats, and the ascots.

Don Berenger, 51
Collections agent; lives in Summit, N.J.
Your tents are pretty snazzy.
At the beginning of the summer, we had inflatable furniture.
What happened?
Inflatables just can’t take 100-degree heat. They don’t tell you that on the package, the bastards.
What should the clothing laws be?
No, just on the beach. I don’t want to see you naked at ShopRite. Next: John Mayer Will Not Teach You Guitar

Have good intel? Send tips to

Naked Bunch