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Crazy Town
Drunk Dude Wins $2.3 Million Off Cash-Strapped MTA Hey everybody, did you know you could be set for life if you just pass out in that warm, muddy spot in the middle of the train tracks?
By Chris Rovzar
all celebrities are friends with one another
Feb. 9, 2009
Renée Zellweger and Dan Abrams: Things That Make You Go ‘Hmmm’ No, no. It made us actually go, ‘WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING ON??’ That’s what we meant.
By Chris Rovzar
the greatest depression
Feb. 9, 2009
By Chris Rovzar
white men with money
Feb. 4, 2009
By Chris Rovzar
This Guy’s Nanny Is Worse Than Your Nanny She lied, she stole, and then her husband got beat up for no good reason.
By Chris Rovzar
Spitzer Madams’ Fortunes: One Goes Up, the Other Goes Down One Spitzer madam gets locked up for six months while another finds a way to make money off her woes.
By Chris Rovzar
Defending the ‘Dating a Banker Anonymous’ Girls Maybe talking about how your boyfriend is a loser isn’t so abnormal after all.
By Katie Goldsmith
When Robbing Banks, Be Careful What You Use for Your Demand Note Don’t, for example, use the back of an envelope with your address on it.
By Chris Rovzar
A Good Thing About Living in NYC: No Reason to Stay in Dirtiest Hotel in America If your parents complain about your tiny, grungy apartment when they come to visit, put them up in the Carter.
By Chris Rovzar
Possibly Corrupt Transit Official Rolling in Furs, Flat-Screens But maybe they were just that kind of fur that people wear on the subway.
By Chris Rovzar
Midtown Twentysomething Thinks NYC Is O-V-E-R Sometimes the ‘Times’ gives us such a headache.
By Chris Rovzar
SJP May Want Britney to Appear in Next Sex and the City Movie Somebody’s stylist gave them their Bad Idea Jeans this morning.
By Chris Rovzar
FIT Giggly Coke Girls Achieve the Impossible They turn drug dealing into a nonprofit enterprise.
By Chris Rovzar
Patti LuPone Gives ’Em Hell on the Way Out A tantrum during her penultimate performance in ‘Gypsy’ gave fans just what they wanted: a dose of pure Patti.
By Chris Rovzar
Today in Shirtless Crime Busts Pervs and muggers, beware being caught topless.
By Chris Rovzar
neighborhood watch
Jan. 2, 2009
The People Who Went in Coney Water Yesterday Are Not Real People They call themselves Polar Bears, but they are really temperature-free swimbots.
By Tim Murphy
Olivia Palermo: Everything You Need to Know Just discovering MTV’s new girl? We’ve known her for years.
By Chris Rovzar
Honestly, Who Doesn’t Throw a Shoe These Days? A protester tried to hurl one at an MTA board member during a meeting over fare hikes and service cuts.
By Chris Rovzar
Getting Busted for Coke Dealing Is Surprisingly Hilarious We would think it would be terrifying. Apparently, not so.
By Chris Rovzar
the sports section
Dec. 4, 2008
Plaxico’s Web of Disaster Expands A whole lot more people are going down for the idiotic shooting incident over the weekend.
By Chris Rovzar
Old Ladies Continue Winning Streak Against Thugs Yet another great stupid thug story from the New York ‘Post.’
By Chris Rovzar
neighborhood watch
Dec. 3, 2008
The Mysterious Baby-Pacifier Tree of Borough Park They’re gross to look at up close, but it’s pretty from a distance!
By Tim Murphy
So Plaxico Burress Walked Into a Bar… What happened after the Giants hero shot himself in the leg at a midtown bar on Friday night? Jokes, of course.
By Chris Rovzar
Al Qaeda Eyeing NYC Subways Presumably because their own tunnels weren’t disgusting enough.
By Chris Rovzar
What Would You Put on Seventeen Stories in Times Square? There’s a new giant billboard in Times Square just waiting for your input.
By Chris Rovzar
Seven Ways to Tell That You, Mr. Purse Snatcher, Are Not a Man How a story from the tabloids can teach us a little about chivalry.
By Chris Rovzar
We Need to Talk About You Drinking on Your Stoop Don’t be alarmed that we’re all here. We just want to chat.
By Chris Rovzar
Brooklyn ‘Real World’: Everything Has Changed A new trailer tries to convince MTV viewers that this season will be DIFFERENT.
By Chris Rovzar
All-Important ‘Thriller’ Dancing Record Broken Seventy-three people showed up to dance as zombies in the largest-ever re-creation of Michael Jackson’s iconic video.
By Chris Rovzar
‘Page Six’ Busts Lyin’ Lydia Hearst She doesn’t write her own columns, she DID say mean things about Hearst Corp., and that’s not even her real last name!
By Chris Rovzar
Chunk Joins a Gang There’s a new gang in Williamsburg named the Pretty Boy Goonies. Forgive us, but we couldn’t resist.
By Chris Rovzar
Christie Brinkley’s Media Control Christie Brinkley has filed a restraining order to prevent Peter Cook from showing their children his Barbara Walters interview tonight.
By Chris Rovzar
Post-Divorce Shocker: Peter Cook Blames Failed Marriage on Brinkley In his upcoming interview with Barbara Walters, Christie Brinkley’s ex tells his side of the story. Also, he cries like a little girl.
By Chris Rovzar
Did You Know New York Has a ‘Dungeon Alley’? A group of dominatrices is getting together to spread the word about this new hood.
By Chris Rovzar
We Check In on David Blaine We sent our reporter to watch him as he went through the first 24 hours of his 60-hour stint of hanging upside-down in Central Park. He doesn’t look so hot. Anybody remember when that dude used to do magic?
By Vanita Salisbury
Heather Mills to Donate $1 Million in Food to Hunts Point Children’s Charity Tomorrow, Paul McCartney’s ex-wife will make a presentation to the children of the South Bronx — and grill some meatless hot dogs, to boot!
By Chris Rovzar
Possible Dinosaur Hooker Ring Busted in Tribeca A den of dominatrices with potentially funny habits was just raided by vice cops downtown.
By Chris Rovzar
It’s the End of the Summer: Time to Share Your Nightmare-Intern Stories! Had a bad intern this summer or in seasons past? Tell us about it! (No, not, like, ‘tell us about it’ — our own interns are great. We mean actually describe him or her to us in the comments section!)
Tricia Walsh-Smith Takes On Kathie Lee Gifford The bitter ex-wife of Shubert Organization president Philip Smith finds a new target — incorrectly accusing the ‘Today’ show host of plotting her death.
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