The Semi-Depressed Museum Worker Zero acts of intercourse, one daylong food binge… The Self-Professed ‘Damaged Goods’ Six resolutions to cease contact with ex… The Horny Editor Visiting the ‘Rents Zero acts of intercourse; six acts of masturbation… The Solo Filmmaker Looking for Harmony Two acts of masturbation; one cervix biopsy… The Cheating Long-Distance Girlfriend Eight acts of masturbation… The Self-Servicing Waiter One Larry Craig men’s-room fantasy… The Saucy Bridezilla Three acts of intercourse; one act of fellatio… The Sexed-Up Comedian With a Boss Crush Three acts of intercourse… The Daddyhunt Dilettante Two acts of intercourse, five acts of masturbation… The Titillating Temp Worker One hookup; two nights of sex… The Sexually Adventurous Brooklyn Dad Three spontaneous erections… The Fat-No-Longer Woman on the Prowl Zero acts of intercourse; two acts of masturbation… The Randy Sonic Toothbrush User Four acts of oral sex; two vibrator playdates… The Sexually Satisfied Student Four acts of intercourse; one dirty text message… The Rabbit-Using Wannabe Slutty Secretary One make-out with a dim-witted mama’s boy… Single, Sex-Free, and in Love With Her First One act of masturbation; one post-office pickup… The Non-Orgasmic Sex Bunny Five acts of intercourse; a missed birth control pill… The Self-Lovin’ Midtowner Three acts of masturbation… The Sexually Frustrated Writer Zero acts of intercourse; a dozen Vicodin… The Spicy Undergraduate Maid One act of naked groping in the park… The Horny Hedgie Three unsuccessful intercourse attempts… The Royal Duchess of Sluttiness Seven acts of intercourse… The Unfulfilled Circus Performer Three acts of intercourse, two while asleep… The Horny Mommy One missed quickie opportunity… The Horny Waitress Two acts of intercourse; one sexy dream… The Hot, Busy Trainer One drunken make-out session… The Single, Hopeful, Unemployed Guy Lots of frank talk and flirtation… The Phone-Sex Operator Zero actual orgasms while on the phone… The Recent Graduate Two make-out sessions; three acts of intercourse… The Pregnant Waitress Two instances of flirting with boss… The Randy Opera Singer Three acts of intercourse… The Potential Future Sex Worker Three acts of intercourse; one sexual proposition… The Mid-Divorce Mother One erotic dream; one act of masturbation… The Peripatetic Hot Young Thing Excessive texting; two graphic IM sessions… The Busy Freelancer Three erections; one erotic massage… The Twentysomething Mistress Three acts of intercourse; one lost condom… The Lesbian Player Three acts of intercourse… The Separated Fortysomething Six acts of intercourse; one act of masturbation…