A couple of months ago, after years and years of joyfully spending $16 on açai bowls and wood-fired pizzas, I punched in some numbers in some dumb online retirement calculator and got super-scared and decided to become a hair-shirted monk who got up early and packed his lunch every goddamned day. I did not want to have to work until I was 78 years old, so I decided to suddenly morph into an incredibly organized spendthrift who baked a pan of lasagna on Sunday afternoon and portioned it out over the week.
To transform myself into a lunch-bringer, I knew I needed something I was proud to carry, something to class up my pita chips and my crustless PB&J, something that was the calming color of a Miami beachfront hotel. After a bit of online sleuthing, I found this lovely double-layered ice-blue Takenaka Bento Box and snapped it up immediately.
Research has shown that for something to become a habit, you have to do it 1,826 days in a row. Or something like that. I didn’t make it quite that long. I lugged my lunch to work for three sad and difficult days before I said “screw retirement” and went back to the simple pleasures of buying a lunch I hadn’t gotten up early to prepare. I set my bento box on top of my fridge, another stark reminder of my lack of will.
A couple of weeks later, I decided to get high and watch Ted Lasso. And when I was opening the Tupperware container that held my stash, with its soup-stained bottom and a cracked lid that often dried out my weed much quicker than it should’ve, I noticed my bento box sitting there, gathering dust. In a rare moment of inspiration, I opened the box and stuck my weed in it.
And let me tell you, this off-label use of my bento box has worked incredibly well. It is wonderful for storing and organizing everything I need to get high. It has multiple compartments that are great for separating my flower from my edibles and my shatter from my dab. There’s an airtight plastic top that separates the two layers, and that plastic top has an indentation which normally would house a fork, but now snuggly holds my vaporizer. I love how spacious this box is — it’s big enough to hold a couple months’ worth of supply for future lockdowns or other random apocalyptic events. And anytime I start getting anxious about the fact that I’m probably never going to have enough money to retire, I just open my bento box and eat or smoke something, and the impending doom about my future totally disappears.
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