So, What’s the Protocol?

Don’t procrastinate.
You’re not acting greedy when you register early—you’re being considerate. Registering before an engagement party is a must, but if you’re not having one, just make sure your wish list is ready to go by the time you mail your save-the-dates.

Dream big, but also think small.
“You don’t want to alienate guests by having items far out of their price range,” says Lee, who advises registering for gifts as low as $20, as well as setting up a specialty fund for extravagant gifts, like a down payment on a home (go here for sites that’ll help you get started). That way, guests can partially pay for something they are unlikely to purchase on their own.

Just no sex toys!
Nix anything “you wouldn’t want your parents to see,” says Lee. Registries were traditionally designed to help newlyweds build a home together, so personal items like that Hermès bag you’ve been drooling over are verboten.

Don’t fear Facebook.
Lee considers it poor taste to mention your registry on formal invitations. Instead, use wedding websites, Facebook pages, and e-cards to get the word out.

Keep a running list.
Continue updating your registry even after the wedding. “Guests are not always prompt, and you may receive gifts long after the honeymoon is over,” Lee says. “Add things as new needs arise.”

So, What’s the Protocol?