3 p.m.: Coat your stomach with starchy dim sum at HSF on the Bowery.
5 p.m.: Nap.
6 p.m.: Drinks and pool at Musical Box, then on to Mona’s for the punk-filled jukebox.
8:30 p.m.: Fill up on salami paninis and cheap house red at Pink Pony.
9:45 p.m.: Cocktails at Milk and Honey. (Click here for the secret number. Call for a pre–10 p.m. seating.)
11 p.m.: Start with skank rock at the Annex, then trot over to Darkroom, where downtown bands like We Are Scientists have after-parties.
1:30 a.m.: Head to the 205 Club, and pretend you’re in with the art set.
2:45 a.m.: Inhale a burrito at El Nuevo Amanecer on Stanton Street, then move on to the shaggy-headed crowd at Welcome to the Johnsons.
4 a.m.: One last dance at Love, the Macdougal Street hole-in-the-wall.
6 a.m.: Bed.
Noon: Check out. Eggs and bloodies at 7A. Go to Social Tees on East 4th Street and have your bleary faces silk-screened on matching T-shirts. Head home to the bundle of joy.