Ernie Grunfeld attempts to quiet Garden boo-birds by arranging for the Knicks to play remainder of schedule at home against perennial Globetrotters foes the Washington Generals.
To win sympathy for defamation suit against Marla Maples, Chuck Jones walks from Trump Taj to Trump Tower in Manolo Blahnik black stiletto heels.
In support of next CD, Puff Daddy drives his Bentley, in lieu of traditional barrel, over Niagara Falls as Suge Knight fires 9-mm. at him from Maid of the Mist.
To publicize new Trump World Tower as “Tallest in the World,” Donald Trump climbs skeleton of the 90-story building “Human Fly”-style during construction, then cannonballs into the East River.
To underscore his apology to portly pitcher Hideki Irabu for calling him a “fat, pus-sy toad,” George Steinbrenner polishes off 100 tube steaks at the annual Fourth of July hot-dog-eating contest at Nathan’s in Coney Island.
To silence jokes resulting from loss-of-conjugal-relations charges (later revoked) in auto-wreck lawsuit, Howard Safir and wife Carol reinvent the old twenties “flagpole wedding” stunt, renewing vows and attempting to “honeymoon” atop One Police Plaza flagpole.
Siegfried, Roy, and David Copperfield all band together to bury David Blaine alive in some undisclosed Bronx location and don’t tell any of us about it.