104 Gift Ideas From Amy Sedaris

Where can I even start with John Derian — everything there is a great gift. But I love these mushrooms, and you can put them in plant displays or use them to decorate packages.

Someone sent me a picture of their daughter in it. It’s so good.

I saw someone wearing them on the subway to grab the pole.

They also make Christmas-tree skirts. Who doesn’t love a puffy star?

I burn a votive candle every night, for my mother, for all the pets who’ve died — I like beeswax, because I learned that bees deliver messages to the gods quicker. I get these from a church website. I love going straight to a source. I love the paper you get from a bodega when you buy flowers that says “say it with flowers” as wrapping paper. You can go on floral websitesand order itor you can go to a bodega — they’ll usually sell me a roll for $20.

You don’t see many things flavored banana. It’s up there with artificial vanilla. This is just a really nice company that I found a while ago.

I saw a guy at the gym with them, who told me that the 7-Elevens in Tokyo sell these. So I went right online to get them.

I first saw these in Paris, and I’ve been looking for them for years, but now you can order them on Amazon.

This fake glazed doughnut is really nice — the glaze on it is kind of hard like nail polish.

I buy a lot ofthese mushroom nightlights. People will come over and say, “Oh my God, I love this,” and I’ll send them home with one.

I don’t generally like cake mixes (they irritate the roof of my mouth), but I love Dolly’s. I am jealous of her — I write Duncan Hines all the time, saying,Come on, let’s do a collaboration, put me on that short list, I’m the right person for you!I reach out to collaborate with brands. Scotch tape is crazy not to hire me. I talk about it all the time — come on! Le Sportsac, I’d love to do a collaboration with, Baggu …

They come in a ton of colors, in thin or thick.

If you are sick with a cold and take a bath with this, you’ll get better. Every winter, I stock up.

I saw this at the Andy Warhol Museum gift shop — I haven’t squeezed it at all; I just have it on display in a little glass.

I’ll get these for people all the time. David has them by the pool in London. Now that his boyfriend had a hip replacement, they have people over all the time, and David doesn’t like to have guests drinking out of his glasses, so he uses these instead.

Canes Galore is fantastic — Hugh got me one as a prop for Christmas and I love everything about it. You have to saw it off at the end and add rubber tips. I use it around the house as a joke. My godkids come over and I act like an old lady.

I collect miniatures, and I got these at theTiny Doll Housestore on the Upper East Side. I get most of my miniatures there or on websites or at flea markets, and I love when they’re handmade — like, you’re carving baskets out of walnuts, okay, you’re crazy.

One time, I got shingles, and they put me on steroids and I got interested in tarot cards. I went to my guy who sticks needles in me, and I was like, “I feel fantastic,” and he was like, “Amy, that’s speed, you can’t take those anymore.”

I have the big tube and the little one, which I keep in my bag. It’s not a tacky rose, it’s a nice rose.

Fran’s chocolate salted caramels are just really, really good.

Teva Livne makes the cutest little creatures. When she met [Sedaris’s beloved rabbit who recently passed away] Tina, the way she approached the rabbit told me everything about her. She just sat there and stared as if she were in the presence of a majestic animal, and her artwork is kind of like that.

I am the ultimate hostess, and I needed to get Plan B for my guests who were coming the next day to have in their room, so I ordered it via Postmates, and they had it delivered that night. I was too anxious I wouldn’t find it the next day.

Everything in this store is amazing — and I love the way they gift-wrap the candles with little bouquets on each box.

I mix five perfumes at once — I do whatever RuPaul says not to do. David says I smell like cookies and pencil shavings, but this is one of the fragrances I use.

These are really a good gift to give anybody.

These lightweight down blankets have a satin border, and I’ve gotten many through the years because Tina used to put holes in mine. The colors have gotten more saturated — the blue is now a deeper blue, and I prefer the powder blue — but these are a good pricey gift. You can even throw the whole thing in the washing machine and dryer.

I collect vintage Barbie clothes and used to have Barbie clothes made for myself — I’d say: Can you make this exact dress, but my size?

