What brands do you sell?
The big boys: Callaway, TaylorMade, Ping.
What 2007 item are you excited about?
Square drivers. Also, the highest-tech launch monitor available debuts here this month. There are only six in the country. Phil Mickelson and Annika Sorenstam are fit on this; it’s by appointment, $100 an hour, and the unbelievably accurate data helps us know what kind of equipment is good for you.
What are the best courses around here?
Bethpage is hard to beat. Another public course with a high-end daily fee is Centennial Golf Club. It’s immaculate and only about an hour away.
Best way to learn?
Take classes at Chelsea Piers, or go to the outdoor range at Randalls Island. There’s a shuttle bus that picks you up at East 86th Street. The new golf-specific gym called Drive 495 costs $5,000, and is less interesting.
What are some good one-liners a novice can employ to impersonate a golfer?
Golf is all about acronyms. Ask, “What’s the COR of your driver?” COR stands for the coefficient of restitution, or the amount of deflection off the face of a club. It can’t deflect too much—the limit is .83.
What about on the green?
Caddyshack culty stuff, like, if I want you to miss a putt, I’ll say, “Noooooonan. Noooonan.” I don’t know why it’s funny, but it is. If someone compliments you, say, “Thank you very little.”