Hillary Clinton Is the UndeciderLast night we flipped on MSNBC, hoping to unwind with a little To Catch a Predator, but alas, the presidential debates were in full swing. We sure tuned in at the right time, though: Hillary Clinton, known for being the most well-rehearsed and cautious Democratic candidate, turned positively Rumsfeldian. She adamantly refused to answer “hypotheticals” — basically anything about what she would do as president. She dodged all difficult, potentially controversial questions through the rote repetition of universally agreed-upon generalizations (Hillary is for fiscal responsibility and fighting terrorism, in case you were wondering). But it was when she refused to answer a question about baseball that her reticence became truly absurd. When Clinton, a Chicago native, was pressed by host Tim Russert on who she would root for in a Yankees vs. Cubs World Series, she hedged her bets: “Well, I would probably have to alternate sides,” she said. Jeez, lady. At least Bill knew he preferred briefs. Bush’s “The Decider” persona may suck, but Hillary’s “Undecider” routine is getting just as tired. —Dan Amira
Hill Country Pits Graffiti Grows Worse Each DayHill Country was born old. The day it opened, its walls and air vents had been painstakingly smoked-stained, and its floors distressed to look as if 10,000 gluttons had waddled across it over the years. But the pits were brand-new. Not so anymore: After one summer of operation, they’re now signed with the regards of dozens of chefs, politicians, celebrities, and members of the barbecue underground.