Sott Baio is having a very good day. After decades toiling on the D-list fringes of reality-show celebrity — who can forget VH1’s Scott Baio Is 45 … and Single or the sequel, Scott Baio Is 45 … and Pregnant — Baio woke up to the following declaration this morning, and promptly retweeted it:
And the affirmations started rolling in.
While Baio’s preferred candidate prepares to assume the highest office in the land, the actor most Americans still know as the manbaby who played Chachi has been taking a victory lap of his own.
Scott Baio — ex–Happy Days, ex–Diagnosis: Murder, ex–the presciently Trumpian Zapped!, and of course ex–Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 — has been a part of the American consciousness since he appeared on our televisions in 1977 and ruined sweet, precocious Joanie Cunningham for the whole country. Since then, Baio has become something of a joke, which made his appearance at the Republican National Convention in July feel that much more incongruous.
Like his hero, Baio spends his time threatening to sue people for defamation on the internet, and famously got into a Twitter war with Jezebel — his wife called the writers there “lesbian shitasses.” He’s a man who uses his public platform to share wisdom like: “Don’t ever take a shower with a woman, because you’ll probably end up proposing to her,” and asks why he should pay taxes to “feed, house & provide medical for a few lazy non working people at my expense.”
If there was any more potent sign of the Trump campaign’s essential ludicrousness than Baio up on that RNC lectern, journalists at the time were hard-pressed to find it. But now, overnight, everything has changed. Baio is no longer part of America’s forgettable past but its inevitable future.
Yes, it’s only Twitter, but as millions of Americans take bleary-eyed stock today, they must also steady themselves for a new cultural world order.
Step aside, Ellen, Kanye, Gaga, and Taylor, and make room for the new kids in town: Wayne Newton, Ted Nugent, and Steven Seagal.
Scott Baio is ready. In fact, he’s been waiting for a very long time.