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Ballsy Crimes

  1. slips of the tongue
    Yup, Former IBM Chief and Galleon Accomplice Were Boning, U.S. Attorney’s Office ConfirmsWhat? He wouldn’t have mentioned it if it weren’t germane to the case.
  2. textual relations
    Raj Rajaratnam and Rachel Uchitel Are Upset About Being Taken Out of ContextDuh.
  3. ballsy crimes
    Blagojevich Looking to Subpoena the PresidentObama’s the only one who can provide an explanation, defense says.
  4. ballsy crime
    New York Ponzi Schemers Spent Ill-gotten Gains on a ‘Sexually Themed Cruise’How else would they celebrate?
  5. fi-cri fallout
    John Paulson Responds to Charges Against Goldman Sachs“Not our problem,” pretty much sums it up.
  6. fi-cri fallout
    Maybe John Paulson Should Have Been Nicer to Paolo Pellegrini (Updated)Hell hath no fury like a hedge-fund manager scorned.
  7. fi-cri fallout
    Goldman’s ‘Fabulous Fab’ Expected to Be the Only One Left Standing When the Market CollapsedThe Goldman VP was impressed with himself for figuring out how to game the system with “complex, highly leveraged, exotic trades he created without necessarily understanding all of the implications!”
  8. ballsy crime
    The SEC Will Never Squeeze Anything From the StonesJeffrey Stone says he has “no intention of ever paying” the regulators who accused him of running a pump-and-dump scheme.
  9. ballsy crime
    Breaking: Some Psychics May Be Frauds“Intuitive psychic” Laura Day is the latest soothsayer to be accused of unsavory behavior.
  10. fauxialites
    At Least Nydia Vegas Reeves Knows How to Make an EntranceA notorious ‘faux’cialite sweeps back into town.
  11. ballsy crime
    Chris Orsaris Stole $7 Million in Order to Fund the DreamAnd the dream, in his case, involved a yacht named “Blow Me.”
  12. white men with broken hearts
    Former IBM Executive Gets Misty After Pleading Guilty to Insider TradingBob Moffat was just trying to help out his “friend.”
  13. daffy old folks
    Wacky Old Couple in Jell-O CaperA couple of sexagenarians are busted for what at first seemed like a fool-poof operation.
  14. Money Manager’s Death-Faking Flight Was Totally Awesome, Exhilarating“It felt like my face was just going to explode,” says accused Ponzi-schemer Marcus Schrenker.
  15. ballsy crime
    Friendly Robber Wishes Victims WellNot all robbers are bad people, it turns out.
  16. made-off
    Two Computer Programmers Indicted for Role in Madoff SchemeThe men are reportedly intending to plea not guilty.
  17. stupid crime of the day
    Robber and Person He’s Trying to Rob Have Polite, Awkward InteractionA heartwarming New York story.
  18. ballsy crime
    Depressed Thieves Steal $70 Million Worth of ProzacAt least, we assume they were depressed. Why else would they have turned to a life of crime?
  19. ballsy crimes
    Former Park Avenue Bank President Becomes First TARP Fraud ArrestCharles Antonucci is charged with ten counts of embezzlement of fraud, each worth up to 30 years.
  20. ballsy crime
    Park Avenue Bank CEO Wanted to Use TARP Money to Fund a ‘Lavish Lifestyle’Now he is wearing track pants in jail.
  21. ballsy crime
    ‘Malaysian Minister of Finance II of Malaysia’ Is ‘Real Sorry’ About Bernie MadoffAccording to awesome fake website.
  22. ballsy crime
    ‘Psychic’ Investment Adviser Charged With FraudTurns out he cannot actually predict the future.
  23. the children of new york
    Twelve-Year-Old Arrested for RobberyKids today.
  24. made-off
    Harry Markopolos Considered ‘Taking Out’ Bernie Madoff“I was going to drive down to New York and take him out.”
  25. made-off
    Bernie Madoff’s Daughter-in-Law Finally Decides to Change Her NameIt’s about time.
