Peyton Dix’s Hunt for Ballet Flats That Don’t Make Her Look Straight
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Before anyone barks at me, I am well aware that lesbians can look all kinds of ways. I famously have served a variety of queer until I ultimately landed on my specific style that sits comfortably between a soft masc and baby futch. If this is you, or if you’re just a person looking for a ballet flat that doesn’t feel too high femme, then walk with me.
I’m not a big flat wearer. I often gravitate toward tall, chunky boots, but seeing as the weather in New York is already surpassing 80 degrees, my feet need to breathe. It’s time to let the dogs out (but never on main! Always keep your toes behind a paywall!). My most worn flats are my Nike Air Rifts and my Margiela Tabi ballet flats. (Tip for the Air Rifts: Remember they come with socks. Tip for Tabis: take them to a cobbler before you put them on your feet and get the soles reinforced. You and your bank account can thank me later.)
While these flats are fine, I needed a shoe that was more breathable, more wearable than the Tabis, and more elevated than the Nikes. I am not a stud (though I’m always aspiring), but I am shockingly five-foot-four. I often have to come out as a short person. I don’t want to have to come out as a lesbian at the same time. I need a flat that says “Yes, I am of both short experience and lesbian experience.” So I did what every brave woman does and went to the mall.
My top picks
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These are a pretty perfect, reasonably priced mesh ballet flat. No whistles and bells.
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They have subtle silver detailing and an understated lace-up bow, but be warned: Sizes are limited.
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It shocked me how much I liked these, but $1,200 for a white mesh shoe?
The ones that didn’t quite cut it
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If you loved jelly shoes when you were in middle school, you’re bi now. I don’t make the rules; I just state the facts. The Clear was super-cute and subtle, but ultimately I did not like the buckle that went across the top of the foot in either feeling or style.
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Lemme say this … I am not mad at a Rothy’s shoe! Something about it is comfortably corporate. A woman in a Rothy’s shoe says her Roth IRA is all the way together. The shoe was simple and sensible, but I wanted a little less Tina fromThe L Wordand a bit more Bette.
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These shoes felt like oppression to me. I will not be expanding further.
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My first thought was that the color is very earth sign, and to think that is very gay. It’s just forest green. I love the breathable mesh; I just wish the bow tie were not there and so particularly pronounced.
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Leaning into the mesh look, I tried the Miu Miu mesh ballet flat. They only had the white to try on. It shocked me how much I liked it with the black contrasted buckle, but a $1,200 white mesh shoe? I live in New York … within a certain tax bracket. Oh, and to the Century City mall Bloomingdale’s employee who decided to try and help me only once I picked up a $1K shoe: Count your days …
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Ultimately, the butter yellow–industrial complex is a straight women’s sport. Heterosexuals don’t play about the dress fromHow to Lose a Guy in Ten Days. While I respect the herstory and the color,particularlyon deep skin, the straightest thing I could do would be to chase a trend. These shoes made me feel like I Pinterest-boarded my personality when what real dykes do is Tumblr their entire personality!
The Winners
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Madewell. Diva. Can I call you diva? I was not hip to your game!!! These are the perfect, good-quality-yet-reasonably-priced mesh ballet flat. No whistles and bells (read: bows). The toe is square, and I like the mesh for both its breathability and because you can see my silver toe rings through the shoe. Size down!
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I saw the basic ballet flat version of this shoe first. I loved the square toe and the feel of the Italian leather, but the basic version looked a little too good girl™ for me, and I went bad the same year Rihanna did. A charming twink retail worker led me to the shoe’s second cousin twice removed. It has subtle silver detailing and an understated lace-up bow. The shoes reminded me of a more everyday version of the Ganni buckle flats I was always so close to loving.
This shoe was on sale for $159.99 and only left in a size 8.5. I’m generally a 9, sometimes 9.5 (I was meant to be tall, but God doesn’t give with both hands). I almost walked away, but the aforementioned twink encouraged me to just try them on. They fit like a glove, and when I went to check out I discovered they were an additional 50 percent off. This is that synchronicity Julia Cameron talks about inThe Artist’s Way. So maybe sometimes Goddoesgive with both hands …
[Editor’s note: Sizing for this shoe is limited online, too; only sizes 8, 8.5, 9.5, 10, and 11 remain.]
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