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Jerks

  1. jerks
    Meet the Guy Who Told the World About Christine O’Donnell’s PubesAccording to his snitchy friend, Dustin Dominiak wrote that terrible Gawker piece.
    By Dan Amira
  2. jerks
    The Fall’s Mark E. Smith Keeps Rock Curmudgeonliness Alive“We were playing a festival in Dublin the other week. There was this other group like, warming up in the next sort of chalet, and they were terrible. I said ‘shut them cunts up.’”
    By Amos Barshad
  3. jerks
    Osama Bin Laden Living in ‘Relative Comfort’Somewhere in Pakistan, obviously.
    By Dan Amira
  4. jerks
    When ‘Whore’ Is Too KindAn assemblyman lashes out at Westboro Baptist Church demonstrators.
    By Dan Amira
  5. jerks
    Creepy District Attorney Couldn’t Understand Why Hot Domestic-Abuse Victim Resisted His SextsGuess she wasn’t the nymph he took her for.
    By Dan Amira
  6. well then
    Women’s Magazine Fudges Its Age“Twenty-three seems lame; 23 seems old.”
    By Jessica Pressler
  7. early and often
    Apparently Peter King Thinks It Is Still 2004And gay people will be able to scare conservatives to the polls again.
    By Chris Rovzar
  8. the bachelorette
    The Bachelorette Gets Rejected, For OnceAli gets rejected by Frank. Boom!
    By Emma Rosenblum
  9. little monsters
    Lady Gaga Versus the Westboro Baptist ChurchAhh! Real monsters tried to mess with the little monsters.
    By Mike Vilensky
  10. jerks
    Smoking on Planes Isn’t Really That RareIn the past five years, 696 jerks have been charged for lighting up in the air.
    By Adam K. Raymond
  11. vampire crime of the day
    Police Are on the Lookout for Man Who Bit Taxi DriverThis ‘Twilight’ fad has really gone too far.
    By Dan Amira
  12. jerks
    John McCain’s Primary Opponent Pulls a Rick SantorumMan on dog? How about man on horse!
    By Dan Amira
  13. jerks
    Your Taxi Driver Is Probably Stealing From YouOver 35,000 cabbies have overcharged their customers in the past 26 months.
    By Dan Amira
  14. jerks
    Murderous Long Island Mom at Least Looked Hot in Her Mug ShotSomeone’s getting a date when she gets out of jail in a few decades!
    By Dan Amira
  15. jerks
    Jim Bunning Wins, the Unemployed LoseThe Kentucky Senator has successfully allowed unemployment benefits to lapse.
    By Adam K. Raymond
  16. jerks
    Bernie Kerik Has a Special Project to Keep Him Occupied in PrisonThe disgraced police commissioner has literary aspirations.
    By Jessica Pressler
  17. jerks
    Spider-Man’s Uncle Sentences Bernard Kerik to Four YearsJudge was inspired by Spider-Man, apparently.
    By Dan Amira
  18. thieves
    Gym Thieves Provide Another Excuse to Not Work OutJust what we’ve been looking for!
    By Adam K. Raymond
  19. neighborhood news
    Someone, Possibly a Terrorist, Has Stolen a Brooklyn School’s Fiberglass CowWHYYYYYY!!!!!!
    By Dan Amira
  20. Andrew Young’s Book Confirms Much of What We Already Knew About John EdwardsIt seems John Edwards is a self-indulgent egomaniac.
    By Adam K. Raymond
  21. People Really Hate John EdwardsLike, more than they hate anyone else.
    By Adam K. Raymond
  22. jerks
    Snooki Sucker-Puncher in Search of a New JobBrad Ferro, 24, is about to be fired.
    By Mark Graham
  23. jerks
    Pregnant Lady Hit by Car Wants an ApologyIs that unreasonable?
    By Dan Amira
  24. balloon dad
    Balloon Dad Is Going to Jail, Must Apologize for Being a JerkAnd he can’t make any money from this, either.
    By Dan Amira
  25. jerks
    Indifferent EMTs Have Yet to Become Good People, Says SomeoneA co-worker says the EMTs don’t feel bad about it.
    By Dan Amira
  26. jerks
    Balloon Parents Owe $42,000 for the Best Prank of 2009But they don’t plan to pay.
