High Times
Annie Nocenti, Editor
Correspondents: Two credentialed reporters; more covering protests. “I have people reporting, and we’ll see what we get. We’re not the most organized publication.”
Burning Issue: “Your right to smoke marijuana.”
Hot Story: The GOP’s Johnny Cash luncheon at Sotheby’s. “The Republican Party’s embracing Johnny Cash is ironic, satirical, hypocritical, absurd.”
News You Can Use: A guide for protesters. “You can look in our guide and say, ‘I wanna be a Missile Dick Chick,’ and we’ll tell you how to hook up with them. Actually, the Missile Dick Chicks welcome anyone.”
YM
Linda Barth, Senior Articles Editor
Correspondents: Three teenage interns and a middle-aged chaperone. “Because they’re not experienced, they will ask any outrageous question they think of.”
Burning Issues: “Everything from college tuition to what’s happening in Iraq and women’s rights.”
Hot Story: Jenna and Barbara. “What it’s like to be watching their dad on the campaign trail.”
Cold Story: “I don’t imagine they have entertainment our readers are interested in.”
Hustler
Mark Cromer, Features Editor
Correspondents: “One female writer will play herself as a call girl and one male writer will pose as a gay party boy.”
Burning Issue: “What hypocrites the Republicans are when it comes to sexuality.”
Hot Story: The after-parties. Of particular interest is California representative David Dreier, a staunch opponent of sexual freedoms. “I think it behooves Dreier to address that issue head on—and I think the Republicans know what I’m talking about.”
Expert Opinion: “The people who are most publicly outraged by healthy depictions of human sexuality are the ones who are into kinky stuff. Just look at John Ashcroft’s face. My guess is he’s not reading Playboy or Hustler—he’s got lesbian bondage rags under his bed.”
Us Weekly
Janice Min, Editor
Correspondents: Just a few. Most of our staff has taken the week off because they don’t want to be in New York during the convention. It’s rating as highly unsexy.
Hot Story: “If Ben Affleck decided to run for office. I mean, my jaw dropped when he was on Larry King with Al Sharpton and Tucker Carlson. It was like the ultimate Us-ification of the media world.”
Burning Issues: “Can our reporters get a downtown cab to Suede without interruptions, and will any celebrities even show up? Everyone in Hollywood is for Kerry. We’re not sending out the force for Charlton Heston and Shannen Doherty.”