How to Choose the Right Vibrator for You
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So you’ve decided to buy yourfirst vibrator, and odds are you have no idea where to start. Luckily, long gone are the days of sneaking into sex shops to wander the aisles aimlessly. Now there’s a choice, includingvibratorsthat rumble, vibrators that buzz,vibrators that use air suctionto simulate oral sex, and others that can be tucked into a strap-on or controlled via remote or even buzz along to a favorite playlist. But sometimes all that choice can make the search for The One even more intimidating. Over the years, I’ve talked to dozens of sex experts, sex educators, sexologists, shop owners, and professional reviewers about their favorite toys; have guided many a friend to finding their new favorite nightstand addition; and have tested out quite a few myself. So I’ve written up a little guide below with all the tips and tricks I’ve learned over the years to hopefully help you along on your shopping journey.
Your vibrator should be made from body-safe material like silicone
Before we get into the fun stuff, you want to make sure you’re investing in toys that are made of high-quality, body-safe materials. Body-safe materials — which include silicone, borosilicate glass, metals such as stainless steel, and ABS plastic — are nonporous, so they are less likely to harbor harmful bacteria or viruses and are therefore more hygienic. A word on silicone: You’ll often see brands use terms likebody-safe,food-grade, andmedical-gradeto describe their silicone. All three are nonporous and safe to use, though medical-grade silicone is often the gold standard used by brands, as it also meets the standards for use in medical devices. Overall, the more specific a brand is about the materials it is using, the better. If the brand isn’t being forthright about exactly what is being used in each toy, move onto one that is transparent.
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If you’re stuck on which type, start with an external vibrator
Vibrators come in all different shapes and sizes, from internal vibrators to clitoral vibrators, plus vibes that are designed for anal play or for penises. The experts I’ve spoken with all say you’ll want a different type of toy depending on the type of pleasure and play you seek. A good starting place is to consider the types of sensations you’ve enjoyed in the past — either solo or with a partner. If you prefer penetration and G- or P-spot stimulation, then go for an internal vibrator like a G-spot or prostate massager. If you prefer clitoral stimulation, an external vibrator like a wand might be right up your alley. Do you want both? Then a combination vibrator like a rabbit style should satisfy. If you love oral sex, experimenting with an air-suction toy is great, while those with penises should check out a vibrating ring or a stroker.
If you aren’t sure where to start, an external vibe is usually best for beginners. Since you don’t need to insert anything, it’s less intimidating than other toys. And if you are opting for an internal vibe, start small. You can also upgrade to a larger size once you figure out what’s most comfortable for you.
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“Rumbly” vibrations are usually better than “buzzy” ones
The more levels of speed a vibrator has, the more opportunity there is to experiment to find what works best for your body. Keep in mind that if you are more sensitive, you may only need to play around with the lower levels, while those who need stronger vibrations will need a toy with higher settings. But it’s not just about the number of settings, it’s also about the power of the motor. Generally, you can divide vibration into two categories: “buzzy,” which tends to be superficial, or more “rumbly,” which tends to feel much deeper. For the most part, you want “rumbly” vibrations — they help build to a fuller, more intense orgasm. Generally, larger toys, like the Magic Wand for example, have more powerful motors. Smaller toys tend to be weaker, though there are exceptions in that category, for example, the We-Vibe Tango X and the Magic Wand Micro.
The size of the toy also matters here. If you prefer more targeted stimulation, then opt for a toy that can concentrate the vibrations, like a bullet vibrator. If you want your vibrations to cover more surface area, then a larger toy like a wand is a good bet.
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Vibration patterns add to the fun — but make sure the toy has simple controls
Like vibration intensity, vibrators often have different patterns that will impact the type of sensations you can experiment with. You may find you don’t need any patterns at all, but I’d recommend starting with a toy that has at least three to four to play with. One caveat: Make sure the toy has intuitive controls that are simple to toggle between. Losing your momentum toward the big “O” because you accidentally hit the wrong button is extremely frustrating.
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Dame Pom Palm Vibrator
Consider your lifestyle when deciding on extra features
While you don’t need a toy to have every feature under the sun, there are certain little extras that might make sense depending on your lifestyle. Live with roommates in an apartment with paper-thin walls? Finding a toy with a quiet motor might make you feel more comfortable using it even with other people at home. Do you live for a hot bath? Buying a waterproof toy could add some extra fun to your self-care nights. Do you have a partner? A remote- or app-controlled vibrator can be used both alone or with someone.
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Invest in quality, but don’t totally splurge while exploring
While you may be tempted buy the cheap-y toys, usually they are much weaker than their more expensive counterparts (which makes achieving an orgasm harder), designed in such a way that they are less comfortable to use or stop working after a few months of use. And you don’t want to be discouraged at the start of your shopping journey by a completely lackluster experience. On the other hand, the very expensive toys with all the bells and whistles are great — but maybe save that purchase until you’ve figured out exactly what you’re looking for. For those reasons, I recommend aiming for a middle ground when it comes to your budget. And don’t worry, there are plenty of excellent under-$150 toys out there that fit the bill.
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And don’t forget the lube …
Using a little bit of lube with your toy will help smooth the way — reducing friction between your skin and the silicone of the toy to keep your play seamless. And, if you’re planning on using lube, remember that a silicone-based lube cannot be used with a silicone toy because it can degrade the toy, so stick with a water-based option.
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… Or the toy cleaner
After you’re invested the time and energy in finding the right toy (not to mention your money), you’re going to want to invest just a bit more in the right supplies to keep it clean. Unclean sex toys can cause a whole host of issues, from yeast infections to STIs. You can pick up a dedicated sex-toy cleaner, but good old-fashioned soap and warm water works just fine. Just make sure it’s a mild or unscented soap, which won’t irritate sensitive skin. After the toy is dry, make sure you store it in a dedicated pouch — lots of toys come with one— so it doesn’t get dirty or dusty in your nightstand drawer.
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Some vibrators we stand behind
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