Freshly tanned (and newly single), I wanted to show off my legs in the new short shorts. So I headed to Intermix and grabbed this white pair by Felix. I loved the twisting, silver tasseled belt. But the shorts hit so low on my hips, you could see my thong line through the large loops. And the sheer linen material was already starting to wrinkle. By the summer’s end, the shorts would need some serious Botox. 365 Bleecker St., nr. Charles St.; 212-929-7180.
Next I headed to Bebe, a store I used to spend most of my ninth-grade allowance in. Sadly, the clothes look significantly less desirable now. I was saved from trying on hot pants by these black shorts from the Glamour Satin line. I liked the three cute front buttons and the white piping on the pockets. But the wildly cuffed hemline made my thighs look thicker than I could handle. 100 Fifth Ave., at 15th St.; 212-675-2323.
The uptown Prada store was out of jewel-toned shorts from the spring runway, but I tracked down a pair in the Soho flagship. After the aggressive shop clerk made me pull up my dress in front of everyone so she could guess my size, I was rewarded with divine pleated shorts. The royal-purple color would easily transition from a day in Prospect Park to a night at the Box. 575 Broadway, nr. Prince St.; 212-334-8888.
At Forever 21, there was a huge selection of tiny shorts to choose from, but the ones I liked best were actually waiting for me in the dressing room, discarded by a previous shopper—luckily in my size. The “Line Art” shorts had a graphic rose print that was romantic without being overly girlie. And for just $19.80, I didn’t even mind that the cotton fabric was on the cheap side. 40 E. 14th St., nr. University Pl.; 212-228-0598.
Further south, at Opening Ceremony, most of the shorts reached to my knees, save for this off-white “Knot waist” pair with pale gray stripes. After slipping them on, I became convinced that I’d found shorts that even Kate Moss couldn’t pull off. The horizontal strips of fabric that tied into a bow gave the illusion of saddlebags. And the clingy cut hugged my inner thighs, echoing a boxer-brief silhouette. The price was way too much to spend on boys’ underwear with a big bow on the crotch, so I bought some new jeans instead. 35 Howard St., nr. Crosby St.; 212-219-2688.
At Henri Bendel, I found a cute pair of shorts by McQ, Alexander McQueen’s younger and cheaper line. The cotton seersucker fabric was a refreshing change from winter’s heavier fabrics, and the removable overall straps added extra, cheeky flair. Trying them on, I felt like an overly flirty candy striper. Unfortunately, the zigzagging red-and-white pattern could only be at home on an Oceanside boardwalk—or a roller derby. 712 Fifth Ave., nr. 56th St.; 212-247-1100.
The selection at
Strolling by Juicy Couture, I spotted a pair of hot-pink shorts. I’d been craving color, so I ducked in. Also available in blue, these drawstring shorts with two front pockets would have been alright for lounging around my apartment. But I would feel too much like an extra from Legally Blonde if I wore them out in public, especially since the terry-cloth material was shaped into small hearts. 368 Bleecker St., at Charles St..; 646-336-8151.