Bovine collagen ($400 per shot);
CosmoDerm/CosmoPlast ($600 to $800 per shot);
Restylane ($600 to $850 per shot);
Radiesse ($2,000 per shot);
Hylaform ($600 to $850 per shot);
Captique ($600 to $800 per shot);
ArteFill ($1,000 per shot);
Your own fat ($3,000 for fat removal and first injection; $500 per injection after that).
Laser hair removal ($1,200).
Otoplasty ($7,000 for both ears).
Brow lift ($5,000); LED light therapy ($1,500 for eight treatments); Thermage and Titan laser therapy ($2,500 per treatment).
SMAS face-lift, deep plane face-lift, and short-scar face-lift ($12,000 to $20,000 each).
Blepharoplasty ($7,000 for upper and lower lids); fat injections ($3,000).
Rhinoplasty and alar base resection ($7,500 to $9,000).
YAG Laser (from $500 per treatment).
Endoscopic brow-lift ($5,000).
Post-op facial with lymphatic drainage ($150 to $200).
Glycolic acid or beta peels (from $150);
TCA peel (from $250);
Medium-depth peel ($3,500);
Microdermabrasion ($150 to $250).
Fraxel laser therapy ($1,500 per treatment).
Mid-face-lift ($12,000);silicone implants ($6,500 to $8,000 per pair).
Sculptra ($2,000 to $4,000 per treatment); Restylane SubQ ($1,000 per shot).
Liposuction and minimal-incision neck-lift ($6,000 to $8,000).
Chin implant ($3,000).
Platysmal plication with liposuction ($5,000 to $10,000).
Gemini laser ($800 per treatment).
But Not Everyone Does
Because bird-watching here blows my mind! The other day I saw a hawk kill a pigeon in Prospect Park. The park rangers were there, and I said, “Did you see that?” And they’re like, “Yeah.” And I said, “Birds are eating birds!” And they’re like, “Hawks will eat anything, Ms. Perez.”
Because even the guy who is planning to mug you will stop and say hi, because he’s not really sure—you might be just as crazy as he is.
—Jesse L. Martin