  26. ballsy crime
    A Sign Your Hedge-Fund Manager May Be Committing FraudHe purchases a custom-designed Lamborghini with a rhinestone-bedazzled logo.
  27. jerks
    Bernie Kerik Has a Special Project to Keep Him Occupied in PrisonThe disgraced police commissioner has literary aspirations.
  28. ballsy crime
    Rabbi Accused of Trying to Extort Millions From Mysterious ‘Connecticut Hedge Fund’Hmmm, which one, we wonder?
  29. ballsy crime
    Worst One-Night Stand EverAn anonymous encounter goes bad.
  30. made-off
    Madoff Penthouse Will Soon Be Filled With ToysThe brains behind the Cabbage Patch Kids is its new owner.
  31. made-off
    Madoff Relatives Agree To Assest FreezeThat’s what happens when you siphon off $198 million to pay for clothes.
  32. made-off
    Madoff Penthouse Goes Into ContractOnly one of the convicted Ponzi schemer’s remaining palatial properties is still on the market.
  33. ballsy crime
    Woman Who Glued Man’s Penis to His Stomach Admits She ‘Overreacted’Her bad.
  34. the children of the most important people in the world
    Wow, Michael Douglas’s Son Is Going to Jail for Ten YearsAt least.
  35. slippery when wet
    Minnesota Ponzi-Schemer Jailed for Refusing to Relinquish Submarine, Concert TicketsCan you blame him?
  36. cribs ponzi edition
    The Home That Housed Hundreds of Nattily Dressed Teddy BearsPonzi-schemer Paul Greenwood’s Westchester mansion goes on the market.
  37. ballsy crimes
    David Paterson’s Son ArrestedHe was shooting dice and had a stolen credit card.
  38. joy and pang
    Danny Pang’s Death Ruled a SuicideAccused of fraud, the financier decided it was better to burn out than to fade away.
  39. ballsy crime
    McKinsey Employee Pleads Guilty in Galleon CaseSad Anil Kumar “choked up and wept” as he apologized for insider trading.
  40. ballsy crime
    Raj Rajaratnam’s Insider Trading Was Worse Than Anyone ThoughtWe hope he enjoyed the dwarfs, because the rest of his life is going to suck.
  41. ballsy crimes
    Alleged Rajaratnam Co-Conspirator BucklesMcKinsey partner Anil Kumar, writer of awesome pop songs, looks ready to make a deal with prosecutors.
  42. ballsy crimes
    Raj Rajaratnam Liked Dwarfs, Stun Guns, and Hot Sauce“In the conference room was a dwarf whom Mr. Rajaratnam introduced as an analyst hired to cover ‘small-cap’ stocks.”
  43. ballsy state senators
    State Senate Set to Spank Hiram MonserrateHe may even get expelled.
  44. ballsy crimes
    AP Declares 2009 the Year of the Ponzi SchemeWere you taken in by a Ponzi scheme this year? Don’t be ashamed. You’re not alone.
  45. ballsy crime
    Raj Rajaratnam and Danielle Chiesi Plead Not Guilty to Insider TradingBut one of them is guilty, at least, of being sultry in the first degree!
  46. ballsy crime
    Bernie Kerik’s Bangin’ New BodThe former police commissioner has been beefing up in preparation for prison.
  47. ballsy crime
    Criminal Charges Filed Against Galleon Founder, AccompliceRaj Rajaratnam and Danielle Chiesi are indicted.
  48. made-off
    Now People Are Falsifying Madoff Memorabilia“It’s a fraud encrypted in a fraud.”
  49. ballsy crimes
    Police Kill Queens Karaoke Buzz, Bust Ketamine RingThirty were arrested after the cops found Ketamine and counterfeit cigarettes galore on Saturday night.
  50. ballsy crime
    Rajaratnam’s Brother’s Hedge Fund Was Also Being Investigated by the SECIt’s a family affair!
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