That dude doesn't look too happy.Photo: Chris Hondros/Getty Images

Brooklyn Bottle Bowl
Brooklyn Winery; 5 p.m.; 213 N. 8th St., nr. Driggs Ave., Williamsburg; 347-763-1506
Brooklyn Brewery and Brooklyn Winery want to help you watch the game like a baller with your own private table for twelve, which comes with 24 beers, two bottles of wine, and a buffet of four-inch subs (oh my!). Half-tables are also available, as well as standing room, and you can capture the hazy memories with the free photo booth provided.

Super Bowl Sunday
Bowlmor Times Square; 6 p.m.; 222 W. 44th St., nr. Fifth Ave.; 212-680-0012
Perhaps you’d like a little bowling with your, um, Bowl? At Bowlmor Times Square, $64 scores you unlimited bowling, shoe rental, unlimited draft beer, and a light buffet. For something more gut-expanding, David Burke’s Stadium Grill is offering unlimited beverages throughout the game and food platters for the first half, which you can watch on one of 29 high-definition screens.

Pete Rock
Touch; 6:30 p.m.; 240 W. 52nd St., nr. Broadway; 212-489-7656
What better place to show off your touchdown dance than in da club? At Touch, the big game will be shown on an eight-foot projection screen with prolific producer Pete Rock manning the turntables. And there’s also a little something extra for the ladies: a “Beauty End Zone” with upscale hair-care, skin-care, and makeup product samples, as well as fashion tips.

Not a Sportsbar: A Very Bookstore Super Bowl Party
Housing Works Bookstore Café; 6 p.m.; 126 Crosby St., nr. Houston St.; 212-334-3324
Closet sports fans can maintain their cred by watching the game in a decidedly non-sports-like atmosphere. All the usual suspects will be provided: a huge viewing screen, raffle tickets, cheap booze, and finger food. But here, if you find your mind wandering, the new Lethem is right at your fingertips.

Joe’s Pub; 6 p.m.; 425 Lafayette St., nr. Astor Pl.; 212-539-8777
So maybe you’re not a fan of the pigskin. Maybe you’ve never even seen a game. Eh, neither has the cast of Uberbowl. Ignorance will be flaunted at Joe’s Pub, where the game will be on in the background but all the action will take place in the panel of cultural misfits up front; the Village Voice’s Michael Musto and actress Kristen Johnston will be among them. Drama Desk Award winner Bradford Louryk and Helen Hayes Award nominee Adam Koch host.