My Hunt for an Adult-Size Samantha Parkington–esque Coat

I couldn’t try the Mini Boden Wool Blend Coat, but I could try the next best thing: the Boden Bow Front Coat. It comes in a shade of pink like a scoop of Neapolitan from the Ice Cream Parlor set. Unfortunately, it’s not the easiest to walk in. I now know what it must have been like to wear the short-lived hobble skirt (the Edwardians were weird about gaits, as ladies even imitated the limp of Queen Alexandra). I kept tripping over myself, even when tiptoeing. It’s definitely for someone who’s long-limbed and not wide-hipped and short-legged, which I am.

The Ambre Coat from Sézane vaguely reminds me of the top half of Samantha’s school dress. I kept thinking about Little Lord Fauntleroy while wearing it — not a bad thing, but I’m going more for A Little Princess. It’s just a bit too cropped. It also makes me look boxy, in a way an American Girl is, but not in a way this American girl wants to be.

I don’t think the oversize fit on Dôen’s Dover Coat did anything for me. I sized down to a small, and might’ve even gotten away with an extra-small. It isn’t lost on me that it looks as if I stole Uncle Gardner’s topcoat.

Named for an estate in Inverness, Scotland, balmacaans are single-breasted overcoats. Buck Mason’s Balmacaan has a Donegal houndstooth (which was woven in Ireland). It’s a coat for a Very Serious Person. Maybe for a Love Story Ali MacGraw. You can tell it was designed with the best of intentions, from the flap-patch pockets down to the back vent. It was not as large on me as Dôen’s, even in a size small.

This was my wild card. Had puffers existed at the turn of the century, I don’t doubt that Samantha would’ve gotten a puffer for bicycling. By no means is Samantha a cheapskate, but even she’d think it’s a bargain for $240. You’re getting a detachable hood (the ties can fold into a scarf), removable sleeves (there’s a hidden zipper on each to turn the puffer into a gilet), and a button-down front placket with secure scrunchie straps. I could survive a blizzard with this thing. It does earn a Michelin Man comparison, however.

Because it’s an A-line style and has a pleat in the back, Boden’s Edinburgh Swing hangs away from the body. I’m not entirely sure that this silhouette is the most flattering for me. I wish it showed more of a waistline. Maybe getting it in a petite 8 instead of a petite 10 might’ve helped (for a little less fabric in the middle). Anyway, I like the size of the houndstooth. It’s also available in a red, blue, and green check that’s similarly very Samantha.

It has the spirit of a Ralph Lauren Christmas, and I mean that complimentarily. It could’ve been great, had the ruffle hem been a tad shorter and the collar more structured. It doesn’t know where to lay when the peacoat’s buttoned to the top. I’d recommend sizing down as well.

I can’t believe it’s not butter. I can’t believe it’s Mango. I believed Mango was a lesser Zara. Boy, was I wrong. This blend of acrylic, wool, and polyester reads like a tweed, while the collar doesn’t have that faux-ness that faux fur often has. It couldn’t be mistaken for real, but it’s not a kind of shiny, plasticky fur.

Tuckernuck is “for girls who grew up wearing chinos from J.Crew and boat shoes from Sperry,” according to our sister site The Cut. It’s as if I’m playing dress-up in the Harlan Coat. Very fitting, actually. If it didn’t have the fur cuffs and velvet-looking buttons, it might’ve seemed too sophisticated and polished and grown-up. Can’t you imagine it with a Lady Dior bag? Or a Hill House Home plaid?

Don’t tell me Samantha Parkington wouldn’t be a J.Crew customer. And Grandmary would approve of the Salon Coat. Not only for the “crème de menthe” hue (if she didn’t know the name) but the ladylike, fitted silhouette. It’s made from a double-cloth wool J.Crew sourced from the Italian Manifattura di Carmignano mill and trademarked Thinsulate. It’s warmer than you’d think. Truthfully, the sleeves hit me right at the wrists, as someone who is short-armed. Do with that information what you will.

Spanish La Veste makes the Miranda Coat, and it’s exactly what I had in mind initially. It’s just plain delightful. Not only does the velvet have the sheen of a Hershey’s bar, but the yellow doesn’t lean banana-y. It feels rich. Like rich rich. The kind of rich of the whole Parkington family. But it runs a bit small. It’s slightly tight in a medium, mostly in the chest. It would’ve been in the winner’s circle otherwise.

Do you remember how I mentioned the words jaunty and haughty? Well, this is jaunty and haughty. It’s prim, trim, and everything nice. It’s serious, sort of. It’s classic, kind of. I wore it while voting in the great state of New Jersey (thank you, Cornelia Edwards, née Pitt, for teaching me about women’s suffrage) and didn’t feel a chill in the air, either. I think it was the coat I reached for the most out of all the ones I tried.

Theodore Roosevelt wore Brooks Brothers to his inauguration, and the fact that Samantha would know about Brooks Brothers makes me happy. In fairness, the Oversized Wool Houndstooth Coat made me feel adorable. As a mohair teddy bear is. If I didn’t know it was a wool blend (62 percent wool, 12 percent viscose, 12 percent polyamide, 9 percent polyester, 5 percent mohair), I’d guess it was 100 percent wool. It has a great weight. You’re embraced in it. It’s the equivalent of a blanket. (I almost fell asleep on a couch in it, actually.)

Only in the name of Samantha Parkington could I talk about the $1,095 Sanoë Bettina. I can’t remember ever trying on anything that’s this well tailored. There’s even what feels like padding in the shoulders to keep them rounded. Someone (who will remain anonymous) on the Strategist staff described it as “very independently wealthy coded.” That’s exactly what it is about. I should be in a Town & Country double-page spread or an equestrian at the Hampton Classic Horse Show! I know, I know: $1,095. But I felt like the little girl who wanted to be Samantha Parkington when I put it on for the first time — and that’ll apparently cost $1,095 (which might be less than what some end up spending during an afternoon at the American Girl store).