FedExing Pvt. Lynch

Bonnie Fuller, editor-in-chief, Us magazine: “A date with either Ashton Kutcher or Justin Timberlake.”

Pat Kiernan, NY1 anchor: “Use of Steve Case’s empty office when the new AOL Time Warner Center opens.”

Michael Musto, Village Voice columnist: “Two tickets to From Justin to Kelly to prove there are worse things than being a POW. ”

John Kampfner, presenter of the BBC’s War Spin, which deconstructed the nature of the “rescue”: “A framed photograph of Donald Rumsfeld and Tony Blair arm in arm.”

Geraldo Rivera, Fox News: “I’d make her a general.”

Nadine Johnson, publicist: “A M.A.C cosmetics contract—she’s a bit pale—and a full Dolce wardrobe after all those fatigues.”

Bill O’Reilly, host of The O’Reilly Factor: “A Factor floor mat that says the spin stops here.”

Dr. Garth fisher, plastic surgeon on ABC’s Extreme Makeover: “ ‘Scar revision.’ I’d offer to help her with the reconstruction of any little scars she might have.”

FedExing Pvt. Lynch