They’re still the best potato chips.

I love Miracle Balm and use it on my cheeks and lips.

If you have joint pain, this stuff makes you feel like a teenager again. They’re like horse pills, I hate it when I take them, but I take two every night. David had a friend who said, “Take them and all your problems will be over in three days.”

This soap is beautiful and one of the best soaps I’ve ever used.

I have small salt dishes everywhere, and it’s easy to just have a tub of this.

Paper flowers are my weakness — my friends had to have an intervention and said I couldn’t buy anymore.

I met this designer on a movie. She puts a lot of thought into what she makes — if I buy jewelry, I buy it from her.

I have a lot of fake cakes. I keep them in my refrigerator, and then I have stacks of them lined up on the top shelf of a closet.

Someone once gave me these tequila shots for my birthday, and then when I went to Astor Wines, I saw they had them behind the counter. I bought a bunch and gave them away as gifts. You can use the glass jar as a little vase afterward.

Our new Angie calendar — same photos as last year but with a few new photos. You can getAngie stickerstoo.

I love Ana Gasteyer, and she sells products from her show. Imagine if you were driving and got pulled over by a cop wearing a hat that says “Sugar & Booze”?

I wrap all my Christmas presents in thisPeanutswrapping paper.

I get mysoft pink bulbs, which I use in most of my lights, atBulbs NYC. They stopped making them, and they actually have a bunch in stock now, but otherwise I’ll get them off eBay.

I always have a pair of Bloch ballet flats — I have them in white, black, and pink — to wear when I go to people’s houses and take my shoes off. I also travel with them and wear them in hotels.

Everything at Nickey Kehoe is good, and I love this little hook. Go snooping on their website.

I’ve had thesebath matsin every color but blue — Tina was always putting holes in them.

My hair is too fucking thin for these, but I love Sandy Liang’s bows. I havea really long onehanging in my guest bedroom.

These are great — I’ve given these out as gifts to, like, 30 people.

This nail balm is such a pretty color. It’s just a good girlie gift, for when she’s on the phone so she can do her cuticles.

I reached out to this brand to do a collab and they never got back to me. It’s adorable. I don’t want a flimsy bag.

You can adopt a puppet from the Bob Baker Marionette Theater and it pays for its upkeep. I haveRiver Rat— I love his shoes.

These are really good. I sometimes burn sausage and put it on top — they’re just good to have in your house.

This is just a tote bag that I have that I really like. All their tote bags are great, as well as their turtlenecks.

This is Jennifer Aniston’s hair-care line, and I keep it in the guest bathroom. Everyone who uses it is obsessed. I think a travel-size set would be cute gift.

I use this as my wallet and put everything in it: ChapStick, a pen, a piece of paper, cash, hand lotion. And then I have my cards in an old Miu Miu card holder. People comment whenever I pull it out: “I love Marimekko!”

Half of my wardrobe is 45R, and their bandannas are the ones to get.

I put this all over my face, sometimes at the bottom of my feet, on my lips. It’s good to have around. I get it at Macy’s.

Whenever I go to Macy’s, I also pick up a little pair of gold ball earrings, the kind you get when you first get your ears pierced.

That pot has personality; it’s peppy. It sits on your stove and looks like it comes alive. It’s just a really good peppy pot.

You gotta have Santa Maria Novella potpourri. I had it out and someone was about to sprinkle it on his pizza. I wasn’t worried he’d eat it and die — I more cared because it’s so expensive! I have it in dishes around my house and in sachets for my drawers.

These are theknivesI use. Paul Dinello always comes over and says, “Your knives are useless.” But I love them.

This is a goodlip balm. It’s got a little tint to it. I saw a lady who had it; I said, “Your lip balm is beautiful,” and I’ve been ordering it every since.

I love this princess dress — it’s from a store in Flatbush that sells handmade little suits for boys and girls. It’s one of my favorite shops.

I keep thesegift cardsin my pocketbook, and when I take up people’s time mailing things at the post office — I’m there every day — I just give the people at the counter a Dunkin’ card.

