I Tried Charmin’s 1,700-Sheet ‘Forever’ Roll of Toilet Paper
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When it comes totoilet paper, I’m a
hoarder. In fact, I once got my car broken into because I was using my trunk to store three packs of Costco-size TP (which I had gotten from my mother, herself a toilet-paper hoarder who had bought enough rolls during COVID to last our family five years). After the car incident, I started hoarding my toilet paper in my bathroom. Nothing brings me more pleasure than seeing all my toilet-paper rolls at the ready, secure in my knowledge that I won’t need to worry about buying toilet paper for at least six months.
Charmin’s Forever Roll, a new 1,700-sheet behemoth that can last a two-person household up to one month, promises to calm this anxiety. It’s roughly equivalent to 32 rolls of toilet paper. Charmin’s Forever Roll Starter Pack includestwoof these megasize rolls — the equivalent of 64 rolls of toilet paper, or a two-month supply — plus its own easily assembled holder, since there’s no hope of fitting this bad boy anywhere else in a standard bathroom.
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Once mounted on its attractive brushed stainless-steel holder, it looks like a small tire with a 12-inch diameter. I chucked the second roll in with the rest of my paper goods to be used, theoretically, next month. A bonus is that the Forever Roll definitely takes up less space than a family-size pack of Charmin. You could easily keep one under the sink and out of the way.
While I can’t say it doesn’t look extremely silly, almost like I robbed a public-school bathroom, the holder is relatively low-profile and I had no problem tucking it along the wall next to my toilet. Possibly thanks to my bidet, my roommate and I have not even made a dent in it. Over the past three weeks, I think we’ve managed to get through about a quarter of it, though its general size and shape remains virtually unchanged. It’s basically the bathroom equivalent of Willy Wonka’s Everlasting Gobstopper. Each day, I tear off more and more of it, but it never seems to shrink. At the rate we’re going, it’s likely I will have this roll in my bathroom until Christmas.
Now, here’s the rub: I don’t like two-ply toilet paper. I have been mocked for this position. A friend once asked me why I insisted on buying Scott, which she said feels like wiping with a sheet of loose-leaf paper. But I can’t deny it: Two-ply is simply too plush for me. I know you die-hard Charminers are probably wondering if they skimped on the thickness, but don’t worry, it’s the same exact extrasoft tissue the brand uses for all its products, just supersized.
So if you prefer Charmin, then you’ll be quite happy with the Forever Roll. I also think it could make a good gift this year. The Forever Roll rides the razor’s edge between a gag gift and an actually useful item. Ideal, I think, for a college kid or someone who just moved into a house. And since I will be going back to my regular toilet-paper routine, I’ve been thinking about gifting the second roll to my mother.
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