Just Wear a Black Long-sleeve to Dinner

By,a senior writer at the Strategist covering home and parenting.She joined the Strategist as a writer in 2018. Previously, she was an associate editor at Curbed.
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How I’d wear the shirts to dinner.Photo-Illustration: The Strategist; Photos: Lauren Ro

About a year ago, around the time I turned40, I started to wonder what a woman of my age should wear to dinner. I almost always prefer to wear billowy dresses, but some occasions call forpantsand aninterestingshirt. What was the going-out-top equivalent for a geriatric millennial? It made sense to me that it should be black and “sexy” in some way, whether fitted or showing some skin.

I called in a few pieces from the more “youthful” brands like Aritizia, Reformation, Sezane, and Doen that fit those criteria. Most of them had a nonstandard neckline that revealed some décolletage — scoop, off the shoulder, plunging V-neck — or were otherwise tight on the body.

The one top I wore a couple of times was a drapey V-front blouse with crossed paneling and slightly puffed sleeves from Sezane (similar tothis). It was easy to throw on over black pants, but after a while it felt too office-casual and sometimes made me look a little matronly. I also didn’t love that it was made of polyester.

Some of the tops weretooyoung. I couldn’t pull off atwist-front, off-the-shouldernumber from Aritzia, nor could I figure out how to style this extra-longdeep-V cardiganfrom Reformation. I tested a couple oflovelynonblacktops from Doen, but they ended up being more daytime appropriate (and are now in permanent rotation). Nothing was working. I had imagined myself wearing a “fun” top to go on date nights with my husband or to dinner with friends, but everything I tried made me look like I was cosplaying a MILF — or worse, Gen Z.

I had to get down to basics. Somehow I did not own a singleblack T-shirt(short- or long-sleeved) until last year. I had plenty of blacksweatersandUniqlo Heattechundershirts but no plain tees. What if I just wore a black T-shirt? I ordered a couple of black cotton long-sleeves from Los Angeles Apparel and Buck Mason and realized that’s all I actually needed. (After all, a black long-sleeve was good enough forCarolyn Bessette Kennedy.)

Los Angeles Apparel Baby Rib Long Sleeve Crewneck Tee
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Buck Mason Surplus Rib L/S Crew
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They were both well constructed from high-quality cotton in a rib knit and fit snugly, making them nice enough to wear on their own with jeans or a skirt or layered under blazers and snap cardigans. They didn’t show any skin, but they were casually body-con, with a high crewneck whose modesty left a lot to the imagination. Los Angeles Apparel’s baby-rib fabric and Buck Mason’s regular rib fabric both feel really nice and substantial and have held up to repeated wash and wear (they’re my most-worn tops).

A black long-sleeve knit top is not surprising or even noticeable, but it’s extremely flattering and just so easy to wear. I thought I needed a statement top to go out, but it turns out all I want is to not think about it and also be comfortable. There’s a time for dressing up and, for special occasions, rest assured that I will put together a reallook, but for a casual night out here and there for this mom of a certain age, a black long-sleeve shirt will more than suffice. I hate to call it a uniform, but now it’s the only thing I want to wear, whether I’m going out or not. Here are some other cotton black long-sleeves I tried.

Flore Flore Max Tee
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After trying on a bunch of long-sleeves, I concluded that the thicker the cotton, the more elevated the shirt will look. I like the cotton gauge on the Max Tee from Flore Flore, which feels similar to the Los Angeles Apparel and the Buck Mason. The thick crewneck collar is nice, too, and I love the banded cuffs, a tiny but nice touch. It’s quite expensive, though.

Flore Flore Olivia Longsleeve
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Flore Flore’s tissueweight tee is a good option for something that’s ever so slightly sheer. It’s lightweight and thin and very soft.

Los Angeles Apparel Baby Rib Long Sleeve Scoopneck Tee
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I picked up the scoop neck in the store because I loved the crewneck so much. This is just as flattering, and the scoop is generous without being too revealing.

Gap Modern Rib T-Shirt
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Uniqlo Soft Ribbed T-Shirt - Long Sleeve
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I’m lumping these together because they’re both ribbed and a similar price point. I find that regular ribbed shirts feel looser than a baby rib so you don’t get that body-hugging feel that I think is key to making them look sharp. These tops from Gap and Uniqlo are well-priced and a good everyday option. For dinner, I wish they were thicker and tighter. I usually wear a small but could have sized down to XS for a snugger fit.

Leset Nando Slim Fit Long Sleeve
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Leset Kelly Slim Fit Long Sleeve
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Leset Pointelle Slim Fit Long Sleeve
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Leset’s Margo teeis one of my favorite short sleeves, so I was excited to try the brand’s long-sleeves, which it offers in a baby rib (Nando) and regular rib (Kelly) as well as a pointelle. The pointelle is too loungy to look nice enough for a night out, but it’s very comfortable and laid back — a good weekend top. The Nando has a nice body-hugging fit that’s similar to the Los Angeles Apparel and the Flore Flore, but the fabric is more lightweight. The regular ribbed Kelly is stretchier and therefore looser fitting. I might size down on all of these.

Skims Cotton Jersey Long Sleeve T-Shirt
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Extremely soft, lightweight, and fitted but a little too sporty for dinner. The black is also more of dark-gray matte, which makes it more casual. It is very comfortable on and feels amazing on the body.

Quince Stretch Cotton Jersey Fitted Long Sleeve T-Shirt
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This has a similar feel to the Skims, but the black hue is darker, making it more polished. And like the Skims, it is quite stretchy and very comfortable.

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