painless shopping

29 Plants for Every Type of Person

Christopher Walken recommends accessorizing your plants with googly eyes. Photo: NBC

Houseplants are seemingly more popular than ever, and now that it’s so easy to buy them online, the only real question is: Which plant should you get? Like anything else, there’s a wide range of options to suit different people. Your friend might somehow have a four-foot-tall Meyer-lemon tree in their living room — and that’s great for them, really — but let’s be realistic, that’s just not an option for all of us. Luckily, there is a plant for pretty much everyone, if you know what to look for. (And, if you haven’t seen the Saturday Night Live sketch in which Christopher Walken puts googly eyes on plants, please do yourself a favor and watch it.)

For the person who lives in a windowless cave

The ZZ plant is one of the most popular office plants because it can survive — and even thrive — with very little light.

For the person who never picks up fresh flowers

A bit of color in constant bloom for the host who’d never resort to overpriced bodega roses.

For the person who always orders “shared plates”

Sometimes referred to as the “Sharing Plant,” the Chinese Money Plant is known for sprouting out miniature “baby plants.” They grow out of the soil surrounding the main plant and can be easily removed, propagated, potted on their own, and shared with a friend.

For the person with a heavy pour

These marimo moss balls are often sold as aquarium plants. They are meant to be constantly submerged in water. If you can figure out a way to overwater these, please let us know.

For the person who’s always traveling

Snake plants are super-resilient and can handle low light (if you draw the curtains while on vacation) and infrequent watering (if you forget to arrange for a plant-sitter).

For the person whose dog eats everything

The humble spider plant topped our list of expert-recommended pet-safe plants. It’s nontoxic for dogs (and cats), which should put your mind at ease, but even nontoxic plants can make pets sick in large doses. So if Fido (or Whiskers) just can’t help themselves, you might need to break out the bitter-apple spray.

For the person who always seeks positive reinforcement

Pothos are famously easy to keep alive and are known to be fast growers, which should boost your confidence.

For the person who’s always ahead of the latest trend

We’ve been spotting this multicolored showstopper in a lot of restaurants and shops lately, and we wrote about it in our roundup of under-the-radar plants. Get it now so you can say you had one before it was everywhere. It’s only a matter of time.

For the person who makes their own pesto

Ambitious home cooks and herb aficionados will appreciate this kit. It comes with pots, seeds, and everything needed to start an indoor herb garden. (Do note that while the photo shows everything fully grown, the kit does not ship with live herbs. You’ll need to be patient, but that’s part of the fun.)

For the person who studied abroad in France

Francophiles will love this set of live herbs, perfect for flavoring homemade ratatouille or beef bourguignon.

For the person who unironically collects tiki mugs

For the person who never reapplies sunscreen