Intelligencer: August 15-22

It Happens This Week
• Last Bryant Park alfresco movie: “Jaws.”
• Last SummerStage: Death Cab for Cutie and the Decemberists.
• This season’s last big meta-fictional beach book: “Lunar Park.”
• Neil Diamond at MSG vs. Michael Bolton at Brighton Beach.

Photo: Mitchell Levy/Globe Photos

Freddy Ferrer’sShades of Green
Overconfident operatives pre-plan for victory.
The Democratic primary’s a month away, but some of Freddy Ferrer’s aides are apparently so confident of winning that they’re already contacting top undecided Dems to discuss post-primary strategy and enlist their help against Mayor Bloomberg. One Dem says a top Ferrer adviser called to discuss plans for a “unity” event with all the defeated candidates the day after Freddy’s apparently inevitable (to them, anyway) victory. “They’re saying to people who haven’t yet joined Freddy, ‘Why don’t you come?’ ” says the Dem, adding that it’s reminiscent of 2001, when primary victor Mark Green’s aides started planning their move to City Hall before losing to Bloomberg. “It’s like, Don’t you have to win first?” Ferrer spokesperson Jen Bluestein responds: “Ferrer is fighting to earn every vote and looks forward to a united Democratic fight after primary day.”
—Greg Sargent

Photo: Rick Mackler/Globe Photos

Watch Out forFalling Trannies
Bloodbath at Bendel’s.
At last Tuesday’s Heatherette launch party at Henri Bendel, Amanda Lepore, wearing only diamond pasties and a diamond thong, climbed onto the stage ready to perform her trademark burlesque animal-balloon act. Then she promptly tripped on her five-inch Christian Louboutin stilettos, bloodying her hand and the balloon animal. The shaken Lepore was escorted to the basement security area, where guards cleaned her cut with Bactine and wrapped her wrist in a bandage. “I slipped on the track lighting,” says Lepore. “My high heel broke the bulb, and then the glass cut my hand.” She wasn’t too pleased with the security team’s first-aid skills, though. “They told me it was going to be fine, but I knew it was bad,” says Lepore. “The next day, I went to the hospital and had to get a tetanus shot and a stitch.” “Not to be unsympathetic, but a lot of my friends there were like, ‘Does Amanda really bleed?’ ” says Heatherette designer Richie Rich, a witness to the mayhem. “They thought, like, you know, Shiseido’s going to come out of her pores instead of real blood.”
—Emma Rosenblum

Terror Tax on Stoners
Drug dealers avoid subways, take taxis.
Bag searches are costing New Yorkers more than just time. With the police declaring they’ll arrest subway riders if they find anything nonexplosive but still illegal, the price of drug deliveries is rising. Nervous purveyors are passing along the cost of taxis to customers. “My dealer won’t take the train anymore,” complains Wiley, a 30-year-old marketing executive and avid pot smoker. “He charged me an extra $12 for his cab fare today. It’s ridiculous.” Call it the anti-terror tax. “If the runner’s gotta give a little extra, you’re gonna give a little extra,” says Flower, a grandmother and coke dealer who runs her business from a bar beneath her Lower East Side apartment (and says her clients before the crackdown included a network-news executive). She pauses on her bar stool. “Otherwise, come down here and get it yourself.”
—Tim Gray

Corporate RockBattle of the Bands
Whooooo! Lehmannnnnn!
Who in the financial sector rocks harder than Lehman Brothers? Not Bank of America. Runnin’ Blue, the jazz-blues ensemble that represented the superbank at the Battle of the Corporate Bands at the Knitting Factory, was thrashed by the Fifth, made up of five Lehman employees (most from its Fixed Income Division). “We were shocked we won. We aren’t very good,” said bass player Ken Umezaki, while a company spokesperson listened in. The Fifth’s repertoire includes the Beatles’ “Here Comes the Sun” (“We do a Green Day version of that one”). In October they’ll face off against other regional champs, including Direct Connectors (Nextel) and Spurious Freedom (Texas Instruments), at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. “This is a pleasurable interview compared to what we’re normally quoted about,” said the spokesperson.

If I Were aSpace Priestess
Raelians honor Fiddler on the Roof star Rosie.
People who love aliens love Rosie O’Donnell. She’s been named an honorary “guide” by the Raelian Movement, the E.T.-worshipping sect best known for its enthusiasm for cloning. According to Ricky Roehr, Raelian bishop for the United States, O’Donnell joins a number of “revolutionary artists” who have been unwittingly honored, including Sinéad O’Connor, Lauryn Hill, Linda Ronstadt, and “the president of Venezuela.” O’Donnell’s particular achievement was “starting a cruise line for gays and lesbians” and advocating the right to marry for gays, who, says Roehr, were genetically engineered by their alien creators to be homosexuals, “so what’s the mistake in that?” All honorees have been invited by letter to meet Rael at their October convention in Switzerland. “Usually there’s no response,” Roehr admits. And, in fact, O’Donnell’s publicist, Cindi Berger, was unfamiliar with the Raelians. Brought up to speed, she says, “So now extraterrestrials, Spain, and Canada support gay marriage, and the U.S. doesn’t. Glad to see that outer space is progressive.”
—Jada Yuan

Intelligencer: August 15-22