Summer in the City: Festival of Lites

Can’t get a seat at Shakespeare in the Park? Plenty of tickets are still available for Shakespeare in the 64th Street Duane Reade and Shakespeare in the Line Outside of Lot 61.

Your brain didn’t go on vacation, either! Check out the Maxim Literary Festival, featuring discussions and readings by Cindy Margolis, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Tom Green, Jewel, and Lillian Ross.

Get ready for Paul Simon in Central Park! He’s not performing, but can usually be found sunning himself in the Sheep Meadow. Approach with caution.

Outdoorsy types will love Taste of New York, a three-month-long alfresco feeding frenzy for New York mosquitoes. (May be canceled on account of spraying.)

Take a stroll with the Silicon Alley Walking Tour, which features stops at empty lofts, reconverted warehouses, and Josh Harris’s apartment.

Since this season isn’t all about having fun, don’t miss Scared Straight!: Upper West Side, a field trip during which liberals visit Al Sharpton in jail, where he frightens them with tales of his “Vieques-celent” adventures.

New York is eBook Country!: This festival does not exist.

And last but not least, don’t forget to attend the Paris and Nicky Hilton Open House.

Summer in the City: Festival of Lites