    By Adam K. Raymond
  27. jerks
    Indifferent EMTs Won’t Be Around to Not Save You for a WhileCoal-hearted emergency workers have been suspended pending an investigation.
    By Dan Amira
  28. jerks
    White Powder Scares at American Express, Bank of AmericaCoincidence?
    By Jessica Pressler
  29. jerks
    GOP Congressman Rethinks That Thing He Said About Bloomberg’s Daughter Being KidnappedWay to go, John Shadegg!
    By Dan Amira
  30. jerks
    Balloon Dad ‘Falls on His Sword’Not literally, unfortunately.
    By Dan Amira
  31. jerks
    Which Is Crazier: Mailing Fake Anthrax to the U.N. or Mailing Real Anthrax to the U.N.?It’s an age-old question.
    By Dan Amira
  32. jerks
    Bernie Kerik Will Spend the Next Couple of Weeks in JailThat means no trick-or-treating.
    By Adam K. Raymond
  33. ballsy crimes
    Angry Judge Throws Bernie Kerik in JailA “toxic combination of self-minded focus and arrogance.”
    By Adam K. Raymond
  34. neighborhood news
    Update: Westboro Protesters Vastly Outnumbered by Counter-Protesting BrooklynitesProtest greeted by crowds of ill-wishers.
    By Lindsay Robertson
  35. neighborhood news
    Westboro Baptists to Show Brooklyn ‘God Haters’ What Is UpThe crazies are descending on Brooklyn Technical High School this afternoon.
    By Jessica Pressler
  36. white men with money
    Michael Moore’s New Documentary Was Made for a Very Specific AudienceAnd it’s not just liberal conspiracy theorists.
    By Jessica Pressler
  37. jerks
    People Possibly Scummier Than Qaddafi, Ahmadinejad Are Descending on New YorkThe vile anti-gay (and anti-everything) Westboro Baptist Church is embarking on an annoying, whirlwind tour of the state starting Thursday.
    By Dan Amira
  38. jerks
    Bin Laden Offers Americans More Advice to IgnoreWe wonder if he’s ever thought of using reverse psychology?
    By Dan Amira
  39. lame?
    Tonight Lego Is Gonna Prohibit the Use of Its Product in a DVD TonightThe cruel masters at Lego have denied Spinal Tap permission to use video of their figures on an upcoming DVD, just because of a joke about statutory rape.
    By Lane Brown
  40. jerks
    Lead Singer of Sloan Injured in Hit-and-Run AccidentFortunately, Chris Murphy is expected to make a full recovery.
    By Mark Graham
  41. jerks
    Skin-Care Tips From Senator Hiram MonserrateNot the guy we expected to discuss the benefits of avocado.
    By Dan Amira
  42. jerks
    Osama Once Visited AmericaIf only he’d seen Disney World instead of Indiana.
    By Dan Amira
  43. jerks
    Benicio Del Toro’s Somewhere Cameo Spoiled by Pop BandIn a blog post, Rooney unwittingly revealed a heretofore-unannounced appearance by Del Toro in Sofia Coppola’s new movie.
    By Lane Brown
  44. stand clear of the closing doors
    MTA Reminds People to Not Be JerksBut it may not be so easy.
    By Dan Amira
  45. crazy town
    Scam Artist’s Greatest Crime: Ruining PsychoDon’t read if you haven’t seen ‘Psycho’!
    By Dan Amira
  46. jerks
    John Edwards Still Not Sure Whether Presidential Run Was WiseMmmm, no, it wasn’t.
    By Dan Amira
  47. google
    World’s Richest Internet Company Not Wasting Money on ArtSome illustrators are bristling over a request from Google to provide artwork free of charge for the company’s upcoming web browser. But others said yes!
    By Lane Brown
  48. jerks
    Brooklyn Man Bogarts Sufjan Stevens SongWant to hear it? You’ll have to go to his apartment.
    By Amos Barshad
  49. jerks
    Monster SpeaksSays Chris Brown: “All the blog sites are liars.”
    By Lane Brown
  50. jerks
    Marvel Announces 2008 EarningsThey could probably pay Mickey Rourke more than $250,000 for ‘Iron Man 2.’
    By Lane Brown
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