201 Bridesmaids Can’t Be Wrong

Photo: Rob Chapple Stock/Alamy

How large, on average, were the bridal parties you were a part of last year?
2–4: 43%
5–9: 48%
10 +: 7%
Just Me: 2%

Were there any intra-bridal-party fights?
• “Yes, over lipstick—who should wear it and who shouldn’t.”
• “Two sisters fist-fought because they were drunk.”

Have you ever disliked or even loathed the person your friend was marrying?
Yes: 28%
No: 72%

Have you ever been “fired” from a bridal party?
Yes: 6%
No: 94%

If yes, why?
• “My sister was mad at me because I asked why she was rushing to get married. Three months later, she was filing for divorce.”
• “I told the bride’s parents about her recent drug use… She was fresh out of rehab.”
• “My best friend asked me to be maid of honor the summer before she got engaged, but that fall, she changed her mind and decided to ask her roommate. When I asked why, she said, ‘You just don’t rank as high anymore.’ ”

What was the most bridezilla-ish behavior you witnessed?
• “[The bride] crying and screaming because one of the bridesmaids was using the same brand and color lip gloss as her on the wedding day.”
• “I was told to dye my hair darker to match the other bridesmaids’. ”
• “ ‘It’s my wedding, and I’ll cry if I want to’—she actually said that.”

Kiss and Tell

Did you get drunk at the reception?
Yes: 68%
No: 32%

Did you hook up with anyone?
Yes: 21%

If yes, with whom?
• “The groomsman. Cliché but worth it.”
• “I made out with both of the groom’s brothers.”
• “My date…who later dumped me.”

Did any of the following people hit on you?
Groomsmen: 44%
Best Man: 13%
Waiter: 8%
Father of the Bride: 5%
Officiant: 1%

• “Hooray for Unitarian Universalist ministers who chug wine pre-ceremony, take shots with the bridal party, and then make clumsy passes at bridesmaids!”

• “The bride’s mom hit on my boyfriend with me there. I believe there was some drunken thigh-rubbing.”

Best gift you’ve ever received?
• “Tiffany necklace”
• “A Polaroid camera”
• “Spa package”
• “The dress”
• “Sex-shop gift certificate”

Worst gift you’ve ever received?
• “Handmade rope bracelet”
• “The ugly shoes I had to wear to the wedding”
• “A kitten”

What color was your most recent bridesmaid dress?
Blue: 28%
Black: 16%
Green: 8%
Brown: 5%

Describe it in one word.
• “Shiny”
• “Slutty”
• “Traumatic”
• “Valentine’s- Day-Massacre”
• “Hepburn”
• “Expensive”

How much did it cost?
Under $75: 3%
$75– $149: 23%
$150– $199: 28%
$200 and up: 45%

What is the best thing about being a bridesmaid?
• “The booze. Oh, and being there for my best friend.”
“VIP access to food, drinks, etc.”
• “Getting to hook up with the stripper from the hen night!”

Most embarrassing moment?
• “The officiant’s cell phone went off in the middle of the ceremony.”
• “The flower girl apologized loudly because she pooped in her pants. Then she tried to take them off.”
• “I threw up on the bride’s dress. Let’s just say it wasn’t white after the wash.”
• “I decided I was done wearing my bridesmaid dress a little too early…”

201 Bridesmaids Can’t Be Wrong