Displaying all articles tagged:
Animals
political animals
May 4, 2021
Would You Vote for This Bear? “The Beast” would like to be California’s next governor.
By Claire Lampen
On Top of Everything, Major Biden Must Now Coexist With a Cat The Bidens are reportedly introducing another pet into the mix.
By Claire Lampen
new duck alert
Apr. 29, 2021
By Mia Mercado
Apparently Otters Can Get COVID A romp of “geriatric” otters tested positive at the Georgia Aquarium.
By Claire Lampen
Have You Seen This Beefy Boy? Darius, the world’s longest rabbit, is missing in action.
By Claire Lampen
The Bunnies Still Need Our Help Taika Waititi, Zac Efron, and Olivia Munn are campaigning for the ban of cosmetic testing on animals with a new short film.
By Erica Smith
Please Tell Us More About Your Pet Owl, Salma Hayek It’s named after her husband’s luxury-goods conglomerate.
By Andrew Nguyen
Poo Incident at the White House Two likely suspects have emerged after a pile of feces appeared outside the Diplomatic Reception Room.
By Claire Lampen
Biden’s Dogs Are Back in the White House One has received some training following a scandalous “biting incident.”
By Claire Lampen
i like this bitch’s life
Mar. 9, 2021
I Envy These Self-Decapitating Slugs What the hell kind of sorcery is this??
By Claire Lampen
Biden’s Dog Bit Someone Major and Champ Biden have been sent back to Delaware, according to someone “familiar with the dogs’ schedule.”
By Madeleine Aggeler
Apes at the San Diego Zoo Got COVID Vaccines (Don’t freak out, it’s a special animal-only jab.)
By Madeleine Aggeler
Lena Dunham Didn’t Know Her New HBO Max Show Used Real Cat Corpses The scene, which had actors dissecting dead cats, will be edited out.
By Devon Ivie
Congrats to This Puppy for Winning the Super Bowl Chunky Monkey was the breakout star of the Puppy Bowl, and honestly the Super Bowl as well.
By Claire Lampen
Please, This Bat, He’s Very Old Statler is a 33-year-old fruit bat who enjoys “a warm facial and gentle brushes.”
By Claire Lampen
Giant Pandas Are Having the Best Snow Day Watch the National Zoo residents throw all caution to the wind and lunge their burly bodies down a snowy hill.
By Amanda Arnold
keeping up with the royals
Jan. 24, 2021
We Welcome the Rumored Royal Pup Prince William and Kate Middleton have reportedly acquired a puppy.
By Claire Lampen
Finally, Science Has Allowed Us to Gaze Upon a Dinosaur’s Orifice A paleontologist says the newly discovered dinosaur butthole specimen is “perfect” and “unique.”
By Amanda Arnold
The ‘Cocaine Hippos’ Are Out of Control Eighty to 100 invasive hippos are running roughshod over Colombia’s Magdalena river basin — and scientists fear their ranks could swell.
By Claire Lampen
A Manatee Was Found With ‘Trump’ Scraped Into Its Back Authorities are investigating the disfigurement, which is illegal under state and federal laws.
By Amanda Arnold
The Rats Have Taken Over a Chipotle Workers say they have taken to murdering cat-size rats, who love guacamole, by “stomping on them.”
By Bridget Read
Bless This Teeny Possum A little pygmy possum discovered on Kangaroo Island in Australia is the first of its species spotted after the bushfires.
By Claire Lampen
celebrity couples
Dec. 4, 2020
Show Me a Better Fairy-Tale Ending Pumpkin and Harris (both otters) were heartbroken after the deaths of their partners. Then their sanctuaries had them try online dating.
By Amanda Arnold
This Gorgeous Craigslist Pig Couch Deserves Better Here’s the true story behind this arresting piece of furniture.
By Hannah Gold
Millions of Mink Slaughtered in Denmark Over Health Concerns Government officials fear the mink could carry a dangerous mutation of COVID-19.
By Hannah Gold
I Wish a Whale Would Try to Swallow Me Shocking video footage shows a humpback appearing to nearly swallow a kayak. (Everyone was fine.) But honestly it does sound sort of nice …
By Amanda Arnold
Can Pets See Ghosts? We asked the experts, and some of them got back to us.
By Madeleine Aggeler
And Now, a Sinkhole Full of Rats A New York sidewalk split and swallowed its victim, plunging him into a rat pit.
By Claire Lampen
Scientists Hit Murder Hornet Motherlode The Washington State Department of Agriculture has located and destroyed its first nest.
By Claire Lampen
niche drama
Oct. 22, 2020
There’s Drama in the Queer Penguin Community A conspiring gay couple has stolen an entire nest of eggs from a lesbian couple at the same zoo.
By Amanda Arnold
con artists
Oct. 19, 2020
Beloved Little Primate Called Out as Toxic, Poisonous Schemer Slow lorises are not the sweet angles we might have thought, a new study finds.
By Madeleine Aggeler
tyger tyger
Oct. 15, 2020
Give This Photograph of a Tiger Hugging a Tree All the Awards This image of a blissed-out large cat enjoying nature deserves them all.
By Hannah Gold
american heros
Oct. 7, 2020
By Amanda Arnold
fat bear week
Oct. 7, 2020
All Hail Our New Fat Bear King Let’s give it up for the Earl of Avoirdupois, the winner of this year’s Fat Bear Week.
By Amanda Arnold
celebrity couples
Oct. 5, 2020
Please Let These Lonely Otters Fall in Love Online dating has brought together two bereaved otters in captivity.
By Amanda Arnold
why is your skin so good
Sept. 23, 2020
How Do Dolphins Get Their Skin So Good? A marine biologist reveals the real secrets to achieving the “dolphin skin” trend.
By Erica Smith
Hundreds of Whales Are Dying on Australia’s Coast Roughly 500 whales have washed up so far — making this one of the worst mass strandings in history.
By Madeleine Aggeler
This Is by Far Martha Stewart’s Most Deranged Home Advice Why does she keep insisting that we should all bathe our cats?
By Madeleine Aggeler
Damn, That’s a Lot of Giant Sperm for One Tiny Crustacean Scientists have discovered a massive ancient sperm sample from a tiny ostracod.
By Amanda Arnold
flying above the drama
Sept. 16, 2020
T’Challa’s Real Housewife Behavior, Explained by a Parrot Expert The Real Housewives of Potomac ’s rising star has already left his (claw) mark on this season, but is he cut out for the reality-TV lifestyle?
By Gabe Bergado
recommendations
Sept. 15, 2020
The Love Story We All Need Right Now Watch this gorgeous documentary about the love between a man and an octopus — and weep over the beauty and majesty of life.
By Amanda Arnold
I Think About Olivia Newton-John’s ‘Dolphin Song’ a Lot There’s no larger metaphor, no innuendo, no irony. It’s just a song about dolphins.
By Dina Gachman
mysteries of the deep
Sept. 13, 2020
Are the Orcas Exacting Their Revenge? Killer whales have reportedly been bullying boats in the Strait of Gibraltar.
By Claire Lampen
A Celibate Snake Just Laid 7 Eggs??? May this elderly, independent ball python serve as an inspiration to us all.
By Amanda Arnold
missing animals
Sept. 10, 2020
By Madeleine Aggeler
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