Is There Such a Thing As the Best Mattress for Sex?
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Welcome to Sex Week on the Strategist, where we’re doing a deep dive on everything you need for the bedroom — from vetting the bestvibratorsto asking stylish people what they keep in their nightstands. For more, head to ourSex Week hub.
When I’m testing amattressto review on the Strategist, the main thing I’m thinking about is whether I got a good night’s sleep on it. But of course, sleep isn’t the onlyactivitypeople use a mattress for. The big-ticket item we spend so much time picking out, with concerns over pressure relief orlower-back support, is also the place where most people have sex.
Some mattress reviewers actually grade mattresses on whether or not they’re good for sex, though I’m skeptical that they’re allactuallyhaving sex on each mattress; rather, they tend to consider qualities like durability, bounciness, and support as a proxy for being good for sex. But, like Carrie Bradshaw turned mattress reviewer, I couldn’t help but wonder,Isthere such a thing as the best mattress for sex? To find out, I called up two experts: Myisha Battle, sex coach and author ofSexual Pleasure for Dummies, andMelanie Rose, host and the designer of the Netflix seriesHow to Build a Sex Room.
Firmness matters most
Some of the materials that make a mattress comfortable aren’t the best for sex; Battle called outmemory foam, in particular, due to its sinkiness. “When you’re trying to hold yourself up on top of someone, your hands and knees sink into the bed,” Battle says. “So logistically, that’s a challenge because you want to be able to access your partner from certain angles. It’s harder to predict those angles when you’re sunk in an inch and a half.” But even if your mattress is not made of memory foam, if it’s too soft, you may have the same problem. Rose recommends a medium-firm mattress for sex, to strike a balance between comfort and firmness. Luckily, that’s the firmness best suited for most people to sleep on, too.
Bounce can be a bonus
In addition to having a firm enough surface, a mattress with some bounce to it can add some oomph to your body’s natural momentum by easing thrusting motions. “I’m thinking of almost a caricature of people having sex, like bouncing up and down, but there’s something to that — that’s where we feel free,” Battle says, “You get to let go and be like,Oh, this is kind of fun. We’re having this intimacy time, but there’s also something extra here, an extra sensory addition.” Rose suggests buying aninnerspring mattressif you want to maximize bounce, because foam typically doesn’t offer the same kind of quick response. She prefers theSaatva Classic mattress, a crowd-pleasing innerspring that is bouncy but nottoobouncy and also quite comfortable, thanks to its cushyEuro pillow top— and which just so happens to beour long-standing pickfor thebest mattress overall. If you prefer the feel of memory foam for sleeping, you could also try ahybrid mattress; because hybrids contain both springs and foam, they can be plenty bouncy as well.
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Keep the noise down (if it’s coming from your mattress, at least)
“No squeaking, darling,” Rose says. “That’s not going to go down well if you’re in an apartment building.” Beyond drawing unwelcome attention, a squeaky mattress can also kill the mood. According to Battle, “If you’re someone who is easily distracted by noise, finds it hard to stay in the moment, or is more of an anxious person, noises like that can be very distracting and inhibit actually your body’s ability to enjoy itself.” However, if you do hear squeaking while doing the deed, make sure to find the true culprit, asbed framesandbox springscan be noisy, too.
Stay cool
Rose also advises paying attention to temperature, particularly if you live in a warm climate. “You don’t want to overheat because you’re going to be extremely heated when you are in motion,” she says. Acooling mattress, acooling bed systemthat regulates the temperature of your mattress, or, at the very least, a mattress with springs that allow for more airflow (plus a fan in your bedroom) may be worth considering.
But don’t choose sex over sleep
While certain qualities of a mattress may not be optimal for sex, both Battle and Rose emphasized that you should prioritize a mattress that keeps you comfortable while you sleep. Think about it this way, Rose says: “If you don’t get enough sleep, you’re not going to be able to perform.”
How to make any mattress better for sex
If your mattress isn’t cutting it for sex but you aren’t ready or willing to replace it, don’t forget that you can have sex outside of your actual bed, Battle suggests, which is probably the cheapest and easiest solution. If that doesn’t suit you, she suggests adding amattress topperto your bed to provide some extra — and nonpermanent — firmness or bounce.
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Liberator Wedge
You can also try adding awedge pillowor ramp that’s specifically designed for sex. “The foam will give you something solid to put your hands on, put your knees on, et cetera. And it props your body up around your partner,” Battle says. “Or if you’re on your back or on your stomach and you’re sinking down into the bed, a wedge can be used to prop up your pelvis for better access.”
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If you really want to take it up a notch, Rose suggests investing in sex-specific furniture to use instead of or in addition to your actual bed. TheTantraChair, which she describes as an “authentic Kama Sutra divan,” is a favorite because “it supports your back, it supports and elevates your hips, and you can obtain different positions,” she says. It can also make sex easier for partners of different heights. It’s also expensive, however, and while Rose vouches that the quality is excellent, she also told me there are plenty of cheaper (and still worthwhile) knockoffs, including fromLiberator.
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Rose also likesLiberator’scurved Flip Ramp, which can be used on top of a mattress or on the floor. When sexy time is over, it conveniently folds up into a discreet ottoman.
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