If You Spun It, Here’s How It Would Have Happened
Now that we know Judith Regan was fired from HarperCollins over a volley of anti-Semitic remarks, it strikes us that with the recent bumper crop of Great Moments in Racism — Michael Richards–gate, Rosie-gate, Mel Gibson Über alles — our culture has found a new cottage industry: Awesome excuses for Great Moments in Racism. And nearly all of them have shown up already in the Regan affair. After the jump, a cheat sheet for spinning your next ching chong.
AARP Winners Hate Retirement
The American Association of Retired Persons changed its official name to just AARP in 1999, thereby eliminating that gauche r-word from the middle of its moniker. And it’s a good thing, too, considering how honorees at the AARP Impact Awards luncheon this afternoon reacted when asked how they plan to spend their retirements:
Valerie Harper: “Oh, not to retire! I don’t see myself retiring in the near future — I want to be just like Ethel Barrymore, never retiring!”
Marlo Thomas: “I’m never going to retire. I love to go to Barbados to water-ski and swim and sit in the sun with a lot of sunscreen on. But I only like that because I work before and after; I couldn’t do it otherwise.”
David Hyde Pierce: “My ideal retirement would be to not retire.”
Remind us not to hire them as our spokespeople. — Jocelyn Guest