Not another MTV show! The Real World Paris is bad enough. C’est vrai. But now MTV has the best reality show (not an oxymoron) of the season with Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica, which trails teen-pop stars Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson around as they adjust to married bliss, or lack thereof. It starts at the wedding (where the priest dwells on Jessica’s virginity), before filming a meal at home (“Nick? Is this tuna? Or is it chicken? The can says Chicken of the Sea.”) Eventually Nick confesses, “It’s times like this when I wish I had a gun.” Nick, No! Then we won’t get to see Celebrity Divorce.
Tuesdays at 10:30 p.m.