Publishing Breakfast at Bulgari’s

Grove/Atlantic’s publication of Fay Weldon’s novel The Bulgari Connection – sponsored by the jewelry house – reveals all sorts of new product-placement options. A few selections from next spring’s catalogues.

Tom Clancy for Boeing: Mission Over Kamchatka
“Ryerson was concerned with the TL-24, the fuel-sensor gauge in the aft tank. But when he ran the diagnostics, it was fully within spec. ‘Damn,’ he thought. ‘After two hits from a North Korean MiG? Damn fine work from the boys up in Seattle.’ “

F. Scott Fitzgerald for Absolut: Absolut Gatsby
“He stepped to the sideboard. ‘Vodka tonic?’

’Of course,’ she said. ‘Do you use the good stuff?’

’I don’t buy anything else,’ he said. ‘It’s the only bottle that doesn’t clash with the draperies.’ He smiled, but he wasn’t laughing.”

Nicholson Baker for Obsession: Sox
“‘What are you wearing?’ he asked.

’Socks. Have been, all day. White, with a little diamond-shaped pattern.’

’You don’t smell like it. You smell good.’ His eyes fell on the Bauhaus bottle and its once-dated, chic-again Futura Light logotype, his thoughts unaccountably drifting to coffee mugs, piston rings, and the vague, troubling connotation of the word ramrod.”

Anthony Bourdain for Lysol: Restroom Confidential
“Oh, you know, deep in your little menu-scanning heart, what goes on back there. You think every employee washes his hands before returning to work? You think anyone does?”

Dave Eggers for Dave Eggers: Just Staggering
“About me, well, what else can I say?” 720 pages, plus 125 endnotes and 37-page postscript, to follow.

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Publishing Breakfast at Bulgari’s