The Perimenopausal Wish List

“I’m not saying this will put an end to hot flashes and night sweats but, in my opinion, it’s the best fan to ease the discomfort,” saysDr. Sarah Oreck, reproductive psychiatrist and founder ofMavida Health. “I love how it’s quiet and beautifully designed — it’s almost like a piece of art.

Another useful fan, but retro, it’s under a hundred bucks and ideal for our work desks.

We’re either burning hot or freezing cold. There’s no in between. This triangular cashmere scarf, designed for a multitude of uses, can come off and on … and on and off … and on and off … without any hassle or bulk. “Women’s body temperatures go haywire during this period,” says Stephanie Middleberg, M.S., R.D., founder ofMiddleberg Nutritionandbest-selling author. “Best to always be prepared.”

There are so many celebrity wellness brands with perimenopausal slants, but it’s hard to argue with a hot-flash-murdering spritz by the OG perimenopausal warrior Naomi Watts.

“All I want is something that keeps me cool, in terms of temperature and style but mostly temperature,” saysDr. Oreck. “This silk set feels light and soft against my skin, it’s breathable, and it actually holds up in the wash, which means I can wear it every night — which I do!”

Yes we’re still sexual creatures, and yes we’re more womanly than ever, and yes toAll Foursin every which way, but let us wear a proper flannel nightie now and then. Please. Icherishmine from Petite Plume, and my daughter has thematch. If you really want to commit, get a tried-and-trueEileen West.

[Editor’s note: This nightgown is currently sold out, but you can sign up for restock notifications on theproduct page.]

“Sleep issues plague me and most of my perimenopausal friends, many of whom feel desperate to sleep more,” says Dr. Heather Hirsch, author of the newly releasedThe Perimenopause Survivor Guide. “A great sleep mask is a must. I love the naturally cooling fibers of bamboo combined with the blackout effect, making it the cozy final step in my bedtime ritual.”

“This headband has been proven to work four times better than melatonin,” says Karla Stewart, co-founder ofMoody Month, a platform that uses hormonal health data to support and optimize women’s well-being and productivity. “It’s a splurge, but we’ll pay anything for sleep.”

To be in the thick of night sweats is to be in a serious relationship with your bedding. No purchase has delighted me more than this cloudlike, instantlycool mattress topperfrom Coop. If anything it’s almost too wonderful — my no-frills partner can’t handle the decadence.

Nothing, besides HRT, will help with the brain fog. Trust me, I’ve tried it all. But there are things we can do to ensure we’re less forgetful. A beautiful calendar that sparks joy (and school-conference reminders) is one of them. My most stylish fashion-writer friend discovered this agenda, which he describes as “so terribly chic.”

Essential!

“I can never find anything, and the brain fog doesn’t help,” saysDr. Oreck. “This makes my phone easy to find in my bag or on the counter and, honestly, it just removes one more micro-stressor from my day.”

For all the same reasons, just fancier.

Some CBD-forward mom friends highly recommend these “Jitter-Free Focus” gummies.

Not everyone wants to track how much they’renotsleeping, andnotexercising, but some do. The gold and silver Oura ring that everyone else has now comes in really pretty colors: Tide, Cloud, Petal, and Midnight. Oura also has a newishPerimenopause Check-In feature!

“Bone health is something you start thinking about more in perimenopause and menopause, and this vest makes it simple to do something about it,” says Joanna Strober, CEO and founder ofMidi Health. “I wear it while walking or doing light workouts, and it feels empowering to know it’s helping me stay strong. It’s a small tool, but it makes a big difference and it actually fits seamlessly into everyday life.”

“This isn’t the sexiest stocking stuffer, but it’s the classic supplement that I believe is one of the most important for perimenopausal women,” says Middleberg. “It reduces stress, helps keep you regular, is good for your bones, and it’s my No. 1 recommendation to improve sleep.”

We want to nest. We want to cook healthy, hearty meals like the ones in this gorgeous book. But one pot is all we can be bothered with.

“The most crucial thing to know is that retinoid (prescription or effective OTC), an effective vitamin C, and mineral SPF are themostimportant products for perimenopause,” says New York–based dermatologistDr. Jennifer MacGregor. “You can’t have it all in one product, but this replenishing serum from Ourself is super-plumping and hydrating and has vitamin C. I personally want it!”