I love this kettle. They have it in other colors too.

I loveKate McKinnon, and I wanted something for young adults in my guide.

It looks like the dial to a safe, and I keep it on my refrigerator. People who come over always notice it.

Long-stem carnations are my favorite flower. They come tight, but after a few days, they open up and last for a long time.

Thisrobeis pricey but beautiful. Give it to someone you really like.

A bucket of Dubble Bubble — forget about it! Istore my cleaning suppliesin an empty one

Epicuren makes really good products. A lot of masseuses use this lotion because it aborbs nicely. It’s not a heavy or overbearing coconut.

I love it. Sarah Jessica, she does no wrong.

Just some nice, affordable earrings. I wanted to include something from Claire’s.

I got these socks at an art-museum gift shop when I was in London, and I wear them almost every day.

I go to the actual store in North Carolina to get the peanuts. My fantasy is to be on a peanut can, dressed up as an old lady. I want to do that before I die.

I love these Batsheva socks.

It’s this line of kind of slumpy-wear. It’s the stuff you’d wear if you were a beachcomber — loose-fitting and hippieish. Daniel Craig was actually just photographed in a pair of their pants. I wear their corduroys. I like the attitude of their clothing.

I like a lot of differentcandles, but my go-to is still a good Diptyque. I like this Mexican orange one; it has a little bite to it.

I bought this for somebody once; I love it.

Trico Field on West Broadway has the coolest kids’ clothing. I spend a fortune on clothing for my godkids, and Trico has stuff you can’t get anywhere else.

I love Dum-Dums. The first time I met Parker Posey, she was eating a lollipop, and I said, “Is that a Dum-Dum?” And she goes, “Yes.”

I love going to Formaggio Essex for their cheeses. I’ll also get potato chips, caramels, and special olive oil there.

Whenever I see pre-threaded needles I buy them.

I have about ten or so of her skirts — she’ll make whatever length you want. I’ve gotten a few hemmed to be above my knee. They’re just fantastic skirts and I wear them all the time. With a little cleaning-lady vest shirt or a Japanese T-shirt.

This is a good map. I was in a restaurant and a guy gave me and Andy Cohen this map. He emailed me:This would make a great stocking stuffer, which was such a turn-off for me, but it was on my list to post anyway.

She rescues animals like roosters with no feet. If you donate, you can get this snow-bunny pin.

I have one upstairs — it’s just a really goodmakeup mirror. It’s pricey. A good gift for an 18-year-old girl or gay guy.

This is a fantastic Muji toaster oven that the store doesn’t sell anymore but you can still get on eBay.

This company is really good. I know the guy who makes them, and I like his hand towels a lot. This is a classy gift.

If you have a cut or anything, but some Boo-Boo Balm on it and it’s gone. I use it on my lips at night; it’s a good cure-all. I have four jars stashed all over my apartment. I’m never without my Boo-Boo Balm.

Tina’s on this guide a lot. I love these add-on stamps.

If you wanna get someone a classy pair of earrings, go to Ted Muehling. This is actually a good price for pearls.

I just bought some. For the Italian in your life.

It’s so festive. It comes in black, too.

London Undercover makes the best umbrellas.

All straight guys like Snow Peak.

This woman does makeup for TV shows and makes these glow-in-the-dark bandannas meant for biking at night.

Adam Selman spotted these in Japan and sent them to me. Shovel cutlery!

A candle that smells like a tennis ball.

I like this company and have gotten stuff from them before.

My brother David loves these and suggested I put them on the list.

Dave’s is the best, a New York staple, and straight guys like Carhartt.

A good brand. I love these boxers.

I got it at this beer shop on Christopher Street between Bedford and Bleecker. It’s really good Italian beer. I have it in my refrigerator right now.

David thought a knee candle would be good for straight guys.

My go-to gin. I like a gin martini straight up with an olive.

I like the patch logo. I love going into the store, and all the colors are so beautiful and bright. I think for a straight guy, you should get navy to play it safe, not to scare anybody off.