Loss of Maddox Cracks Richard Johnson’s Heart of StoneWe’re not ashamed to admit it: When we saw those pictures of Angelina Jolie filming The Changeling in Los Angeles the other day, our hearts dropped to the floor. It was like discovering someone’s been cheating on you. What was she doing in L.A.? She’s supposed to be here! First, there was denial. They can’t really be gone, we said to ourselves. They only just got here! Then came the story in the New York Observer about Maddox leaving school, and slowly, grim reality set in. We e-mailed Cindy Guargenti, Brad’s rep, just to be sure. “I think hes left … not sure,” came the BlackBerry-ed response. “I believe they are on their way back to la shortly.” Fuck!, we said to ourselves. Even she doesn’t know where he’s going? And why should she! They’ve had like ten houses in ten months! Why do these people move around so much? Why do they “phunk” with our hearts? We thought we were alone in our sadness, and so we buried our feelings in shame. But today, we saw that we are not alone. In an unusually sensitive item, today’s “Page Six” ruminates about how terrible all of this moving must be for the children, particularly Maddox, who switches schools every few weeks. In fact, “Page Six” hurt so much, they went to a therapist. “With the moves, the kids just don’t invest in relationships, because they’re going to lose them anyway,” therapist Puja Hall told the Post. “They think: ‘Why bother? I’m not gonna stick around. We’re gonna pick up and go, and the loss of friends is painful.’” Indeed. Don’t worry, Richard Johnson. We’ll get through this! Together.
Bum Trip for Brangelina Kids [NYP]
Previously: Intel’s coverage of Maddox Jolie
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Maddox, ActuallySpencer Morgan, Maddox Jolie’s erstwhile biographer, reports in today’s Observer that after only six weeks, “Mad” has left the Lycée Français. No, he wasn’t driven out by the hordes of camera-clutching Upper East Side parents or kicked out because he was crappy at French or even trying to escape the unrelenting pen of modelizer turned kiderazzi Morgan. He’s just going along with the rest of his family to L.A. while Angelina films The Changeling, and it’s looking like they may not be back. The Brangelinas were supposedly about to take residence in the Waldorf Tower, but would they really pay $100,000 a month if they’re not actually living there? Well, actually maybe yes. BBut is it possible that Jennifer Aniston saying she was thinking about moving back east caused them to flee back to California? We’d say also probably yes. But most important, won’t his girlfriend’s heart be broken? It’ll be just like that scene in Love, Actually! Except maybe not. “At this age,” the Observer’s “exclusive” Maddox source tells them, “the girls and boys don’t really care about each other.” That’s not age, lady. That’s just Hollywood.
Au Revoir, Mon Maddox! [NYO]
Inside Pitt-Jolie’s Reported NYC Pad [ABC]
Earlier: Daily Intel’s Coverage of Maddox Jolie
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Maddox’s First Crush: The Apex or Nadir of Celebrity Journalism?The inevitable first story about 5-year-old Maddox Jolie-Pitt’s love life has arrived, even earlier than we would have expected. This upcoming issue of OK! Magazine will report that on September 25, the Cambodian cherub returned home from school at the Lycée Français, all atwitter with new emotions. “Mad was really excited and talking very fast in French,” a source told the magazine, in direct contradiction to what we’ve previously heard about Maddox’s weak language skills. The girl in question “had brown eyes and wore yellow and navy ribbons in her brown hair.” Now that’s just creepy, source.
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Brad on Paparazzi: It’s the PittsSounds like New York might not be working out for the Jolie-Pitts. Brad totally loses it in Parade this week, talking about the crazy parents at the Lycée Française and the photographers who go bonkers every time they see him and the rest of the gang. “I understand the tabloid machine. There’s money to be made off of Angie and me, but it has gotten so out-of-hand.” Man, capitalism ruins everything!
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Breaking: Maddox Jolie-Pitt Acts Like a 5-Year-OldThis week, the Observer shifts scruffy “Transom” reporter Spencer Morgan off the model beat and onto the weighty business of celebustalking children. Morgan dryly documents the discord Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have wrought at their son Maddox’s Upper East Side school, the Lycée Français (the principal sent a letter home to families! Some parents scream Angelina and Brad’s names to get their attention!). Way at the bottom of the story, we learn from a school source that 5-year-old Maddox’s “French is pretty minimal.” We also learn that “he’s always smiling,” except when once asked to bring in a picture of himself, at which point he “started crying.” We can’t help but think back to something Mary-Kate Olsen told New York after dropping out of NYU. She’d noticed that students in her class were selling stories about her to the tabloids and concluded, “Learning is not fun if you’re not safe.” We’d like for you to ponder that point for a moment, while we go pay off the preschooler who sold us the above photo.
Zut Alors! Monsieur Maddox Jolie-Pitt Begins Kindergarten, And Lycée Parents Lose It [NYO]
new york fugging city
Why the Fug Isn’t Anybody Paying Attention to Michael Jackson?
With the Jolie-Pitts invading the city in their armored SUVs, we’re hardly surprised that other celebrity tidbits have been swept under the rug — clearly, by-the-hour updates of what Maddox is up to at the park would supersede news of what Tinsley has done with her hair, or which blast of hot air most recently burst from Trump’s blowhole. But for America’s First Family to eclipse even the dramatic return of deposed King of Pop Michael Jackson and his theatrically veiled kids does that mean we’re ready to forgive and forget with America’s most (in)famous man-child? Or is it that no one can be bothered to care?
Michael Jackson Is in New YorkDavid Chase is “heartbroken” that James Gandolfini, Edie Falco, et al didn’t win Emmy; Bill Maher isn’t sad he lost for the nineteenth time. Naomi Campbell told the Blacks in Fashion panel last week that she’s repeatedly been refused the cover of British Vogue, despite the fact that she’s posed eight times. Rosie O’Donnell declined to hawk her book on Oprah, instead opting for a Diane Sawyer interview. Brad Pitt and Angelia Jolie drop off and pick up Maddox at the Upper East Side’s Lycée Français themselves. Marilyn Manson didn’t carry girlfriend Rachel Evan Woods’s luggage as the two strode through JFK. Judith Giuliani went shopping for Manolos at Bergdorf Goodman. Michael Jackson is allegedly holed up in a fancy midtown hotel and has left only once to take part in a photo shoot.