Last Gasp

Dave Attell, comic, Insomniac: “In a shocking turn of events, Mr. Big flies back to NYC to propose to Carrie, but after three apple martinis she reveals she’s Carson from Queer Eye.”

Stephen Schiff, screenwriter, Lolita: “Hanging around with Baryshnikov turns Carrie into a balletomane and she winds up stealing Candace Bushnell’s husband. Samantha has a torrid affair with Howard Dean, ruining his presidential hopes, though the sex is so good, neither cares. Charlotte moves to Israel and brings peace to the Middle East.”

Christopher Durang, playwright: “Charlotte gets an unexpected knock on the door from a Jehovah’s Witness. Could he be played by Hugh Jackman? And he tells her about the coming apocalypse, and they pass out copies of The Watchtower and warn everyone against the dangers of too much sex and too much free time.”

Erica Jong, author: “I’d make Carrie the editor-in-chief of her paper. Samantha has a baby with her dishy younger man. Charlotte moves to the Lower East Side. And Miranda finally marries Steve, but they invite Magda the housekeeper for a menage à trois.” Mim Udovich, writer: “To speak Carrie’s language: When we ask ourselves how we’d like to see Sex and the City end, is it because we care at all or is it because we’d just like to see it end?”

We’re Asking You. How would you end the show?

Last Gasp