“Exosomes science is a whole conversation, but Plated is an excellent starting point. This serum basically turns back the clock on your skin’s function and appearance,” says MacGregor. Plus, it’s gold and shiny.

A charming,ordinaryretinol.

“Perimenopause comes with breakouts,” says Dr. Oreck. “I personally wasn’t prepared for my skin to suddenly regress to its teenage state — but here we are, breaking out before meetings like I’m back in high school. This serum has become my nonnegotiable morning step, the one product that actually manages hormonal breakouts without adding another 20 minutes to my routine. All my friends are addicted, too.”

“For dry perimenopausal skin, I’ll take anything from Osea, especially theirTotal Body Glow trioor theirultrahydrating duo,” says Middleberg. “I love all their products.”

Any of Kate McLeod’s zero-waste products will help soften our dry, scaly skin, but this one can go anywhere with you.

These happy, giftable oils are as nourishing to dry hair and dry skin as they are a force of good in ethical practices and feminism around the world. Inner and outer glow.

My most trusted, beauty-obsessed mom friend swears this Ayurvedic hair remedy is the only product that works for hormonal hair loss. It works so well that her husband gets into her stash for himself, and now she has to hide it. This serum is the brand’s hero, but the whole line is allegedly golden.

A luxe new shoe line, worn all over New York Fashion Week, designed, discreetly, with comfort in mind. “Many people don’t realize that hormonal changes during perimenopause can actually make you more clumsy,” says Stewart. “Plus, decreases in estrogen also affect joint health. So, shoes matter, and I’m thrilled these exist.”

Every stylish perimenopausal mom in Brooklyn either has these, wants these, or has a pair and wants more. The elastic waist is friendly and flattering to our ever-changing bodies, and the designer constantly updates her colorways. The newest one isEspresso, andColorblock Pinkis a cult classic.

Since many of us have breastfed, and gravity is real, this Lift Your Spirits bra is a dependable little helper for Pilates moms and anti-Pilates moms alike.

Our estrogen patches and sleep gummies aren’t going to pack themselves. Monogram it with HRT.

“Clean, plant-based, tension-easing … dying to get this in my stocking,” says Tia Williams, New YorkTimesbest-selling author ofAudre & Bash Are Just Friends.

Self-explanatory.

“This is an organic, hormone-free vulva moisturizer that relieves dryness and discomfort,” says ​​professorLatham Thomas, distinguished women’s health expert and award-winning Black maternal health advocate. “It’s perfect for after my period, or for women in between irregular periods, when dryness is more common.” Make sure to check out Medicine Mama’s vaginal suppositorytoo.

“This candle has a literal heavenly scent,” says Thomas. “It melts down into a smooth, indulgent massage oil that can be easily poured into the hands or directly onto the skin. It’s for the ultimate sensual massage at any age.”

Because no one needs to see a vibrator that looks like a vibrator on Christmas morning.

I’m told these menopause patches are effective (it contains ingredients that claim to calm, relax, and boost focus), and the packaging is cute, and it can’t hurt to try.

This is the first fragrance I’ve ever heard of that is designed specifically to support perimenopause(get it?) as it was created by women going through it themselves. The scent is subtle yet tender … puts a little spring in your step when getting out the door.

Hormonal mayhem, sleep deprivation, bad moods, and relentless anxiety equals … chocolate. This women-led Ghanaian chocolate is so delicious, and it’s actually healthy, plus spirituallyfeel-goodall at once.

This next-level-cozy blanket is what I give all my anxious and out-of-whack perimenopausal mom friends who need some love. I like to say, it’s cheaper than divorce and works faster than Wellbutrin.

I just discovered this enchanting brand rooted in Zen philosophy. The founders say the name Blueme (pronounced “bloom”) embodies “a moment for me.” The ceramic vessel belongs on an open shelf in upstate New York, and I’m obsessed.

Perimenopause is really, really hard. In the spirit of magical thinking, I bought myself this jade necklace because the stone promises vibrancy and groundedness. When I’m really going through it, my son will bring me the necklace “to power up.” And I choose to believe that it works.