celebrity shopping

What Catherine Cohen Can’t Live Without

Photo-Illustration: The Strategist; Photo: Zack DeZon

If you’re like us, you’ve probably wondered what famous people add to their carts. Not the JAR brooch and Louis XV chair but the hair spray and the electric toothbrush. We asked comedian Catherine Cohen — whose new comedy special The Twist … ? She’s Gorgeous is out now on Netflix — about her disgusting healing pills, the hot sauce that makes her feel at home, and the mood-lifting bracelet she can’t live without.

I’m convinced that I’m on the brink of death, and a friend of mine years ago at a show told me about these pills. They taste like absolute hell. Every time I have to smell them, it’s so fucking disgusting. But I think they work. I actually took some before I hopped on this call. If I feel a little tickle in my throat or if I’m traveling, I take these disgusting pills and believe that they heal me. When I was in London a few weeks ago doing shows, I had an insane ritual where I take these three times a day, chug three liters of water, and, you know, hyperventilate. I’m really a chill guy’s girl.

This is really good for immunity. If I feel a little run-down, I’ll eat a clove of raw garlic and it burns. I love to feel the burn to remember I’m alive. Similarly to the vitamins, I feel like it must be working if it burns this much. I’m like, Food is medicine. Sometimes when I’m eating vegetables, I Google what vitamins are in it, so I feel like I’m doing something good for myself. The only downside to eating raw garlic is the way your breath smells. I did have a bunch of raw garlic yesterday before going to a show, and I was like, My breath is out of this world. So this is best done when you’re not socializing, but it is good for you.

I’ve been using this for a couple of years since I hurt my vocal cords and I had to take some time off. I saw a vocal therapist, who recommended this to me. If I’m performing or traveling, I try to do it twice a day. It’s the only way to get steam directly to your vocal cords, and it helps with swelling and it hydrates them. This requires these stupid expensive water capsules, but it’s the gold standard. When I was doing the Edinburgh Fringe in 2019, I was doing a show almost every night for a month, so I had to employ all kinds of crazy techniques.

This is something else I picked up from my vocal therapist. She taught me that vocalizing through a metal straw helps stretch and soothe tired vocal cords. Even if you’re having to talk all day, if you set aside ten minutes to do a few of these exercises, it helps with swelling and to stretch out your cords. I like to travel with a metal straw so I can do them whenever I want.

I found this at the grocery store during the pandemic and was thrilled. I love Taco Bell. It’s delicious, and they do amazing things with their product line. If I’m having a Cheesy Gordita Crunch, I could use six packets of their Fire Sauce. So imagine my delight when I realized they sell the Fire Sauce in grocery stores and I could put it on whatever I want. It’s good with anything — eggs in the morning, chili, grilled cheese. I don’t know why, but it makes me feel like I’m home: at Taco Bell in Union Square at 3 a.m., you know, ruining my life.

I don’t remember how it came into my life, but I’ve had my T3 flat iron since college. She keeps my hair sleek and elegant. I tried wearing my hair curly for years, but I just prefer it straight. It’s very small, which is perfect because it’s easy to use and good to travel with. I brought it to London and was actually electrocuted after plugging it in, but I still kept her because she still worked. That’s how you know it’s love. I feel lonely without her. She’s a part of me. I use her almost every day.

$29 for 2

I think skin care is a myth. I’m still sometimes duped into buying hundred-dollar creams because it’s fun and it makes you feel something, but really, all you need is a simple lotion so nothing dries out. That’s what this is. I don’t need to overthink it. I love the CeraVe PM because it’s really light, and you can just get it at the drugstore. I spend so much money on so much stupid shit that if I can simplify one thing and get it at CVS, it’s for the best.

I wear a cat eye almost every day, and I’ve been using Maybelline for years now. I like Kat Von D, too, but this works just as well, if not better than more expensive brands. It’s so good. It’s really pigmented, it never smudges, and it lasts a long time. It’s also so affordable, so I can buy it all the time and not stress out about the price.

I love costume jewelry. It makes life more exciting. I bought this a few months ago when I was kind of depressed and I was like, I need some sparkle in my life. I became obsessed with wearing as many jewels as possible, but my brain cannot fathom spending more than $100 on jewelry. It’s insane how expensive tennis bracelets are, so I found the Baublebar bracelet. It’s fake but stunning. I wear it every day. It puts me in a good mood when I look at it. I’m like, Okay, I can get through this day. Life is glamorous.

I can’t walk in heels to save my life — it’s my one flaw. And I live in New York, so I like to be able to walk three miles without thinking about it. I wear white go-go boots constantly, almost every day. I used to own a Stuart Weitzman pair with a low heel that I loved, but I don’t think they make them anymore. I scoured the internet a few months ago because I wanted to wear white boots in my special, but I’m particular about them. The heels need to be white, they can’t look too costumey, and they can’t be too high. I was looking for weeks and ordered and returned multiple pairs. I was so happy when I found the By Far ones because they check all the boxes and they’re really comfortable. I can wear them to and from shows. They look kind of ’60s cute, and they look good with everything. They’re definitely pricey, but I wear them so much that it feels like something that’s worth the money.

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What Catherine Cohen Can’t Live Without