Shock Value

Penn Jillette, magician: “If they fine her, she should fight all the way to the Supreme Court. These people are trying to say that they’re smarter than Thomas Jefferson! If there was anyone who wasn’t afraid of a black woman’s breast, it was Thomas Jefferson.”

Dr. Laura Schlessinger, radio host: “Behave like a dignified woman.”

Robin Quivers, Howard Stern’s co-host: “Flash both breasts on our show. It’s the appropriate setting.”

Lizzie Grubman, PR: “I’m advising my clients to stay away from stunts—the Madonna kiss was where it started going wrong for Britney Spears. You can’t top Janet’s possible engagement to Jermaine Dupri. Nothing sells like a power couple.”

Keith Blanchard, editor, Maxim: “She should go on Larry King to apologize, then expose leftie, the other boob.”

Richard Hatch, ex-Survivor: “Although I’ve done my part to loosen things up, Janet’s ‘wardrobe malfunction’ was not helpful. She should hire a new publicist.”

Steve-O, former Jackass, host of Wildboyz: “She’s directly responsible for Howard Stern. I just got a couple of radio D.J.’s suspended in Montreal—I peed all over the studio!”

Shock Value